ACOTAR REWIRTTEN WITH 4th SISTER: The Archeron Healer
by cfishy
Summary: This story picks up on the day Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, and Azriel go to ask the sisters for hosting the human queens in ACOMAF, this time it includes a fourth sister I have named Karlene. She's a talented healer. 'Epilogue' to ACOWAR begins chapter 26. Chapter 27 is a great Feysand wedding.
1. Chapter 1: Unexpected Guest

**ACOTAR REWIRTTEN WITH 4** **th** **SISTER: The Archeron Healer**

 **Some of my thoughts before reading: Rewriting ACOTAR series with a fourth sister I have named Karlene. She found her passion in healing, and while it didn't always help the family, it gave her something to do, and she was often repaid through extra fish, game, or help in other ways.**

 **I named this character Karlene (CAR-lean) for several reasons. It complements the ending phonic sounds of the other sisters, and it has a dual meaning of strength** _ **and**_ **femininity.**

 **Two very important factors for the character Nesta. She does not want to be weak, but also wants to be beautiful. Karlene achieves this effortlessly, causing an even bigger rift between Nesta and Karly. Karlene is closest to Feyre, she was one who introduced Karly to a healer, which she learned from before he passed away right before the events of ACOTAR. Karlene is fiercely protective of her sisters, particularly Elain, but disregards her father as Nesta does but not as cruelly.**

 **This story picks up on the day Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian, and Azriel go to ask the sisters for hosting the human queens in ACOMAF. In a few chapters some bits of dialog are directly from the book series, but nothing else is taken so directly. This will be noted at the beginning of the chapter.**

 **View is mainly from Karlene, but there is a good amount from other main characters. This is noted at the beginning of the chapter in bold.**

 **Chapter One: Surprise Guest**

 **Karlene:**

It had taken an act of patience to keep from losing my temper at the boy. I had been there for over a day and a half. Issac Hale's wife had a long labor. They had also called me to their house much sooner than they should have. New parents always did. The first few hours had been a lot of sitting around, and telling her how to breathe through the contractions that so slowly increased.

I knew she was in pain, and the screaming and whining from her I didn't bate an eye at, but Issac was whimpering just as bad. Eventually the blue child made it's way into this world. After giving strict instructions to Issac's eldest sister, I departed at last.

I was running through the sets of supplies I had used so I could send Mrs. Laurant for replacements in the morning. I had not noticed that all the lights in the manor were out. Even the emerald green gleam was hidden under the snow. Normally the lights would be left on until I made it into bed. Normally a bath would be drawn for me the second I came through the door. It was probably later than I thought, and they had gone off to bed.

I pushed the heavy door open myself. By the embers of the fire in the entry way I saw a huge winged figure at the top of the stairs.

I already reached into my giant medical bag and wrapped my hand around the knobbed stick I used to massage the cramps from muscles. I brandished it at the thing. Feyre had told us about the bat like creature called the Attor. She had warned us that it might come here. It would make sense, she had said, for them to attack us. It made sense why the lights were out too.

The creature took a smooth step down the stairs. There was no way it was human. I adjusted my grip on the stick. To it, all I had was a stick, but it was made of ash wood.

"NESTA!" I screamed. She had to be here, or at least alive. I wouldn't risk screaming for Elain, but Nesta would help. I heard doors slamming and feet slapping on the hallway on the upper level. I did not take my eyes off the creature. It moved closer. Hands raised in surrender. I wasn't that stupid. "NESTA!" I screamed louder this time.

"Karlene!" Feyre snapped from the top of the stairs. "It's fine. He's a friend."

I didn't move, didn't let myself take my eyes off the massive set of wings and black eyes.

"Karlene." Feyre sighed.

"Why are you back?" I asked.

"We needed your assistance." The thing said. A rich deep voice filled the room, and it promised death.

"Are you hurt?" I asked, finally looking over Feyre. I figured the Fae would have better healers, but depending on the injury perhaps she couldn't go to a healer. Oh dear. "Are you pregnant?"

"No, uh, well it would be easier just to explain from the beginning."

"Where are Nesta and Elain?"

"Sleeping." The man said.

"Like I didn't wake them up." I retorted.

"Who's this?" a taller but no less muscled figure asked.

"My lovely little sister." Feyre smiled down at me, still at the top of the stairs.

"The trouble-maker?" He asked, I could see the white of his teeth from here.

"Obviously," I answered and dropped my bag on the floor. I started up the stairs, the Fae on them, getting closer and closer with each step. He pressed against the railing to give me more room. I scrutinized the man on the stairs. Gorgeous and deadly.

I pushed past them onto the upper floor and walked to Nesta room. Her greeting was unpleasant, but it was very characteristic of her. I peaked in on Elain, who was somehow still asleep. Feyre and now three companions were standing at the top of the stairs, waiting. Feyre led me back into the dining room. Where I sat and ate while Feyre talked about everything that happened after she returned to the other high lord.

Feyre talked for an hour, the three shadows disappeared somewhere in the house.

In the morning, Elain cooked breakfast, we all sat, forks clanking on glass plates.

"So," one with long hair said, I turned my attention on him. "Why were you out so late?"

"Aren't you supposed be super observant?"

He sputtered slightly. Nesta shifted pointedly in her chair.

"Was it a boy or a girl?" Elain asked.

"A boy, he almost suffocated, it took so long." I replied.

"Well it's good thing you were there." Elain chirped.

"You're a mid-wife." The one with shadows said.

"I have skills in all healing arts, not just midwifery." I assessed them, even if Feyre hadn't told me they were warriors, I would know. "Being a mid-wife would be like only knowing how to guard a perimeter. One of the most needed tasks, but not who you call when you actually need help." I explain coolly.

"What do you know about guarding perimeter's?" The long haired one asked, throwing me a sultry glance that likely had hundreds of girls dropping their pants for him.

I opened my mouth to make a comment about how I figured he needed an example closer to his expertise since I doubted he could understand much else, but Feyre intruppted me before I could begin. "Karlene is engaged to a soldier." Feyre quipped to Cassian. I'm pretty sure she kicked him under the table too.

"She is not." Elain and Nesta said together. Feyre hummed to herself, as if to disagree with them without speaking.

"I'm curious now," Rhysand said with a look at me. an invitation to share, and defend myself.

I heaved a huge sigh. "Tremaine," I started.

"Oh, what a lovely name." Cassian touted. Now I wanted to kick him.

"I'm sure you know we did not always have all of these assets." I stopped, and they all nodded. "Tremaine's family was much better off than we were, and I found myself helping his little brother, and while better off, they didn't have money to pay. They offered me food, whenever I needed it. No questions asked. I spent more time there in the winter than at our old house.

"When we were poor, Tremaine was most certainly my best option for a husband. Now, Nesta and Elain believe I should find myself a nice lord's son." I could not keep the ice out of my voice.

"She left out that he is the most attractive man in the world." Feyre added with a wink.

I rolled my eyes at that. Her friends were easily more attractive than Tremaine, physically at least.

"Here I thought you liked my pretty face most." Cassian smiled at Feyre. She rolled her eyes at that.

"You are a male, not a man." Feyre with a smile, aimed at me. "Karly will marry Tremiane, as soon as father comes back." And I wanted to believe she would put Nesta and Elain in their place for me so I could marry him.

"She will not." Nesta said. And that is what I believed.

I left them all to sit at the breakfast table.

"There are things we need to talk about still," Feyre called after me.

"I'll be right back." I practically ran to the library. If Rhysand really was as rich as the other high lord, I'm sure he could get medical books, Fae medical books. There were never enough healers, and if war was coming I would have to be prepared, plus it would be interesting to read a different medical book. My vocabulary was expanding with each book, but it mostly consisted of medical names and terms.

I hurried back to the table and handed the high lord the book. "This is my favorite style of textbook."

"Alright." He said unsure.

"I want one as close as possible, but for Fae healing." I explained. Nesta immediately turned purple. Elain turned white.

"No." Nesta hissed.

"You said war is coming." I cut her off. "I have feeling that there are things to learn from the Fae that apply to humans as well. I will help where I can." I flicked my gaze from Nesta to Rhysand. "With or without your permission."

"You won't be leaving this house. Its already decided that we are staying here. It is safe here." Nesta ordered.

"For now." I quipped.

"Karly," Feyre chided.

"I'm not in the mood for you to be a hypocrite." I said slowly. Choosing each word carefully.

"You are talented, but there are far more experienced healers, ones who have dealt with wounds that you would see from battle."

Thank goodness the there was a knock at the door or I might have said exactly what I was thinking. Feyre had left us to go on a suicide mission to free the other high lord. She had died, and now I wasn't allowed to help wounded. It wasn't like I was asking to fight. I had years more experience healing than she had fighting. Elain rose from her seat to go to the door. I followed her, figuring it would be Issac Hale or some relation asking me to come check on the baby and mother.

How dare Feyre, she was the reason I was healer in the first place. A year after she went in to the forest to hunt, she started to bring me along. Just to pick herbs to sell, sometimes for food, sometimes for medical purposes. Where she had learned about the herbs, I didn't know, but a few weeks after of picking herbs to sell to the healers, Feyre brought me along. Each trip back to the healer, I spent more and more time until the healer invited me to stay as an apprentice. The healer took a liking to me, and I was quick learner. So, I learned. I was twelve and I found a passion that knew Feyre didn't share with her hunting. Often, I didn't actually make money, but worked in exchange for promises for fish or extra crops. Nesta ridiculed me for it, but I loved helping people. I'm sure that war was going to much, much worse, but I couldn't stand sitting around.

"Karlene," Elain smiled at the doorway, even as she called to me. Great, perfect timing for a visit from Grayson.

"Send Grayson away, Elain. He can't be here right now." I said, still descending the staircase.

"It's not Grayson, it's Tremaine. And I would never send Grayson away." Elain chided.

"Elain," I started.

Elain closed the door slightly. "I like Tremaine, but he really isn't in your league anymore Karly. I will send him away if you want."

"No, go back to breakfast." I waved her away. I wondered if my sister's Fae ears could hear this conversation. I loved Tremaine. I had loved him for years, but now that we were rich again Elain didn't want him around. He was better off than we had been, but not by much. Nesta, Elain, and our father were all too happy for me to be married to him, but now they shook their heads at the idea.

As much as I tired to get over the pain of their rejection, it sucked. It was one of the main reasons I hadn't already married him.

"Tremaine," I smiled when I opened the door. He was holding flowers. Three binds of them. All handpicked. He didn't have the money to buy flowers. It didn't matter, normally he would bring me all colors and kinds, but it was winter, so the makeshift bouquets were made of the only flower in bloom. Such contrast to the bouquets of brightly colored roses Grayson shipped in for Elain.

"What's going on? Where is your staff?" He asked. Tremaine's father was a soldier for the human queens years ago. After he lost his arm, he moved his whole family across the sea and into the middle of no where. Tremaine didn't talk about the reason why, but I had my suspicions, just from the few times I'd talked about it with his father. They were both extra wary, and quick to spot problems. Tremaine might not have been trained for the queens army, but I knew his father had taught him everything.

"We sent them away for a holiday." I pressed my lips together. I had to be careful with him. He knew my tells better than Feyre.

"You sent them away, and you're not inviting me in?" His deep blue eyes were alight with curiosity.

"Would you like to go for a walk, to the grove?" I asked, still blocking the doorway.

He studied me. Intent eyes laying over muscle in my jaw, every fold of the fabric. He nodded, and extended the flowers. "For your sisters, and you."

"You don't have to bring me flowers every time you come see me." I sighed, but accepted them anyway.

"Well, it's the flowers that I have to show you. Every time there's a pretty one, I seem to use it as an excuse to come over." He said only half serious.

"I'll get my coat. Do you want gloves, or a hat?" I had used our newfound wealth to give back to Tremaine. His family never had enough to feed my whole family, whenever I came to treat Tremaine's little brother, they had fed me. There was always, always enough for me. Without my ministrations to Tyler, they would have one less son. Tyler was born tiny, too soon. I spent half a month giving Tremaine's mother special brews and helping her be comfortable to try to keep little Tyler in the womb. The baby that would be Tyler wanted out far sooner than was healthy. Even after he was born, he was sickly. Now Tyler could run and play, but when the seasons turned he had difficulty breathing.

"No, Kars. You can't keep clothing me every time I come over." He parroted my earlier statement.

"Sure I can." I smiled at him. He leaned in to kiss me. After we broke apart, I slipped back inside the house for my cloak and mittens.

My cloak had sleeves, so really it was like a very flowy, loose, fur lined jacket. My mittens were clipped to the ends of the sleeves, so I could slide them off without dropping them. I also changed my shoes. Slippers would not do well in the snow. Of all the things that came with the money Tamlin had gifted us, having clothes that kept me warm was the best of it.

I brought the flowers to the sitting room where my sisters were. Elain inspected the flowers, then bustled off for a vase. Nesta didn't even look at them. Every time he had brought them for all of us. He picked enough for me because he loved me, Nesta because she was the one he had to win over, and Elain because she loved them. Every time Nesta dismissed him I felt that happy ending slip further and further away.

I was so close to the door when Azriel materialized from under the stairs. "Karlene, you should let me go with you."

"I don't need a chaperone." I deadpanned.

"What about a guard?" He pressed, walking forward.

"From Tremaine? No." I scoffed and moved for the door.

"From Hybern." He countered, and took only one step towards the door. The only sin that it would be him guarding me. Even though I had spent the past months without one.

"If they aren't here yet, they won't magically appear because you are here." Even as I said the words I wasn't sure. I paused. "Can you stay hidden?"

"Yes," he nodded too. I heaved sigh. Alright. I can play along for another few hours.

I had grabbed Tremaine a pair of gloves anyway. He could give them back if it bothered him that much. I wasn't going to let him get frostbite because my sister had Fae in our house. We were walking to the grove. It was Feyre's land, Feyre's trees, but I tended to the paper work and made sure the gardeners were paid.

I had bought the land, and the ash trees. White, green, black, and blue ash trees. I didn't know which did the most damage to the Fae. They were all sprinkled and mixed together. The merchant that had supplied the trees had said this was biggest order he ever had. In fact, the other reason for the variety in the types of ash tree, was that he didn't have enough of one kind or even two kinds to fill the massive plot I had bought Feyre.

Even though Feyre was Fae now, I figured ash was still valuable. The trees were little, most still seedlings. Wrapped to protect them from the harsh winter below the wall. With their small size each tree could maybe make a few arrow shafts or one stake.

The grove looked empty in its current state, Ash trees grew so large they had planted them far apart. By the time I was very old it might start to look like a forest. Now that my sister was going to be young forever, it made me feel so much more fragile. The Fae were the elite species. No matter how hard I tried to heal someone, it was always a temporary victory. We would die eventually and with a sister who would stay young far longer than I would even live, it felt, for the time, pointless.

"Let's build a house at the top the hill." I said quietly. Meaning the hill that overlooked the southern fields his family had just bought. "A big house, but not quite a manor, with a red roof."

"I don't have that kind of money, and if we get married without your dowry then neither will you." He pressed a kiss to the top of my head. His breath was warm in the snow.

"I have my own accounts too." I gripped his arm tighter, bringing him to a stop.

"But they aren't for you to buy houses with, you have that money for medicines and dresses." He looked serious.

"I do not know when my father will get back, Tremaine. It could be a whole year or longer." We may not have that long. Not if the war is coming, not if this King is targeting Feyre.

"Kars," he tilted my chin up. He would know something was wrong. I let him see the fear and sorrow in my eyes. I wanted him to know. I wanted him to come with me when this place became too dangerous. He wouldn't leave his family, and I'm not sure Rhys would keen to house more people. I wasn't even sure they would accept if Rhysand offered. I wasn't sure how distrustful they were of the Fae. "Kars, what's wrong?"

"Feyre returned," I said at last.

"That should be a good thing. You should be with your sister while she is here." Tremaine looked confused.

"Where she lives, she has heard more than the whispers my father has about the threat above the wall." I said carefully.

"She knows more, about what the Fae are planning?" His breath fogged. His hands wrapped around my waist.

"She does, and she came to warn us." I whispered, hoping Azriel couldn't hear my words.

"What is coming, Kars?" His voice was hard, serious.

Tears welled in my eyes. "Armies five hundred years in the making." My voice was thick from the tears building.

"The wall," He said quietly, "will protect us."

"The wall is old, and there are already cracks in it. I do not think it could keep out thousands of immortal warriors." We were utterly helpless in the face of Hybern. I started crying, fully, big sobbing breaths.

"We will do what we can. Kars, you already gave us the best weapon." He gestured around to the ash trees. "We are not helpless."

"Outmatched and outnumbered," I protested, over my tears.

"Not hopeless, not helpless." He kissed the tears on my cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2: The Evalar's

**Chapter 2 The Evalar's:**

 **Karlene:**

Tremaine had a grand plan, that I agreed to, only because he seemed so excited about it. There was a joy and a hope that could not be broken in him and I intended to play along.

His family house was small, but there was a large outside living area, land too close to the house to be used for farming. His father was a former soldier for the human queens across the sea. They didn't say much about that time in their lies, but I knew that he was high ranking.

His father, Tristan, lost his arm when the queens were attacked. Something had happened, something dark, and so Tristan and Renee and little Tremaine moved to the furthest and tiniest town they could find.

Tristan had taught Tremaine everything he knew about fighting, with one arm. Tremaine now had the idea to teach me about it. He had some speech about being able to protect myself. He had gone on and on about some men would find me unmarriable if I knew how to fight, but it would make him love me more. Kind words to get me to be safe.

His house was very, very far from anything. Once I would have made this walk without worry or concern. Now, with money, I was more of a target. Now with my sister practically leading this war effort, I was a target. I walked a bit quicker than normal, and I knew it wasn't because of the cold.

When I arrived at the worn cabin, only slightly bigger than one I had recently called home, Tyler burst out of the front door. Screaming my name, to alert everyone within the mile where I was. I scooped him up in my arms and headed into the house. Much to his pleasure since he had run out of the house into the snow without shoes.

Tremaine rose from his seat, where he was cutting cookie patterns out to kiss me. Renee, Tremaine's mother, I handed a sack of things from the manor. Now that winter was on the way out, Elain and Nesta had purged their closets. Renee might as well have some the cloaks or redistribute them to her friends. Elain likely would tell the servants to dispose of them, and they would go to waste.

"These are gorgeous, darling, but why so many?" She had gasped at the material of the cloaks. I eased myself next to Tremaine, stealing a bit of frosting in the bowl next to his work.

"My sisters have a problem with shopping now that we have more money than we could ever need." I explained, I wondered if they thought my face was pink only from the cold or from my embarrassment of their material needs.

"I'm glad of it, it means more girls will be warm this next winter." Renee said matter of factly and patted me on the shoulder. "I won't have to worry about my grandchildren, either. That is if I ever get any." She added with a pointed look.

"Now is pretty much the worst time for that, mom." Tremaine said with a sharp look at his mother, that I was very grateful for.

"Will you two get married at least before I die?" She took Tremaine's tray and put it in the oven.

Tremaine and I exchanged a glance. How do we explain this one to her. Oh, actually my sisters have turned on you all and want me to marry some rich lord.

"Tell me when you plan to smack some sense into that sister of yours so I watch." Renee said at our look. I maybe told her too much.

Tremaine rose from his spot, and dusted the flour off his hands. "Do you need anything else, mom?" A sentence I could not remember ever saying. I do not think I had said the word mom, to my own mother even once. Well, that was a lie, but there wasn't one memory I had of my mother.

"Come back before you freeze." She said with a flick of her wrist.

Tremaine didn't lead me far. To the flat expanse behind the house. The snow hadn't been cleared here, and I sunk to calves.

"First lesson, run faster than the person trying to catch you. Running is always the best option. Run to help, to where more people are, to where you can squeeze into a small spot and they can't get you." He was instructing, his tone even and calculating. This side of him reminded me of Cassian.

I shook my head. "I can't run faster than a Fae."

"No, but they might not care enough to chase you. And if they do, you'll know what to do then." He was so serious. As if the threat were real. I suppose it was, and that was why we were out here. "Alright, run. I'm going to catch you to see what you would do."

I blinked at him. I was not prepared for such a workout this morning. I pulled the tie on my cloak. It would trail behind me, an easy thing to grab. If I made it the trees, then it would snag and slow me down further. Tremaine nodded at me, as it dropped into the snow. A real shame to lose that warmth. I really should have worn taller boots. I spun in the snow and ran.

Tremaine knew he could easily outrun me, and I had made it only a few feet when he wrapped his arms around my waist and hauled me up off the ground. The momentum of bodies caused us to tumble forward, and I twisted myself as we fell, and laid my thumbs on his eyes.

"Good girl." He kissed me, once, twice. He hauled himself off of me and then extended his hand to help me up too. He pulled too much, and I bumped into his chest. His hand tilted my face up. "Maybe we could be doing other things." His kissed me again, longer this time. I was very much inclined to agree.

"Hey, there princess! Kicking his butt yet?" Tristan, Tremaine's dad stomped around the house. "Don't get her all bruised up, her sisters will never let her come back." He meant it as a joke, but if Nesta thought Tremaine was hurting me I knew she would forgo her usual indifference for a very powerful rage. I had a feeling that Tremaine would end up with more bruises than me today.

"Lucky I have to wear all these layers." I commented.

Tremaine's grip around me slipped away, and we turned back to the task. Tristan was very interested in what his son had to say, and even more interested in adding his own comments.

We continued on in the snow for two hours, he walked me through the basics and by the end of the it we were sweaty despite the cold. Tristan handed me a short knife. Making some comment about not hurting myself with it.

"We aren't done with this Kars," Tremaine said when we trekked through the snow to get back into the house. He wanted me to be a full soldier.

"I'll gladly agree to work through situations with you, as long as your dad doesn't watch next time." I brushed my hand over his hip to show my meaning.

Tremaine pitched his voice low so his dad couldn't hear. "If I knew how fast you get turned on play fighting then I should have taught you this a long time ago." His warm breath tickled the shell of my ear. Indeed, I had let my hands be a bit more flirtatious in between the instruction than I usually was, especially in front of people.

I kept walking. Tremaine snagged my fingers so I drug him along. After Tristan turned the corner, I said playfully, "I only agreed so I put my hands exactly where I wanted. It's really a shame that it's so cold out. Who knows what I do if you were shirtless." I pushed into the house, the door sticking slightly.

"Try this Karly!" Tyler practically shoved a frosted cookie into my mouth the second I sat down. I surveyed the worksheets I had given him. No one in his family knew how to read, or at least very well. Now that I had money to buy books and supplies, I was teaching Tyler as I learned. I was a slow learner, and he was slower. Not that there was any rush, he was still young, almost five. I didn't push learning to read on any of the others. They already knew about as much as I did.

"You didn't finish this," I commented.

"It's too hard." He complained. I raised an eyebrow at that. He smiled, sweetly. His parents were too much of push overs. "I don't need to know how to read."

"Yes, you do," his mother and father both snapped.

He went back to pouting. "Why," he whined.

"Knowledge is the only power that can't be taken away from you." I said, reciting some scholar my tutor had a liking to.

"What does that mean?" Tyler asked confused.

"Power, in society can take many forms. Money, influence, physical power, and through means those can all be easily lost. You can make bad investments, or waste all of your money, you can lose favor or a position and lose influence, and you can be hurt or maimed and not be in the same shape you were before. People can't take away what's in your head." I again recited. Maybe it was still too far above his head.

"Like how dad lost his job when he lost his arm?" Tyler asked. Or maybe it wasn't above his understanding.

"Yes, Tyler. Now do the work." Tristan grunted. I didn't dare give him an apology or a look. He needed no sympathy about his arm. He called it his liberation. Tyler didn't quite understand that yet.

We sat at the table talking about the town news. Renee planned to go into town to give the cloaks out today, even though it was to the end of winter, they could be used today. It would be weeks before I left the house without a cloak, so I only agreed with her.

Tyler decided that he needed to go too, and his father grumbled that he would come along to watch Tyler while his wife would mostly likely stop in some shop. The perfect family. And they so desperately wanted me to be a part of it.

I waited for them to leave before giving Tremaine a sleepy grin. It wasn't often that we had the whole house to ourselves. He tilted my head up, to give him better access.

"I love you." He kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck to draw him closer before I parroted the words back. "Shall I carry you? After such a workout you must be exhausted." He laid kisses down my jaw line.

"I don't know. I laid into you pretty good, I might have to bandage you up." I said, kissing him at each word. I hadn't brought my bag with me. It just was so heavy. I'd have to bring some salve for him tomorrow. Or I'd give it to him if he walked me home.

"My healer. Or is it warrior now." He tipped his face to my lips once more, and knew our conversation was over. He claimed my mouth moving and pressing until we were gasping for breath even as we fought for more of each other.

His hands were banded around me, but with a quick swipe, he slid them under me and lifted me off the bench. He carried me into his room where he laid me down.

"Should I be concerned that your bed is made?" I asked. He never made his bed except when we planned to have the house for ourselves. Maybe this trip into town was more planned than he let on. He pulled the stays on my dress and slowly began untying and unfolding each layer I had put on this morning.

"This is always the plan." He said with a wink. I lifted his shirt over his shoulders. So few scars, compared to my sisters friends. Even though I hadn't seen any of them shirtless, Cassian had numerous scars flecking his hands, more than Tremaine on his whole body. Azriel's hands were one mass of scar tissue. I with the bit I knew about Fae healing, I knew the damage to his hands had to be terrible to have such intense damage. I had a feeling my sisters new High Lord, had just as many scars too. "Kars?" Tremaine asked. His hands had gone still when I was staring off into space. Because I was thinking about my sister new and incredibly hot Fae friends.

I leaned into him. Suddenly not interested in savoring every bit of our alone time. I kissed his unblemished shoulder, and laid my head in the crook of his neck.

"Kars." He kissed the top of my head. A blanket draped around my shoulders and then he shifted us. "I love you." He whispered it over and over. He waited for me to explain what had changed my mood so suddenly.

"I don't want you to get hurt in this war. And I know you. You will be the first one to fight. You will always be in the thick of it. I'm a healer Tremaine, not a miracle worker." I let twin tears leak down my cheeks. He kissed them both.

"I don't really want you that close to the fighting either. But we both be as safe as possible." He said. It wasn't like I was going to fight, the risk was minimal compared to being the one who swung the sword.

"I love you." I said at last. He kissed me sweetly in response.


	3. Chapter 3: Cassian's Visit

**Chapter 3: Another visit**

 **Cassian:**

It had been two weeks since the letter was mailed. I wasn't sure how fast letters were shipped across the sea to the queens, but maybe Rhys was being proactive.

He sent me with another a letter to mail, and to check to see the queens have responded. Mostly since the Archeron sisters had no means to tell us if they had received one. He also sent me because a familiar face would be welcome.

I watched as Karlene made her way up the long drive to the manor. I could have landed there and asked her, not bothering to squeeze inside the house. Nesta was in there and I wanted to bug her.

I landed next to the door, and right as Karlene entered her house, the house keeper opening both doors for her entrance, so easily I slipped in too.

No one noticed, not even Karlene. Karly, Feyre had called her. And she was desperately love with another male. She didn't act like a love fool, like Elain had. Feyre had teased her little sister, but it really was a tease for Rhysand.

Who had also asked me to get a report of the male, to see what he looked like, how he acted. For personal curiosity. Really it was to see if the Archeron sisters had a type.

One of the people on their staff took Karlene's bag from her and she trudged up the stairs. I followed, careful with the art that had been hung on the walls. All of them were of flowers and landscapes, completely beautiful things that Feyre would love.

Karlene opened her bedroom door and closed it, too quick for me to get inside. I knocked only a second later. She didn't move to open it right away.

She opened the door and didn't see a thing. I was invisible, thanks to Armen. "Karlene, it's me." I whispered.

She opened the door wider and stepped to the side. As soon as the door shut again, the invisible charm or whatever Armen had done disappeared. Same as when we visited the whole family a few weeks ago.

"What can I help you with?" Karlene asked, sternly. A quick whiff of her told me she had been close to a male recently. Easy bait if I wanted to piss her off.

"Early start? Or late night?" I asked, not really caring the answer.

"I'm not in the mood. The queens haven't written back." She held out a hand. I stared at it.

"You just want another letter, no conversation, no kissing up." I chuckled. It was strange how similar yet wholly different she was from each sister. As if she was a perfect combination of each, or what bits of them I had learned about so far.

She put her hands on her hips, but her movements were tense. I sensed no fear from her so there had to be something else, "I said I'm not in the mood." She shifted again, and a small part of her face tensed, no winced at the movement.

"What happened to you?" I stepped closer, and damn her she didn't move back.

"You said yourself, I had an early start." She gazed up at me, fake interest making her face into an even faker smile. What a treat she would be at the court of nightmares. I poked her in the side, and a sucked in breath answered.

"I thought this male loved you, why would he bruise you all over."

"He didn't do it while having sex. Goodness, Cassian. He was trying to teach me a bit of self-defense. I'm just terrible at it."

I raised an eyebrow as she laid herself into the chaise. "Truly?"

"Yes, and if you hurt him, I will kill you." She vowed.

I titled my head at the threat, at the lack of fear in her eyes, her scent. She was either a very good liar or she was telling the truth. And she threatened like Feyre, like Nesta. I might have to fly by his house to see.

"If you want proof, the snow behind his house is more than churned up. You'll have to figure where it is though. I won't set you on any of them." She pulled a blanket gracefully over herself.

"My, my," I sat on the edge of her bed. "I thought you would be hounding me about that Fae healing book you asked for." Her eyes brightened at that. "I have a few questions first." Her interest fell into annoyance.

"Will your questions be about how Rhysand can win Feyre's heart, or how you can get under Nesta's skin?" She smiled, innocently again.

"Karlene, I am more interested in this perfect male your sister said you were with."

She shook her head. "I won't tell you about him. My sister trusts you, and I trust you with myself, but not them."

"Them?" I pressed. She ground her teeth. Better she learns not to slip up here.

"Tremaine does not live alone." She answered.

"Tell me about him, only him." I commanded and chucked one of the books onto the head of the bed. It was a fat book, and Rhysand had sent me with three volumes.

"Tremaine is poor compared to what we are now, and so he always brings me, Elain, and Nesta handpicked flowers. They are pitiful compared to the bouquets from the florist, but I like them more. Nesta throws hers away most of the time." She swallowed her nerves. "Tremaine conducts himself in way that makes the world a better place, he doesn't just try to be a good person, to be fair. He always is, decisions to be honorable or not aren't choices for him."

"What does he look like?"

"Why?" She asked, a tinge of fear flooding my nose for the first time.

"For research purposes." I smirked. I flicked another book on to the other.

"He's tall, though not quite as tall as you." She answered. Then quieted.

"Karlene." I growled.

"Well I don't want you to kill him." She threw her hands up in exasperation.

I smirked again. "I promise not to kill him."

"Or any of his family." she said immediately.

"Or any of his family." I parroted.

She stared, hard, as if trying to see if I was lying. Then nodded. "He has ordinary brown hair that is always brushed and clean. Even when he is out in the fields all day. It's impossible. He is in better shape than anyone else in this little town, except when you lot are here. And he has a sickle shaped scar on his back."

"That's it?" I asked.

She lifted an eyebrow and gestured to the pile. I appeared the last book. And I told her that was my last bargaining chip.

"Tremaine has darker skin than Rhysand, but not by much. And he does that half smile thing too." She said. "It's terribly seductive, on Tremaine at least."

I huffed a laugh. I wondered if Nesta had noticed all of this too. I wondered if she was in the house, and I could torment her with my own half smile.

"Alright." I flicked my wrist and a letter appeared. "Mail that as soon as possible." I tossed onto the pile of books.

"And how are you going to leave?" She asked politely. The first kind, curious move she made.

I looked at her bay windows. "I sure hope those open."

I disappeared as soon as I rose to leave. Karlene opened the windows, in case someone was watching below. And I squeezed through. When the beat of my wings sounded she closed the window and gave a half-hearted wave towards the window.

The Archeron sisters were certainly not what I expected of humans.


	4. Chapter 4: The High Lord's Visit

**Chapter 4: The High Lord**

 **Rhysand:**

It was selfish of me to go Karlene. It wasn't even her I wanted to really see. I wanted to get to know Feyre's sisters so there might be a future, however brief between us. Karlene, though she wanted to help in the healing tents, did not want to go to Velaris or even see anything above the wall. Elain couldn't, not with her terrible fiancée, and Nesta simply would not.

I had to know if it was fear guiding these decisions or hate. I had to know if Feyre's heart was to be broken long before they died of old age. I was glad, when I knocked on the door, that humans could smell nervousness.

Nesta threw the door open and looked for someone. There is no one for her to see. She settled back so I could enter without suspicion. The staff in the room looked around at each other, as if they couldn't imagine why Nesta would want to open the door herself.

"I'm going to my room, I don't want to be disturbed." She said to the amassed grouping of people, like they were having so sort of meeting. A bad time to come then. One of them nodded and commented that it would be so. The rest turned back to whatever they were doing.

I followed up to her room, where I could appear and ask her where Karlene was. Not that I was trying to be petty, but Nesta was my least favorite sister. Though it would be more likely that Karlene and Elain were actually doing something. Nesta had also made it clear that Elain was to have nothing to do with Fae. She didn't want to risk her relationship with the male who hated Fae. How anyone as sweet as Elain could love someone so full of hate would be beyond me.

"You could just drop the letter off on the front step. I doubt the queens will ever respond." Nesta said when her door was firmly shut. She crossed to the stoke the fire.

"I can spare a few minutes to talk, to make sure." I tried to calm my hate for her. "Where is Karlene?"

"Out." Nesta said sharply. "Why, am I not good enough for you?" She didn't bother to smile at her own joke. Only flatly glared at me.

"I have a few more medical books for her. And I had some questions. I suppose I'll have to come back again soon." I threatened. Nesta and Cassian were a brewing mess, but I doubted that Nesta didn't look forward to the days when it was Cassian who came. Even if they ended up ripping into each other.

"She doesn't have a written schedule, so you'll likely be just as out luck next time." Nesta flopped down in the chaise. "Write your questions down and maybe you'll actually have a response when you come next time." She offered.

"I don't think the questions I have for her would be received well over paper."

"Because they're about Feyre." Nesta raised a brow, not a question.

"Because they are for my own curiosities." I corrected her. I shoved my hands into my pockets, just so I didn't strangle her.

There was a loud bang down stairs, and then various voices echoed through the house to Nesta's hall. She couldn't hear any of it, but from the look on her face she knew the first bang was the door shutting tight against the wind and snow. And the only person not in the house was Karlene.

"I'm not going to get her. I don't particularly want you lot around any of my sisters. You're welcome to try and find her without alerting the whole house to your presence." Nesta smiled slyly. She knew I wouldn't risk it.

"Mail the letter, Nesta." I dropped the letter and the medical books on her bed and made to winnow out of the house.


	5. Chapter 5: The Queens

*This chapter contains copied dialogue from Chapter 40 of Sarah J. Maas's A Court of Mist and Fury.*

 **Chapter 5: The queens meeting**

 **Mor:**

Cassian was in a mood this morning. He kept trying to provoke Feyre's sister's into fighting him. Mostly the eldest one. Nesta, didn't give him much. Only a stony expression. Karlene was the only welcoming one. While her kindness and steadiness immediately told me that she was the littlest sister, she also had that quiet intensity, a hope that the other two did not have. Elain, perhaps, did not know that she needed hope.

All four of the Archeron's were gorgeous, divertingly so. Trapped in giant dresses of tulle and gossamer but striking. I wasn't surprised that Cassian was so distracted.

I looked back and forth between my court and the clock. Those I remembered would not be so insulting to the Fae by being even a second late. The clock gave the first two rings, then they appeared.

They were still a variety of ages and appearances. That had always been so important to them, to have the views of the next generation represented, but the also the experience of the two before it. There was barely a resemblance, barely a whisper of the queens before, but the golden haired one. She practically sang of my lover before. In her appearance only, because her expression was closed, her movements haughty.

I had worked closely with the human front of the war last time. My presence here was for authentication, not main negotiator. I stood to the side of couch, by the table that housed my drink while Rhys and Feyre began introductions.

So many guards for five people, but queens who didn't underestimate us. Easy enough to kill flick of a hand, but they were very close to those very human sisters. I noted that Elain had been shoved between Karlene and Nesta. Fascinating that they protected her, and not the little one.

Rhys said my name and I turned fully back to the queens and the conversation.

"Morrigan, the Morrigan from the War." One of them said in awe. I bowed.

"Please-sit." I took a spot to the right of Feyre, Rhys on her left.

The queens sat in coordination of each other. Their giant dresses were smoothed in one matching motion as well.

The golden haired one, looked up past us, "I assume those are our hosts."

Feyre shifted, unsettled with their attention, with the guards attention all on her sisters. "My sisters," Feyre said in a tone that ended further question.

"An emissary wears a golden crown. Is that tradition in Prythian?" The question was to Rhys, whatever he wrote in those letters, it likely was more heartfelt than any other official letter asking for aid.

Careful Rhys, I thought, "No," his voice less powerful that it could have been, "but she certainly looks good enough in one that I can't resist."

Feyre began her pleading. She did not lie, didn't tell them anything other than the truth, but their faces. It was like they had already decided. The conversation carried. There was little to do, but it was quickly going downhill. My plans of convincing them stopped when one of them said, "This territory, is a slip of land compared to the continent. It is not in our interests to defend it. It would be a waste of resources."

Not acceptable.

Rhys pushed them, carefully with his words, but still their minds were made up. Nesta had just opened her mouth when I heard screaming from far away outside. There was a roaring in my head, so I hadn't noticed the shouting until just now.

Nesta was pissed. "We have servants here. With families. There are _children_ in these lands. And you mean to leave us all in the hands of the Fae?" On that last word the screaming from outside smacked the front door in knocks that sounded like a battering ram. Then one word rose above the crying of several people. _Karlene_.

Karlene instantly started forward, towards the door. Before she could even cross to the couch we were on, a guard pushed a hand in front of her to stop her progress.

"There is an emergency." She hissed at the guard. That glare she gave him was full of emotion, but there was not an ounce of fear. Cassian sauntered up to her side, but the guard did not back down.

"We said no guests." One of the queens chirped.

"It is not a guest." Karlene spit. "It is an injured person. Or do you already not care about their lives?"

No one said a thing. Karlene, this girl Feyre had made out to be kind and sweet and hardworking was insulting queens.

The banging continued, and still the guard did not move. Karlene shoved under the guard's arm and ran for the door. Cassian stopped the one closest from grabbing her again. From a signal from the queens no stopped or followed her.

"You let common people into your home without invitation?" One queen drawled.

"My sister is a healer with a large heart. Normally they do not come to the house, but if there is an emergency and it is faster to bring them here, then yes. She offers medical treatment." Nesta said with distaste, whether it was aimed at Karlene or the queens I wasn't sure.

There was long beat of silence before Feyre said, "For all that that your kind hate ours," she paused thinking how not to dig ourselves a bigger hole, "You'd leave the Fae to defend your people?"

My mind was roaring with very few thoughts. How could they abandon their people, and how could they be the descendants of those brilliant queens and kings?

How, how, how?

Did we do this? Our injustice to the humans sparked such hate, inspire such fear? Were they truly cruel queens? No, they just couldn't be. There had to be some other factor. You don't abandon people because it is too hard or costly to save them.

Feyre continued her pleading, her fight. But they did not budge, did not listen.

"That's enough," I found myself saying. I stood. If they would listen, if they did care. "I am the Morrigan. You know me. What I am. You know that my gift is truth. So, you will hear my words now, and know them as truth. As your ancestors once did." I stared right at that golden queen. Let her know that it was her I spoke to, loved most.

I moved in front of Feyre and Rhys. "Do you think it is any simple coincidence that a human has been Made immortal again, at the very moment when our enemy resurfaces? I fought side by side with Miryam in the War, fought beside her as Jurian's ambition and bloodlust drove him mad, and drove them apart. Drove him to torture Clythia to death, then battle Amarantha until his own." I sucked in a breath. The images splayed in my mind, infested it with blood and screams. "I marched back into the Black Land with Miryam to free the slaves left in that burning sand, the slavery she had herself escaped. The slaves Miryam promised to return to free. I marched with her-my friend. Along with Prince Drakon's legion. Miryam was my friend, as Feyre is now. And your ancestors, those queens who signed that treaty… They were my friends, too. And when I look at you" I curled my lip, trying to reign in the insults. "I see nothing of those women in you. When I look at you, I know that your ancestors would be ashamed. You laugh at the idea of peace? That we can have it between our two peoples? There is an island in a forgotten, stormy part of the sea. A vast, lush island, shielded from time and spying eyes. And on that island, Miryam and Drakon still live. With their children. with both of their peoples. Fae and human and those in between. Side by side. For five hundred years, they have prospered on that island, letting the world believe them dead-"

"Mor," Rhys growled. I had lost myself, said more than I meant.

Thankfully Karlene slipped back in at that moment. She smelled like blood, and hadn't bothered to change from her dress that now bore stains of it. The hem was soaked, and small splatters covered the rest, including her face.

The guards straightened but didn't move as Karlene went to her spot beside Elain. The queens were silent. Then one said, "Bring us proof that peace exists." Right after another who looked at Karlene with disgust asked, "What happened?"

Karlene's face was serene, she leveled a calculated look at the queen who straightened. "There was an accident. A child fell off a roof. If his father hadn't jumped between him and the table saw the child would be dead, but the father lost his arm. I stopped the bleeding and sewed the wound up. Don't worry though, I sent them on their way."

"Then you would be a good asset to the war if you can so quickly patch people up. I suggest you change out of your finery before you do that, however." The eldest queen said with a smirk. I felt the next comment before Karlene even opened her mouth.

"You're right, your majesty," Karlene drawled with thick sarcasm. "The blood of innocents is so hard to wash away."

The queens looked affronted, all of them. Good.

Rhys said then, before Karlene could think of any more comments to add to this shitstorm. "I will get the proof for you and send word for you to come back here."

"We will not be summoned." The elder queen spat.

"Then come at your leisure." Rhys rolled his eyes, or wanted to. I didn't turn to see if he actually did. The guards started forward. Cassian smirked. I fought one of my own. "Then you will see how giving us the book will be promising for both our efforts."

"After there is proof, we might reconsider." The golden haired one smiled sardonically. "We don't really plan on giving it up after five hundred years, so the evidence will have to be very moving." The queens vanished.

Raging bitches.

Everyone let out a large sigh.

Elain whispered to Karlene, "I hope they all burn in hell."

Of course, we all heard it. Maybe Feyre's sisters weren't the pert and pretty dolls as she painted them to be.

Karlene is seemed could not get out of the blood-stained dress without someone unclipping it for her. Cassian volunteered to assist her in any way she needed, after an explanation of why she hadn't changed. They indeed slipped out of the room together. Elain and Nesta were rearranging the tea and cups while Rhys was trying to encourage and compliment Feyre.

Shitty what I'd said, done.

Azriel sidled closer and pressed a hand to my back.

"Let's go clean up the blood down stairs." He offered. And talk about what just happened was the unspoken other half.

I nodded and followed the scent to the pool of blood. Tools were in the sink, bandages unrolled, the corners wet and red. The way the chairs were positioned, they held the man down. I went about magically vanishing the blood, while Azriel picked up the tools to wash them.

"Was it seeing their faces or their lack of help?" Azriel asked lightly.

I thought about it, not speaking for a long while. "It was that they were giving up on the people here, and no ruler should do that, and knowing the vision and hopes the past queens had for the future of humans made their crimes even worse."

Heavy footsteps sounded then the door to this little room opened.

"Oh," Karlene said, in a plain and much shorter dress. "Thank you, but you didn't have to do that."

"You didn't have to spit insults at those monsters either, but here we are." I smiled.

Karlene blushed and looked away. "I am sorry." She opened a cabinet and started to put the tools Az had washed and now dried away.

"You would make a better queen than any of them." Az said quietly.

Karlene smiled a bit at that, then her bashfulness faded. Her breathing increased, whatever she was about to do would be interesting, "Well that's good then," she declared. She crossed to the table and plucked up a few more things, giving me a look that begged me to play along.

"Alright," I sighed, "Why is that a good thing?"

Karlene turned away, hiding the top half of her body behind the cabinet door. "Well, everyone says I'm most like Feyre. And Feyre is going to be a queen, isn't she?"

"There are no queen's in Prythian." Az said carefully.

"But there are High Lords, and there is one I know who is desperately in love with my sister." Karlene turned back to gage our reaction. I gave nothing away, which said something.

"Are you talking about Tamlin?" I asked.

A blink of confusion. "No."

"I think you should keep your observations to yourself." I warned.

"You don't have sisters, do you?" Karlene asked, her scheming tone gone. She was back to the polite healer.

"I am an only child." I looked for something to do, but there was nothing.

Karlene opened the flap to the trash can. She looked sadly into it. Flesh sat at the top. She closed her eyes in silent thought.

"I think you'll find my relationship with Feyre is one where we don't keep secrets. When we have time to catch up again, we will share all the intimate details of her absence. So, no, if she asks what I think of Rhysand I will tell her exactly what I think." Karlene squatted and grabbed the trash around the bottom and-

"I'll do that." Az sputtered. Karlene tried to push past him, but he took the whole thing from her. It was heavy and her mortal body was not wanting that burden so he yanked it from her grip too easily.

She gave him a glare, but then instructed, "over the hill, to the south. You should be able to smell it from here."

"Feyre is one of my best friends." I started tentatively. "I would like to be friends with you too."

Karlene looked at me, her eyes were so sad. "I would like that, but I think it would be a short friendship."

"We will protect you, so you can live out your whole life. It won't be as short as you think." I pressed my lips together.

Karlene nodded before thanking me and heading away.


	6. Chapter 6: The High Lord Again

**Chapter 6: The High Lord Again**

 **Karlene:**

It had been a luxury to have these past weeks. The calm before the storm. The catabolic nature of war was in effect already. Tremaine had begun sneaking into my room every night. It was winter and there was little for him to do in the fields. So, some days, he stayed all night and long into the day. Most of the staff was gone, only the cook and few who cleaned up after my sisters and me.

It was a lazy morning. Neither Tremaine nor I had much to do. The markets were had not gotten a new shipment of things since the snow had first fallen, it was easy to justify staying in bed all day.

Tremaine's hands were incredibly warm, as they rubbed down my back. I had a nightgown on and thick socks, but it was still so cold.

I slipped from the bed and made to stoke the fire. It was only embers, but adding a couple of logs it started to rise again. Thankfully, since I had no kindling in my room.

"Kars," Tremaine called. Reaching for me. His dark skin seemed to glow in the morning light. Somehow he was comfortable enough without a shirt even in the middle of winter. I pulled on pants and chucked my nightgown to the ground, and quickly pulled a very thick sweater over my head before the cold caused me to freeze.

I slipped back under the covers, warmer this time. Tremaine banded his arms around me and kissed the top of my head lazily.

"My love." He murmured. A lazy, silly morning indeed.

I twisted until I lay my cold hands on his bare chest. He squirmed away from me. Making some comment about how mean I was to him when he was nothing but sweet.

He pulled me to him again, and we laid twisted together long enough for me to fall back asleep.

Of course, it couldn't have been a lazy day. Nesta pounded on my door, jolting me awake. Without waiting for a response, she flung the door open, wide, for all to see. Tremaine rolled off the bed, looking for anywhere to hide, but it was too late. Nesta shut the door with a terrible click. That moment Rhysand appeared.

"What are you doing?" Nesta hissed.

"Being very suddenly woken up." I bit back.

Nesta gave Tremaine a once over. I wanted to whip look right off her face, but I sat calmly on the bed. "Rhysand, what can I do for you?" I had told Tremaine about my sister being Fae, about Rhysand and the others. I hadn't told him that they had been making frequent stops. I also had not told him that Rhysand was so…large.

Tremaine gapped at him. My sisters had taught me how to keep my emotions in check, but Tremaine had never had the need for that, and now. Tremaine sat next to me on the bed. More like fell onto the bed.

"You know, I believed you. But I didn't think that… I just..." He mumbled, more to himself.

I patted his knee, lightly. "Rhysand, this is Tremaine."

Rhysand untucked his hands from his pockets and offered one to Tremaine. "A pleasure."

"Same, your lordship."

Rhysand shook his head. "I don't use my title around family and friends." He turned his attention on me. "I wanted to talk you about helping with healing."

Nesta crossed her arms, as if daring Rhysand to make an offer.

"I don't think there is a way we could guarantee your safety, until you won't be the only human. Once the fighting spills into these lands, then you won't be so alienated, and so targeted."

"You don't want me healing the Fae because they will prey on me?" I asked dubiously.

Rhysand nodded. "My inner court members are very different from most Fae, and very powerful too. They will be needed on the fields and will do more good there. There is also no one else I trust with your safety."

I sighed. "Did Feyre put you up to this?"

Rhysand shook his head again. Tremaine's hand slid behind my back in comfort. Not that I wanted to see bloody and dying people, no matter their race. I wanted to help, though.

"Well if you decided, who am to argue with a high lord." I deadpanned.

Rhysand dropped another medical book on to my desk. I had only gotten through half of the ones already delivered. They came by almost every week and brought a book or two every time. Even with my mostly emptied schedule, I was struggling to keep up. I supposed I shouldn't try too hard. After the war I'd be lucky to get a book once a year. Who would bother to come all the way down here to deal with Nesta? Or to watch us age, not so slowly?

I heaved a huge a sigh. We are so small and terribly finite compared to them. Maybe the Wall was a good thing, after all it protected us from predation that Rhysand and Feyre think is more than probable.

"Karlene, I am sorry. We would be happy to have you with us once there are more humans to make you less of a novelty." Rhysand offered again.

But even with the letters Tremaine and I were writing, the queens were coming with a force, and I doubted anyone would bother. It would only be Rhysand and whatever other courts to protect us and it just wasn't fair or right.

"I'm sure you always do what you think is right." I sighed again and leaned back into the bed. I did not have to prepare for war, it wouldn't be until the Wall came down that I could help. I didn't have prepare to be spirited off into the night by Azriel and landing in the middle of city of tents before he left me to go fight. Or maybe Feyre would be the one who came to get me. Rhysand loved her so much, and had been training her, but would she fight, would he let her. I know Tremaine would tie me down before he let me pick up a sword by choice. If I needed to, it would be different, but I hadn't been trained either.

"Rhysand," I started, bringing my thoughts to the front of my mind. "Is Feyre going to fight?"

"If she feels comfortable enough to." He answered, amused.

"You don't expect her to though." I stated.

He shook his head. "Feyre has been training for only a few months, I think she will believe herself a liability in ranks so close, for so long. There are many types of battles, and if it isn't line against line, I believe she will fight. I also believe that she be helping wherever she believes she will be the most useful."

"So, if I was there, she could help me with healing, and protect me." I argued.

"It is a possibility that I will bring up to her. We have collected the object the queens want, and so this will be the last letter, hopefully." He answered. "If there's anything else?"

I shook my head. What an odd male. He was so, so in love with Feyre, and yet he didn't bother to say anything. Even when she was falling in love with him. It makes me want to scream. Normally I didn't care for any of sister's love interests, but Rhysand seemed genuinely good. He was the type of male to always put my sister first, to make sure she was happy.

When I didn't respond to him, he added, "We will be preparing for the war in the camps, someone you don't recognize will come and check if the queens responded every other day. They won't come into the house though, meet them in the northern woods, just barely after the trees start. You be able to see their foot prints." He said the words to Nesta who nodded. Nesta who hadn't walked through the snow all winter. Tremaine suppressed a snort too, as if he knew Nesta had not braved the snow yet.

"Thank you, Rhysand." I said with a nod at the book. Even if I was grateful for all of it, even the nasty pieces I didn't know about.


	7. Chapter 7: The Queens Again

**Chapter 7: The Queens Again**

 **Karlene:**

The queens' response came not-so quickly after Rhysand's last letter. It had been about a month since their last visit. I was eager for another chance to convince the queens, even if I wouldn't really be the one talking, much.

I was also eager to begin healing more fully. For many reasons, my patients had all but stopped. I was eager to use the notebook of new techniques and lists of herbs I wanted to try in new ways. It was like I had only been given the smallest glance at the medical world compared all that the Fae knew of healing. It burned my heart that I was considered a full healer, the most popular in the village, but knew so little compared to what a Fae healer would know. Even without touching the subject of magically healing.

Feyre had not come back to see me, but she certainly was in a rare mood. In love, I supposed. I wondered if I stared at Tremaine whenever we were together. More than that I wondered if we would both survive this war. Feyre and her court would sweep me and my sisters off to their territory before it got too bad. Tremaine would not leave his family; his family would not leave their extended family and their friends. If Tremaine was invited by Rhysand to his court, he would have to take half the territory with him.

Cassian and Nesta were especially pissy at each other.

Mor had whispered something to me about not insulting the queens if I could help it.

Two queens winnowed in, as Mor had called it last time. Two of six. They were not going to help us, they were not going give us the book. They would share this rear secret and the queen would not help. They would grow in the power of long unknown secrets while we fought a war and died.

They began talking, but I had no desire for the conversation. I had no hope for a positive end to this war. It was likely that Nesta, Elain and I would be the last three humans free on this continent. The king didn't want to just slaughter us, he wanted to enslave us.

If I was a slave, would they let me heal the workers or would I be beat and worked to death, forced to give up sleep and precious resources to help others. Would I kill myself before that happened? Would Tremaine be there with me, because they held humans for centuries before they would want offspring? Would I let myself want offspring if we were forced into such a situation? Our lives were ending, one way or another we couldn't go back to how it was. If nothing else changed, Feyre would still go so far north, we would always have the wall between us. No, my life as a simple healer, as a little sister was over.

My heart broke, just sunk down and down.

I had no hope.

I had no desire for the end of this story. I would not get the happy ending I wanted, not even close.

The orb that was Veritas glowed and from my view I could not see the city that my sister now loved. That was to be some great bargaining chip. I also could not make out a picture because my eyes had filled with tears.

Nesta's voice smothered my self-pity. I felt eyes snap to her, then slide across to Elain, to me, then back to Nesta as her verbal assault brought her lurching forward towards the queens.

And they refused her. Nesta was crying and saying please. And still she did not move them, did not break them.

And Cassian, he, he wiped her tears away. They were much too close for formalities sake, but then he swore loyalty to Nesta and to all the humans. He swore to die before he let something happen to any human. The tears spilled over.

I was about to open my mouth, but I found nothing I thought to say. There was nothing I wanted to say to these heathen queens, to failures of rulers, to selfish puffed up horrors. Nothing but insults it seemed. My mind had to be somewhere else today. I kept thinking of horrific things to shout at them for letting us all here to die or worse, when they rose and vanished. Bitches.

Mor let out a nasty swear that I agreed with. Then something whispered, too creepy to be human, too old.

 _Hello, to the princess of love._

 _Hello, littlest one._

 _How sweet, how kind, but not scared. So different. A breed of all three sisters mixed into one._

 _Hello, will you heal me soon? Make me whole? Will you read me?_

 _The mixed one so pretty. So fierce like the first, like mad oceans your temper._

 _Kindhearted as the second as a healer should be._

 _Capable and cunning as the third to match._

 _High lady to high lady._

Then the book quieted. When it stopped I realized I had stepped around the chairs and had picked it up. Staring and staring as it spoke. As it prophesized.

"Did it talk to you too?" I asked. Quiet too quiet. No one answered me. They were all having a conversation without me. I looked up at them, as everyone was taller than me. The little sister indeed.

"It is your choice to stay or not. You can come with us. You've done the math about the evacuation. Should you stay here, there will be soldiers here within the hour. If not, I suggest you get packing." Rhysand said kindly, hard words to say, but he was kind about it.

Nesta's eyes filled with tears once more, then she turned to Elain. Who was twisting and twisting her iron engagement ring. Then looked at me and said, "It's your choice."

But I had already decided. I would help during the war, but I would not leave Tremaine and Elain, who would not come unless we dragged her. I weighed my choices, my priorities once more, quickly this time, but came up with the same answer.

"I will help when the fighting starts, help heal." I clarified, "but leaving before then feels wrong."

The book was clucking softly at my answer.

Rhysand plowed on, unaware of the books noise. "Should you change your mind, before the first battle, there will be a sentries waiting in this room at noon and midnight every day. Your home is my home. Its doors are always open to you."

The stars and night suited Feyre. The dark and unendingness of it perfect for her. Nesta seemed to agree as she mentioned that old dresser. Flames and Flowers and night and water.

Feyre had painted water on it for me for two reasons. One was that I was terrified to swim, she had tried to teach me a hundred times, but I refused to get within several feet of the swimming hole, the other was that water was so important to healing. Without water there were few things you do in healing.

Tremaine slipped in through the window, as he had been doing more and more often. Nesta wouldn't let us have an office to ourselves, thinking we would do something uncuffed. I also couldn't bring myself to tell her that we were planning resistance for our village, for the whole of human lands.

Tremaine had begun spending the night, but before when there was nothing to do, now it was usually because he was too exhausted to climb down the trellis and it was just as easy for him to sneak out with the dawn.

He laid out maps and numbers. Other than healing, I had an odd talent for seeing things become organized, putting steps in order to create the most efficiency, things like that. Tremaine would be the one who raise this militia and his father to lead it, but I would run behind the scenes. Starting with the funding, and then the recruitment.

We were close to having a tangible result. Tonight, we would mostly be keeping up with our correspondence.

 _Dear Miss Archeron,_

 _I am frightened by your threats, and while my advisors all claim you are nothing but a scared girl, the detail you provided gives me nothing but fears as well. Whether you are lying or not, whether these are fact or fiction, I have increased my guard and the those for the city walls. I will not be issuing an order for my people to seek shelter in the wall, as you yourself claimed that the fighting could be a way off. They need to tend their fields, but if the fighting waits until the winter, I will open my very home._

 _Thank you for your warnings, I would like more updates as time progresses._

 _Your sincerely,_

 _Lord Barrington of the Westland's_

 _P.S. How much longer must I call you_ Miss. _I would delight in courting you. I would write to elder sister about it, but I will heed your decision until after this war._

I read the letter to Tremaine, skipping the bottom part. He considered it with a tilt of his head, eyes unfocused.

"He likes that you scare him." Tremaine sighed at last.

"It's hardly me who he likes, you wrote more of the letter than I." I reached for his hands. Even sprawled across the bed, he managed to keep some distance. Some probity since we weren't working to be quiet. Let Nesta or Elain storm in on us and demand we were going to fall to temptations. Not when, even in my nightgown and laying on a bed as we were. But the yelling that would create was not worth the product that might come from them believing us.

Also, I would be guilty if I didn't admit that we hadn't already been intimate many times before we even had this manor. It was the urgency of the war that kept us well-mannered now.

And without the queens help in an evacuation or soldiers, someone had to do something. Very many people even knew something was coming, so we could at least warn them a bit, it would be better than nothing.

If people knew to hide, rather than announce their presence when the Fae came marching in, maybe the armies wouldn't be bothered to hunt for them in the trees. They would let them go if they weren't directly in the way of their destination, but the humans had know that they needed to hide for that to work.

As much as it seemed fruitless, there was the ash trees and that would be better than nothing. But Cassian hadn't even hissed at the ash stake when I had tried to threaten him with it. Either it was because of his training or humans were so pathetic that even when they wielded ash, they didn't scare them. I prayed it was his training. If only so all this work wouldn't be for nothing.

Nesta and Elain might be content to sit on their asses, but I couldn't. I never could. Feyre had dragged me into the woods to pick herbs because doing nothing was killing me. Only I had been too scared to go into the woods, another reason the healing part had been much more appealing.

How different the four of us were.

"Kars," Tremaine opened another letter and handed it to me.

The healer had taught me how to read medical texts, and my sisters' words and diction made learning the eloquent words much easier than I expected. Like knowing words before you could recognize them made reading them easier later. Tremaine was a fine reader, but he spoke with a soldier's diction, and with a much lower education even though he learned how to read at a proper age.

 _Dear Miss Archeron,_

 _I regret to inform you that while our courts believe your cries, if the queens have not taken action, there is little we can do. There is nothing that, as a poor farm county, we can do. We will send riders out to warn the people, and the ash daggers you offered will be welcome, but we have only ten guards in our employ. If war is coming, it is my hope it skates over us._

 _With much appreciation,_

 _The Whitemarsh county._

"Not as good," I sighed and laid down, crinkling papers beneath me.

"Everyone has believed us though." He reached across the pile of papers and stroked my cheek.

"but they are right, and there is nothing we can do to stop it, to mitigate the effects. We have to let them blaze through the territory and pray they don't raze it." My voice raised as I spoke.

"I love you Kars." Tremaine tossed the papers on the floor, one after another. Then pulled me into his arms.

"I love you too." I whispered.

I woke up with cold shooting through me. Tremaine was just slinking out the window. Maybe we could get married without Nesta's approval. After my eighteenth birthday in a few months.


	8. Chapter 8: Noon and Midnight

**Chapter 8: Noon and Midnight.**

 **Karlene:**

Nesta stood in the room where we had hosted the meeting with the queens. Shouting in the middle of the night. I padded into the room on her rebuff.

"I told you that there was no need for this. We leave when they need Karlene to help with the healing." She hissed at the male. Male because, gods they were huge. How they had gotten in without knocking everything off the walls…

"Nesta, he is doing his job. Go back to bed." I ordered. But Nesta was wearing normal clothes, not a nightgown.

She let out a sick laugh, but retreated towards the door.

"Thank you for protecting us. I'm sorry that Nesta is like that. She's scared is all."

The male merely bowed his head.

"I know that our food isn't very good, but are you or any of the others hungry?"

"We fare well enough with the abundance in the forest." He said coolly.

Right, they hunted prey so easily, likely without need of weapons. Other than themselves.

"Alright," I said and patted my hands on my thighs. "I guess I'll go back to bed too, unless there is anything else you need."

"We were not expecting the temperance to be so low, do you have extra blankets, just for the night. After that we will have our own."

"Of course, Let me put on some slippers, the floors are cold at night." I tiptoed back to my room. Slipped on giant socks and real shoes, grabbed a thick robe so I didn't feel so exposed. The male was waiting in the hallway, next to the meeting room. He had not followed me down the hall, but his size was enough to make me feel cornered.

"You are the healer?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, though I'm sure with magic healing, you all would fare better without me." I smiled despite the tension. He didn't respond to that. "The blankets are in this closet." I opened the door and pulled out a fat stack of them.

He thanked me, took them, and before I could ask if he wanted more, disappeared. Just turned back into invisible.

At every noon and midnight after that Nesta shouted at the male. We hadn't planned to send the servants away, but it became clear that for their safety and the safety of the Fae protecting us, they had to go. The hall and rooms were colder without someone constantly making them warm, but Tremaine still often slipped into my bed after my sisters had fallen asleep.

The chateau slowly became more and more isolated from the world, less people came to request healing, and as our small force grew, I saw the Fae more than Tremaine.

It was very late, and Elain was making tea. It had been almost two weeks since the Rhysand had told us he wouldn't be back for a while.

I wished I hadn't found their company so enjoyable. We were not meant to be friends or even know each other. It was a whole bunch of freak incidents that had to this, or maybe it was some higher power that wanted to mess with everyone's lives.

Nesta stood at the bay windows in the main parlor, surveying the melting snow. Spring was hesitant to come. We were already in our nightclothes, ready for bed as soon as we finished our tea.

"Karly," Nesta said and pointed to the yard. I rose to look at whatever it was. There were giant foot prints scrapping and turning the melting snow up. Like some invisible forces were fighting.

From the light on the lamps that lined the walk up to our house, it was easy to see the red splattered everywhere. The blood that splattered across the snow, then one by one the giant bodies of the Illyrians that had been guarding us, appeared. Throats slashed, stomachs torn open, all of them dead.

I whirled on my heel, "Elain!" I screamed. "Elain, hide." I ran for the kitchen, were she would undoubtedly be. I bolted across the empty expanse that was our entry way, but a strong force that I couldn't see banded around me. I thrashed and kicked screaming for Elain.

A cold, malicious voice ordered me to stop fighting, and for some reason I did. The world squeezed into shadows and fog and I couldn't breathe. The world twisted and rushed forward until I was in a new place. A place that I knew I would not walk out of.


	9. Chapter 9: Captured

*Some dialog is directly from Sarah J. Maas's A Court of Mist and Fury.*

 **Chapter 9: Captured**

 **Karlene:**

The floor was cold, against my bare legs. They pressed us into the floor, not moving even an inch away. A holding room of some sort, but they had only given me a gag. Reminding us yet again how small and pointless our lives where in comparison. I knew that when the red hit the snow.

The world darkened before me and I was in this room. Only moments later, Nesta appeared with her own guard, and a heartbreaking second before Elain was thrown to the ground before both of us.

It really damn cold in this white castle. They would not let me hold Elain or Nesta's hand. As if comfort alone was dangerous. I told myself I didn't care. I told myself Feyre was coming. I told myself a lot until the throne room opened before me and I had to tell myself new things.

Feyre was already here. Thrashing against her guards. Rhysand, and the others. I took in each. There was nothing I could do for Azriel, not from here and not without supplies. His own magical healing would be better than my prodding. Feyre was angry at the one in green. The other High Lord. The pain in each of their eyes was almost enough for me to lose my composure. A good healer knew how to make tears disappear.

The king spoke, explaining to the human queens what was going to happen. Explaining the bargain Ianthe had made for the priestesses. Then his speech paused just enough. Cassian lunged to us. But I was watching Feyre, and the golden High Lord.

I screamed her name through the gag, every thought on the impending tackle he would have her in. Feyre tossed a knife at him and he dove out of the way. But Cassian screamed, then Mor. My body felt out of place, distant.

"Ladies, Eternity awaits. Prove to the majesties that the Cauldron is safe for…strong willed individuals." The king crooned.

"No." I said loudly, but calm. The gag didn't stifle my intent.

"Excuse me," the king pressed. I had not expected him to acknowledge my word. A guard undid the gag at a gesture from the king.

"I see no reason why you need three." My whole mind froze on the next word, but I forced it out anyway, "volunteers."

"It's just more fun this way." He gestured to my guards holding me. I didn't dare look to Feyre or the others for help. If they saw the desperation, the fear I knew I couldn't hide. I would scar them. I fought as hard as I could against the guards, but the lip of the Cauldron was close. Too close, then my feet went in.

"She's not breathing—

"Her ears are pointed—

"Don't touch her—

"Is she dead though?" Words coursed around my head then pain shot through my middle and I coughed water out. The High Lord of Spring leaned over me. I coughed the Cauldron water right into his face. I quickly sat up. The human queens had to see I was okay. There only needed to be one demonstration. My sisters would not follow me into that watery hell, but my legs were weaker than I'd like, and the ground was slick. I would have fallen if not for the High Lord. His baldric was packed with weapons, and I slid one against the flat of my wrist before letting go of his steading grip. I shot him a glare. My nightgown was too sheer to begin with, but with it soaked I was practically naked.

"The next one." Elain was ripped from Nesta. Feyre fell to the ground in pile of her own vomit, Rhysand followed her.

"No!" I screamed it. "No, I proved it works!" The king ignored my screams. "No," my voice broke. And I stalked towards the guards holding Elain. I could only think that I was only one who wasn't restrained, who could help her.

I used the knife to pop a hole in the artery of one their necks, but I could only get the smallest knick on the other before my head was whipped about. My forehead bashed on the rim of the Cauldron and I was thrown backwards where my body let out a wet smack on the white stone. My vision blacked out, but I could hear the screams of Elain and the pleads of the rest of them.

Water pooled around me. Everything was blurry, but I watched as Elain slid on to the floor, like she was being birthed once more.

"Don't just leave her on the floor!" The red head moved on Elain.

"No," I murmured, but knew it was no good.

"The hellcat now, if you'd be so kind." The kings voice was intoxicating and murderous at the same time. I was facing Elain, but I could feel Nesta fighting every step of the way. Pain arched up my spine hotter and worse than anything should have been, and I screamed and screamed for release.

The king's voice filled the hall again and then the pain stopped. I couldn't feel anymore. I could barely see. Then water pooled around me again and my nose was too close, and I sucked some in. I coughed again and there was cruel laughter at that, at me.

Feyre moved then, I could just see her. She started to glow. Brighter and brighter. Then the room went silent. There was yelling again, Feyre was backing from me, no from Rhysand and she was crying. She was carrying all of us again. Our lives were not her responsibility. I opened my mouth, but that was as far as I could get in the way of talking.

A warm hand wrapped around my wrist.

The world swirled once more, and the white stone tiles were replaced by wooden floors.

"Nesta let go of her." A sharp female voice barked. The pressure that I noticed was released around my wrist.

"What's wrong with her?" Nesta shrieked.

"She was tortured you daft-"

"Mor, go get Mala."

"Karly." Elain's face swam before my eyes.

"I'm fine. I just need some rest, right now." Then my eyes closed.


	10. Chapter 10: Velaris

**Chapter 10: Velaris**

How I had lived before being Fae, how did I find purpose in anything I did? I was so infinitely small before, and now I felt the immortality, not just the heightened athleticism, but immortal, unbreakable. I wonder if there was still some higher form of being that made Fae feel as small as humans. Perhaps that what Armen was, before.

Every day I rose from my bed, not sore or half rested, not having tossed and turned. Like my body had settled into what I was meant to be. Like I loved being Fae.

And every night I would force Elain to eat something and tuck her into her bed. I would read to her until my voice grew hoarse. And I hated every bit of suffering and rejection. I hated that she was allowed to fall apart, and I had to keep caring for her. Only because Nesta wouldn't know what do for Elain or for me.

I was at war with myself in every waking moment. Every new sense was brilliant and enlightening, but it also came with my head being bashed and lighting pain lancing up my spine. It came with my sisters suffering, with Feyre's sacrifice. Everything I wanted, the future with Tremaine, my own real apothecary had died. It had died and left me with a new body I wanted so, so badly to love, but I couldn't. It had taken too much to get me this grace, and I wanted to trade it back, to erase the memory of pain. Mostly I just wanted my sisters back.

Because of Elain, because of the war, I shoved it down as far within myself as there was to go. I shoved it down and hoped the war over long before my resolve was worn too thin to keep my despair at bay.

There were things to do.

I awoke the morning after the incident. Azriel, Cassian, and I laid out in large sitting room. Azriel and I were couches, but Cassian was laid on the floor, his wings spread wide across the rugs. Splint like things had decorated them, and it looked more painful than breaking his wings in the first place. My sisters were nowhere to be seen, but Mor, and Rhysand and another short figure, I had yet to be introduced to, were close at hand.

Rhysand and Mor quickly came to my side when I awoke. They offered meaningless phrases and offered to wake my sisters. I, of course, refused.

They led me to the table where they had been chatting, and they poured me tea. I had to walk very carefully. My legs were longer and feet a bit broader. It would be a while before I got use to my new body.

Rhysand actually pushed in my chair for me, as if he knew that such a specific task would be a bit much in a brand new body.

I had taken steps at Hybern, but they fueled with desperation and adrenaline. I hadn't been very successful either. I had killed someone though. I had already tainted this body. My hands had been wiped, but I was far from clean. Pink remnants clung around the beds of my nails and grooves of my knuckles. Not even Fae for one day and I was covered in blood.

"How are you feeling Karlene?" Mor asked kindly.

I tucked my fingers around the tea cup that was set in front of me. Out of sight. "Salubrious," there really wasn't another for it. I felt better physically than I ever had. I would be able to help during the war. I supposed I was better than could be expected.

Mor raised both eyebrows, and looked to Rhysand.

"This is Armen, our second." Rhysand gestured to the shorter figure I had noticed. I studied her for a polite second, but then turned back to my cup of tea.

"The bodies of the Fae at our estate will raise questions." I said, suddenly remembering the house and our servants and Tremaine.

"We have already sent people to clean that up." Mor answered again so softly.

So, there was no chance of sending a letter to Tremaine, not that he wanted anything to do with me. He would have to worry.

"And Feyre is not here." I clarified. Armen growled out the dreaded confirmation. "You just want us to remain in this," I looked around at the rooms and the great drop just beyond the glass doors. "palace, and wait for her?"

"You can explore Velaris if you're interested." Rhysand answered with a gesture to the drop below.

I shook my head. Perhaps he never had a sister vanish from his life so many times.

"Is there anything else?" I asked politely as possible.

"Karlene," Rhysand chided. "I want to feel at home here."

I looked straight into his eyes, like one of Elain's flowers lines and swirls of light purple. "You give me a new home because I will be killed if I return to the other, it's not like there is another option if you want your head attached when Feyre returns."

"Karlene," Rhysand raised his voice above the sickening sweetness they were using. "If you want a different house in the city- "

"It's not about the house, or anything you could give me." I shot back. "It is about my family, they are not here."

"We can bring Tremaine here."

"And his parents, his brother, their cousins, their close friends? Do you really want our village to uproot and move here?" I answered calmly.

"Most likely they would not want to come."

I nodded, and Tremaine will not leave without his family. I didn't really matter. Tremaine being here would not change anything but my piece of mind. I should be grateful we lived, I should be grateful that Cassian and Azriel were healing. I should be on the ground kissing Rhysand's feet for letting us into his house. He could have thrown me and my sisters to the whims of Tamlin.

"I think I'm going to bathe and sleep more. Let me know if you need any help with those two." I pointed to Cassian and Azriel, still passed out and covered in blood.

"I will show you to your room," Armen offered, to the surprise of Rhysand and Mor. I took the cup of tea with me and walked down the halls behind her.

She brought me to a door, which she then stood in front of. "I know you are very upset and confused."

"There isn't much to be confused about except how to walk properly. I had almost spilled my tea a few times.

"You don't have to hide behind your humor or make yourself useful so we won't throw you out. You are Feyre's sister and you will always have a place in this court. I don't like putting things back together, so do not break yourself trying to be strong for the other sisters." Armen stepped away from the door and walked, silently, back down the hall.

I started the bath, but the water too warm, like the Cauldron had been. I drained the bath and turned the faucet to near freezing. The cold froze the sensation on my skin, it didn't feel like water at all. Either from the cold or the feeling of being in water again, I washed quickly.

I sat at the table every day after that. I studied the medical textbooks, I now had an endless supply and I had a dictionary, which had to be greatest invention. I no longer had to admit to Nesta every time I came across a word I didn't know. I asked for help in reading less and less.

It was at the table that the healer Madja set her supplies any time she came to tend to Cassian. Azriel was fine only a day after me. The increased healing was remarkable. I made a point to always be there to watch Madja work. I watched her for my own curiosity as well as concern about Cassian.

Every time Madja came to visit, Mor or Azriel would be there. Usually they would pester Madja about Cassian's recovery or they would push me join Madja in whatever capacity.

I caved at their persistence to apprentice with Majda the first time she offered, only a week after I been turned Fae.

One of these days before I began my apprenticeship, when Rhysand and Mor weren't busy, they walked with me through Velaris. Walked with me on the quieter streets, though the artist quarter, and though the one of the markets when few people were shopping.

They offered quiet commentary about their city, about the place that had withstood so much. They told me things they had done with Feyre and the plans for our next visit.

I loved it. I fully understood how Feyre had come to not just love the city but the male who protected it.

Experiencing Velaris gave me more hope than even Tremaine's pep talks could. I threw myself into the new lessons, so I could do my part in protecting Velaris.

Madja was kind as all healers are. She was also very old. She had even less patience for mistakes than I did. It made me push myself harder than ever before. She gave me reading to do. I was no longer picking through chapters of books chosen by some librarian Rhysand employed to find whatever book matched his whims. I was learning in an ordered way. I was also learning things the right way. Madja was very clear about the three waves of healing in Fae and I was to learn the second one. The most recent was no good, and the first one was too outdated.

Every day Rhysand and Mor saw me adapting and improving, and with war so close they stopped being such frequent figures in my daily life. They always made sure I had a ride from Madja's healing place to the House of Wind, but other than that, they not-so slowly disappeared from House of Wind.

My life was mainly focused on the readings and looking after Cassian and Elain. When I wasn't doing that, I was sleeping or being yelled at by Nesta.

Nesta who couldn't understand how I could function in this place. I couldn't exactly tell her I wanted to curl up next Tremaine and cry for days. So, I yelled at her back. Telling her that we couldn't change a thing and I didn't want to waste my life. She never liked my arguments, laughing at them as she knew how little I believed them too.

Even before Madja and I awoke Cassian, I realized Elain needed more than a good cry and week of constant sleep. Nesta and I stopped arguing about being Fae and started auguring about what was best for Elain. She poked holes in every suggestion I had, but always followed through with them, when I didn't have anything new, she screamed that I was a worthless. It was only her frustrations, but it was hard to come up new things to help Elain when I was certain she only needed time. We all needed time, but Nesta wouldn't let herself come to terms with being Fae until Elain had.


	11. Chapter 11: New Wings and New Friends

**Chapter 11: New Wings and New Friends**

 **Karlene:**

There was a bubble of anxiety and fear, and guilt building inside of me.

I did not mind being Fae, or at least I told myself that every time I noticed a difference. It was that Elain had decided she had nothing more to live for, and I couldn't heal that. I knew Graysen had become a daily addition to Elain's world, but I had missed just how important he was to her. now she was Fae there was no chance of that relationship continuing. I hoped every day for her to fall in love with someone else, or to find the light and companionship somewhere else. I was out of ideas on how to bring her love for life back. I loved Elain, but like all wounds before magic was reality, it would have heal in its own time.

Rhysand had explained the mating bond thoroughly to me. It seemed like common knowledge to everyone who had been born Fae. I would not accept being less educated that others ever again, especially since I was to live forever. Armen taught me much more about the world above the wall, history lessons were peppered in whenever I had time between healing. I thought, though Armen complained about everything, that she enjoyed teaching, gifting knowledge in whatever way she wanted.

There was always healing. My lessons had started to incorporate practical situations. I had promised, more liked begged to help in the healers' tents during the war and now I could heal.

The Cauldron had somehow given me actual healing power. Rhysand, when I told him, nervously, had told me to redouble efforts to master it with Madja. He didn't feel threatened or excited. He was kind, but not excited or nervous at all. He made a comment about the High Lord of Dawn, Thesan, who had healing powers himself.

With Rhysand's blessing and Madja's strictness, my focus on Elain became secondary. War was coming. I couldn't magically help Elain in the remaining time we had, so I decided to do my part in ensuring there was an _after_ where one day she could be truly and fully happy again. I spent all my days with Madja.

I poured more and more of myself into learning what I could about the Fae, though we spent most of the time learning how to use the powers of healing the Cauldron had given me. My days were also filled with learning about new potions, damages of in-battle healing, and the difference in the Fae's heighten healing.

The textbooks Rhysand had brought for me whenever he returned with another letter also helped in my shortened education. Rhysand and the others never gave a set time frame of when we would be transferring out of the city, but Madja did her best to cram everything in before I would be on the fields.

I was ever so slightly grateful that Cassian's wings had been injured so I had a safe patient to learn on. Madja had said that it was likely I would go whole weeks working on wings following a battle. Between this learning, the lack of healers, and the distrust between courts, I could only ever work on wings. So, she made sure I would be able to do anything I could be needed to.

The quick training wouldn't have worked with anyone who wasn't already familiar with treating varying aliments, but the wings were the things I was most interested in learning. It was newest, and most different. There was simply nothing that could compare. Two weeks into treating Cassian, all of his bones fully mended, we stopped administering the draft that kept him asleep. Illyrians needed to fly and move and be free, and the more Cassian moved his wings, the more likely it was that they wouldn't heal right. It wasn't a risk Madja or Rhysand said they needed to take. Had the battles already been going on, and going badly, they would have woken him before he healed completely.

Cassian's eyes opened wide, he immediately tried to rise to his feet. Hands going for weapons that had been removed weeks ago.

I let him get to his feet, and take in his surroundings. Honestly, he was dangerous until he could assure himself that there wasn't danger.

We had moved the furniture in one the living rooms of the House of Wind so a bed large enough for Illyrian wings could be laid down. I had been reading nearby, waiting for Cassian to wake.

"Good morning, Cassian. You've been asleep for a while, so your wings could heal. They're fine. You're fine. Everyone else is fine. You have splints on your wings, so you can't open them, but I can take them off now."

I rose quickly and started untying. He asked for the general information, how long he had been asleep, how long until he could fly. Then after there was nothing I could tell him about his healing he prompted me with a name.

"Az?" Even though I told him everyone was fine the words were laced with worry.

"Off spying in the human realm, I'm told." That was yesterday, but no harm in day old info. He had been out for two weeks.

"Rhys?"

"I'm not sure what he is doing today, but he makes a point that I don't eat alone. Uh, because Nesta and Elain are still adjusting and don't like company. They are here in the House of Wind."

"Feyre?"

"She is in Spring Court, acting spy. She saved us all." Before he could asked for the last piece of his family I added, "and Mor is with her father, but I've gathered that that isn't a good thing."

He didn't respond. Didn't say a thing. I finished my work silently.

"Okay, go ahead and practice folding and opening. You'll be a bit sore. Do it ten times, then eat lunch. Then keep doing it. In three days, if you continue to work on them, you should be able to fly again." The atrophy wouldn't have been so bad on any other body part, but wings were fragile and so he needed to be back into top shape before we let him try to hold his whole weight.

Cassian ate ravenously. We had left out breakfast, so he could eat when he woke up. After, I returned to my book, watching him work his wings over the top of it. After he finished his reps, he looked at me, as if in permission to leave.

"Please go bathe now." I said ardently. After two weeks, though we had sponged most of the blood off, he was starting to stink. Cassian disappeared into the halls with a chuckle.


	12. Chapter 12: Feyre's Return--Lucien POV

**Chapter 12: Feyre Returns**

 **Lucien:**

The House of Wind as Feyre called it, was not ideal. She snuck away from the balcony and I knew she was going to see her sister. Sisters. There was only one I wanted to see. Had to see.

I followed them down the halls at a distance they wouldn't hear or stop me. Cassian led Feyre into a large common room, but I couldn't see much beyond. I could not even remember what she smelled like, and only the mating bond was reminding me what she looked like.

How had Tam and I never invited Feyre's family above the wall, or taken Feyre for a visit. Things could have been better. Feyre was worried that Elain was not adjusting well, and thousands of questions swarmed my mind at the thought.

The door shut and the three of them filed down the hall to another room. This meeting was quieter. And the room. Even from the other end of the hall I could smell her. I had to see her, just to make sure she was alright, nothing else. Not unless she wanted it. That smell was going to drive me to something stupid.

Rhysand and Cassian stood in the doorway, giving the sisters space. In the room there was a small figure, thin and unmoving. Too pale for health. She was so small. Maybe I imagined it, but I could feel the mental pain, the pain of just being so sad.

Feyre dragged her attention from the sister on the floor to us, to me. Feyre said her goodbyes and slipped the door closed.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked quietly, but not softly. A question that I needed answered.

"I have to figure it out." Feyre snapped before I could finish. Silence. Terrible halting silence.

"I'll show your room." Rhysand walked down the hall, towards the stairs. Of course, they wouldn't let me be near her.

The table had only two unclaimed seats and yet Karlene, Elain and I had yet to sit. Actually Karlene and Elain were not here. There was seat next to Nesta open and when I made to sit there, she slapped a hand over it. Claiming it for someone else. There was nowhere else to sit, I couldn't exactly sit at the head. After pointing that out to Rhysand, he basically forced me to sit there.

I sat at the head of the table. Something Tamlin would have never allowed. Not for a dinner, especially not for the first dinner with a new guest. I did not dare push it. Not when they held this power over me. They weren't cruel about it, but did acknowledge that I wouldn't be leaving without her. Not that I had anywhere to go. Not that I wanted to take her away from her sisters.

Elain, Elain, Elain.

Rhysand snapped his fingers and food appeared. Everyone began scooping food on to their plates, no rhyme or reason, just that they wanted food. Cassian had taken one bite when the clock struck the hour.

He rose from his seat and practically jumped off the balcony. His plate they left, as if he had just gone to the bathing room.

Nesta leveled a glare at me, an assessment perhaps. I reached for a plate of something in front of me and tore my gaze away from Nesta.

Thunderous beats of wings sounded outside the balcony doors where Cassian had not bothered to close them. Karlene in his arms. He was carrying her. I supposed she couldn't get up here by herself.

He set her down lightly, and her arm strained on the strap of a giant bag. Cassian took it from her, and she cast an odd glace at him. As if questioning whether he really intended to carry it for her. She waved towards the table as she passed, but continued into the hallways that held rooms and libraries. Cassian followed after her, with the bag. "She'll be right back." Mor added with a small smile.

Minutes passed, everyone talking too much to finish eating. Most dinners with Tamlin we talked little in between the bites of food.

Bare feet slapped lightly on the floors. Karlene, freshly washed, appeared a moment later. Wet hair and indeed bare feet. She looked tired, exhausted. Whatever she was doing in the city was too much, too stressful, too involved.

Karlene took the chair between Nesta and Feyre. Karlene hugged her sister tightly and then started eating. Quickly, as if she hadn't eaten all day, but not grossly.

"Karly," Nesta snapped. I bristled at the tone, the disgust in her voice. "Did you not eat today?"

"I did, but I threw up my breakfast and I knew I would do the same to my lunch, so." She raised her eyebrows as if that explained everything.

"What were you doing that made you throw up, I thought healers had stomachs of steel." Cassian shoveling food into his mouth now that his tasks for the day were done.

Karlene grimaced, "I used to, but now everything is more intense." She drained her glass and Feyre refilled for her. "The guts of people take up a lot of space, so it's likely that not everyone will remain intact in the coming months. Unfortunately, they smell very, very strongly when punctured." She gave Nesta a small smile, only because she looked so uncomfortable at the thought of guts spilled.

"You know, Karly, when you say it like that, I worry you're not quite ready for the brutality of war." Rhysand drawled causally.

"Well, I would like to keep this meal where I put it." She patted her stomach. They smiled at her, all of them. Nothing like Elain, wasting away in her room. All of their attention was on this sister, not on the one that was dying in her room. If Karlene was a healer, she should care for her family first. Nesta was a viper on edge, Elain a ghost, but Karlene was comfortable here.

Mor, sitting next to me said, "Karlene, do you remember Lucien?"

Karlene's attention moved off if the food, rather somberly. When she surveyed me there was nothing kind or lovely in her gaze. She turned her attention back to Mor and shook her head, mouth still full.

"Lucien was with Tamlin, in his court, until recently." Mor explained. The rest of the conversations around the table had stopped at this introduction. All waiting to see what Karlene, what I would do.

"I was at Hybern," I said to her, hoping she would remember. She met my gaze, unflinching and calm. Too calm for the trauma I had brought up, stupid move.

"If you were there, you might recall I spent most of the visit in various states of unconsciousness. I don't remember much." She turned away from us, utterly done with that conversation. But there was not another one she could turn to. Everyone at the table was staring at her, so when she had turned her head, she was met with Azriel, Rhys, Armen, and Feyre all assessing her closely. "What?" she asked.

"Lucien is Elain's mate." Feyre said quietly. Karlene flicked her eyes up at that, to Feyre then to me. Nesta looked ready to spit at me. Or maybe Feyre. Everyone else was tense, ready to stop a physical fight the second it began.

Karlene reached across to the corner where the clean plates were. Then started loading it up with small amounts of everything. Like a sample plate.

"You are not going to eat more." Nesta said, uncompromising.

"No, I'm going to try and get Elain to eat, unless you want to." Karlene bit back.

"I do that all day, while you're off playing nurse." Nesta seethed.

"You know, Elain doesn't need to be babysat. You could get a hobby." Karlene stood, with the plate in one hand, a roll of silverware in the other.

"I am doing things." Nesta started, as if rearing to land an insult, but Karlene cut in before she could finish.

"Thinking up insults to fling at Cassian does not count as a hobby." Karlene had moved as she said the words, already she was several feet away.

I could tell Karlene had not tried that argument before, and already she had moved away. Nesta was dangerous, and perhaps she wouldn't hurt Karlene in physical ways, but her insults could do just as much damage.


	13. Chapter 13: Karlene Makes Plans

**Chapter 13: Lucien**

 **Karlene:**

I had circled the spot where Lucien was sitting twice.

I could practically hear the questions beating inside of his head.

He had followed the rules so far. He was, in fact on his floor. Feyre hadn't told me that _I_ wasn't to bother him. Only that he couldn't see Elain unless she approved it. It seemed silly to me that Feyre had to approve it. She hadn't been around Elain, and she hadn't been around healing people.

I mentioned in passing to Madja that Lucien, Elain's mate was here now. And I had pondered if he would help or hurt her out loud. Madja impressed the idea that he could indeed help her if only to give her something new to fascinate about. Madja had a way of suggesting things in a way that made people feel like they came up with the idea all on their own. Like planting small seeds to later bloom. She then told me that she would be too busy to have me in her shop the following day. Giving me opportunity and an idea.

I called for Feyre and she approved my whole plan. I wondered if Lucien would. Nesta was indisposed, Cassian had been called in to distract her. Mercifully, Elain was having a good day. She ate more than she had in weeks for breakfast.

I had to try something.

So, when I circled the little sitting room Lucien sat in the for third time, his curiosity won over his patience.

"Can I do something for you?" He asked over a book. It was all anyone around here did. Read. I bet he read better than even Nesta, being a couple centuries old and all.

I stopped and carefully cocked my head. A thing I had seen Cassian do, and it unnerved me to no end. "Yes, actually."

He closed the book and set it on the end table. He braced his feet on the floor, readying for a fight. "Why didn't you just storm in here and demand it."

I blinked. "I might have been rude when you showed up here with one thing on your mind, but I was under the impression you wanted to claim Elain in brutish ways. I now realize that you still have only Elain on your mind, but you aren't going to hurt her." I had put my hands on my hips, trying to more intimidating than I am.

It was Lucien's turn to cock his head. "Are you apologizing?"

"Yes, but you're still under threat of Armen if you hurt Elain." I sighed and sank into the chair across from his. "You have seen that Elain isn't adjusting well."

"She's dying." Lucien said with more pain that I thought possible in his voice. It made me swallow.

"She will if something doesn't change." I made myself look at him, it was harder than I thought to betray Nesta on this. "I have an idea on how we could change her environment so that there could be some improvement to her condition."

"Condition," he spit.

I sighed again, "she is deeply traumatized."

"What do you need from me?" A plain question, and a masked one. He was willing to do anything for Elain. I could plainly see that now, but he didn't want me to know how desperately he wanted to help.

"Elain loves light and flowers and shopping and just very girly things." I explained. Lucien nodded at this like he was trying to file ever word I said away. "I have never seen her so happy as when she began courting Grayson."

"I will not bring him here."

"No, he would try to kill everyone, perhaps even Elain, now that she is Fae." I amended.

"She loved this man?"

"She still does, but I want you take her out and do these things. Feyre and I will make detailed lists of where to go and what to do, things not to say, and how to care for Elain." I was rattling off the same list I had come to Feyre with.

"You want me to court her or nanny her?" Concern lined every word.

"She's an adult, but don't try to court her." I said firmly. "We will have to start very small, making tea, sitting in the garden, talking. She hasn't been eating so she won't have the energy to leave or go very far. Getting food in her system is the number one goal." I explained. "Whenever you are with her, you will also be accompanied by Nesta or me and likely someone else. We trust you to have Elain's well-being in mind, her safety, but not to keep her here."

"I would never take her away from her family." He sounded upset, but I believed him.

I sighed for a third time, "that remains to be proven."

"Thank you for letting me help." He said when he thought I was done.

"I have been taking care of Elain for these past couple months, and I will continue to do so, but if this works, it will be me thanking you." I rose from my seat and went to the door.

He fidgeted just slightly before asking, "when do we start, tomorrow?"

"Oh, we are moving down to the townhouse, right now actually. Feyre and I need time to prepare things and Elain will likely want to see the garden there. So, it will a bit until we are ready, maybe you could help her garden. Or go buy seeds or something. I've seen very little of the city, so I couldn't tell you where, but I'm sure Mor or Cassian can."

"Brilliant." He said more to himself.

I taped the molding on the door. It was very old, but no near deteriorating. "And you're moving down to the townhouse too."

His eyes shot up to me, looking for the truth. "I am?"

"I'm told you'll be staying in the attic." I answered.

"Brilliant," he said again.


	14. Chapter 14: Ravens

**Chapter 14: Ravens**

 **Feyre:**

Nesta and Karlene we're getting along better. I had a feeling it had to do with Elain's slow improvement. For all their disagreements, they had done a spectacular job of helping Elain. I also knew that Nesta disliked Karlene's tactics in getting Elain to participate but I didn't comment. Likely they already fought about that. I trusted that Karlene knew what she was doing in pressing Elain, and Elain had improved a lot. I could do without shoving her at Lucien when Karly had lessons though.

Lucien to his credit, followed Karlene's instructions as if it were law.

I led Nesta and Karlene through the library explaining bits and pieces of its history and the layout. Karlene was even less talkative than Nesta.

We came upon the stack where the books about the wall and Cauldron had been piled.

"There is another section I wanted to look at. You can-" I was going to offer them to stay, but Nesta cut me off.

"We'll come with you." She answered. She had said she could sense things about the Cauldron, but there was no comment on Karlene's abilities.

Karly didn't object, she hadn't even had time to sit or set her own bag of healing books down. She was returning some of them, getting the next volume of others.

They followed me, quieter and quieter as we threaded through the stacks. Nesta picked up a book immediately.

"How do you know what to look for?" I found myself asking. I cringed at my question, I was going to ruin this peace we had created.

"I just do. It's a feeling." Nesta said, not taking her eyes off the books. Karlene looked at me with equal confusion.

"Which one should I," Karlene stopped talking when Nesta picked up a book and dropped it in her arms. Nesta flipped through another book fast, not needing to read each word to know what she needed. She pulled one off the shelf for me too. She put one in her hands back and reached for another.

The mountain shuddered, not the floor, but the essence of it. Like the very air was afraid. Karlene peaked her head around the bookshelf. Then slowly brought her head back around the corner and turned to us.

"The Fae lights are going out." She whispered barely loud enough for even me to hear.

"Run." I said, and wrapped my fingers over Nesta's wrist and tugged her along. Karlene I knew would follow. Nesta might freeze in panic.

I pulled them down the hall back to the main area, the area would widen soon and Karlene could run alongside of us, not behind. Nesta kept tripping over her dress. We had to go faster. Whatever it was, we were going too slow not to be caught.

Our footsteps were too loud and soon the fading lights caught us. Karlene shrieked and I spun, palming my only knife. She had been behind the two of us, and now someone had her by the hair. In a spectacular retendering of the last time I had seen her held by the hair, the male threw her forward right into a bookshelf. Her head smacked against it, but there was no blood.

Karlene rolled on to her back, right as I made to grab her and winnow. Dust coated my eyes my mouth.

The gleaming of a sword shone over the pain and blocking of the dust. My magic was gone.

Nesta increased her grip on my arm. I couldn't process through Nesta's gasp and the pain in my eyes. I blinked and blinked I had to see to help my sisters. I tightened my grip on the knife. _Rhys_. Nothing on the other side of the bond.

The gleaming I had seen was a sword pointed at Karlene.

"You're the wrong sister." The male hissed at Karlene who was still recovering from the dust.

The sword raised and lowered fast, too fast.

Karlene brought up one of those thick healing books in her hands.

The sword in embedded in that and she spun, her whole body rolling, until the tip of the sword protruded out the other end. Karlene had twisted the momentum of the sword into the floor. She had also used that twist to get on her hands and knees. Crawling until she could get her feet under her.

"Run." She hissed.

Nesta and I both gripped her hands as she scrambled forward, getting her upright before running.

"We will catch you. Hybern wants you." One crowed.

"You made a mistake, coming into my home. I hope it rips you to shreds." I shouted over my shoulder. I banged on the wall where the bond should be. _Rhys, where are you_.

We could not go up, could not lead the Ravens to the priestesses or to the city beyond. So, I drug my sisters into that pit. Down and around. Down and around. Until there were no more faelights to guide the way.

"Here," I pushed Nesta and Karlene towards another staircase, up this time.

"No, Feyre. I can help-" Karlene protested. Knowing what I was planning. Karlene who was driven to do, to help. She would not leave me. Even if it meant a pointless death. Nesta knew this too, and was pulling her up the stairs. Karlene wouldn't leave, and wouldn't save herself. Nesta would save her, would make sure her littlest sister was alright for perhaps the first time.

"Help me by finding help." I said and threw myself against the bookcase. Again and again. It toppled, taking all the others with it.

Gone they were gone, and they would be safe.

 **Karlene:**

My hand was throbbing in time to my heart beat, which was rapid. All those stairs we thrown ourselves down, and now we had to climb them even faster.

Feyre had a knife, a little baby knife compared to two swords and whatever magic they still had. Nesta kept pace with me as we hurtled up the stairs.

Nesta smacked into Cassian who then flew down into the dark pit. Much faster than we could go. Nesta and I kept climbing out of the pit, headed to the main entryway of the library.

My hand was slick with blood, and it had run all down my pants. My head was pounding from the lack of magic and the lack of blood. The cut on my hand was much more than I had first thought.

"Karly," Nesta panted. Her eyes on my hand, on the redness that trailed us.

"I'm fine." I bit back. My bag was lost wherever it was that they caught me.

Nesta stop protesting because we came into the main area. Mor was sitting the librarians. Her eyes went right to my hand, which I had to fight the urge to tuck behind my back.

"Your powers?" Mor asked.

I shook my head. Some powder had taken them and now I couldn't even heal a little bit.

"Armen will be back soon." Mor smiled tightly. Her gaze again dripped down to the large red stain on my pants.

It was only a few minutes before Rhysand, Cassian, and Feyre rose from the bottom of the pit. Mor detached herself from one of the priestesses and went to whisper something to Cassian. Nesta sat vigil next to me. The chair I was sitting in was more than a little bloody.

Good thing there was magical cleaning.

"Ready?" Feyre asked, and extended a hand. Nesta and I rose. Unbidden my vision blurred badly, and I sunk back into my chair.

"Let's get you to Armen," Cassian said and swept me up into his arms. His face had a few splatters of blood, but I doubted any were his.

When we were seated in the sitting room, Elain tucked away from the scent of blood, Armen wrapped my hand even though she healed the whole thing. Something about going easy on it until I could get my powers back.

Cassian shoved a glass of alcohol in my other hand.

"Karly," Azriel started. I didn't think he had ever called me by nickname. "Rhys just showed me what happened, via Feyre's perspective." He added when I must have given a confused look. "I'm impressed with what you did with the book."

Cassian nodded his agreement and offered to train me. But I didn't want that. I wanted to give life, not take it. In self-defense was one thing, but what they suggested…

I shook my head. And they didn't push.


	15. Chapter 15: Court of Nightmares

**Chapter 15: Court of Nightmares**

 **Karlene:**

Mor had presented me with ten dresses to choose from, and all of them were too revealing for me to contemplate wearing. So, we had a dress altered. Tailored to hug every soft curve that I would use as a distraction. So that if Feyre and Rhysand weren't enough of one for Nesta and Armen to slip away, I could make a scene.

This was not something I thought I would be naturally good at, so I had practiced in the small room that was mine, in the bathing room. I practiced sultry looks and walking just right. I practiced dominating the room with no words.

Something I only practiced when the house emptied out was the mask over my power. Everyone could feel the well, the deep well that it was. But my power was not rolling darkness or raw and unchecked as Feyre's. It was kind, it was healing, it was good. And there was no goodness in the Court of Nightmares. So, I practiced making people feel the depth of the power and hiding its true nature. It wasn't hard to pretend.

I surveyed myself one final time in the mirror. The gray and purple dress dipped in a vee to where my sternum ended, my breasts pushed so they were practically falling out of the dress. The rest was tight. So tight that I needed the slits up both legs so I could walk. In this, while I would have never worn this as a human, it felt right for who I was now. I didn't feel exposed, and based on what Mor had shown me, I might feel matronly next to the rest of the court.

My hair was what I was most proud of. My sister was High Lady, and while I didn't want or need a title, I did like the dark gems that they wove in a circlet around my head. Some hair was braided in that circle to hold them in, but rest flowed loosely down my back. The gems were well hidden, and it would take someone looking for them, or standing very close to see them. Not a crown, but a marker of importance.

For my distraction I had planned it, well as much as I could. I grabbed a thick fur jacket that was too short to cover my rear. It had a very important part to play in this act.

I descended the steps, Armen, Azriel, Cassian and Lucien sat in the living room, waiting for everyone else.

"My goodness, what did they do to the sweet little healer." Armen smiled.

"I was going for storm cloud." I said, and smoothed the silky material down so it wouldn't pull when I sat.

"and the fur?" Cassian asked.

"It's for Azriel." I said, and pulled the said fur up over my shoulders to hide the exposed bits for a bit longer.

"I don't think he'll want to wear it. It doesn't go with the whole scary Illyrian look." Cassian said and gestured to where Az sat.

I nodded, "Yes, but treating him like a coat rack will not only give him an excuse to disappear from the hall to put it away, but it makes for an awful statement." I explained. "I talked to Feyre about it, and she said it was more than perfect. I don't have to if-"

"No I agree with Feyre, it will make for quite the show." Azriel smiled.

"I thought you wouldn't like to play a monster." Cassian mused.

"It might not come as naturally to me, but I think it will be fun." I smiled a bit. "Too bad you'll miss my first performance."

"Have you thought about what you'll do when they try to touch you. You'll be left in the hall by yourself." Azriel asked calmly.

"I have, Feyre made me skip time with Majda all week to train with Cassian. But honestly I'm going to have it let it happen if I want to be convincing." I surveyed my hands, my nails were cut much shorter than was stylish, and I had a large from where the Raven's sword had sliced. My hands were as brutalized as any warriors. Maybe they would take that as a warning.

The others came down the stairs and we said our goodbyes and good lucks.

"Surely my love, they'd like to stand up now." Feyre drawled. And even from behind the doors I could hear her.

I pushed open the giant doors with power, and strode down the hall. It was deathly silent, all eyes were on me. I made my shoes clip loudly on the floor, marking each step that brought me closer to the dark king and queen. I masked the sweetness, the goodness of my power so all they felt was the rumbling of the well of magic.

At the foot of the dais, I stopped.

"I am sorry about my tardiness." I smiled at them. As genuine a smile I could muster, then I bowed, low, as low as I could. All of the courtiers were still kneeling, watching my interaction.

"Karlene, I do adore your theatrics." Rhysand called out. Then after a second longer, "Rise."

I did as I was bid. I made a pointed look over each shoulder. "I was told there would be dancing."

Rhys smiled again. "You were just a tad too early for me to dismiss them." He leveled a glare out at his people. "Begin." Music and food appeared. "Which one of the fine males from my court will be your partner tonight?" His gaze was amused, like I was a child conquer and I existed only because he allowed it.

"I think I'll be sampling a few, I have all night after all." Then without dismissal I swept away from him and towards Azriel. Everyone was still watching me, but not so openly now. I slide the jacket off my shoulders easily.

"Hold this for me, darling Azriel." I draped the jacket over his shoulder without a backward glance. And headed off to the fun. Nesta and Armen were already gone.

I trailed my fingers down the tabletop, and stopped at a pile of strawberries. I picked one up and sucked the juice out, a lovely display of my lips. I tossed the stem onto another plate and continued down. Before I even made half way down the table, I was stopped.

"I heard you would like to dance," he had black eyes, no whites to see. His skin was pale and looked almost milky, but the shape of him was very appealing.

I looked him up and down. "You can have two dances." I took his extended hand and he laced my fingers through his. An intimate gesture that I was not prepared for. Who knows how long I'll have to do for. Feyre said it was very possible that no one will want to touch me because of their fear of Rhysand. I wondered what would happen if Elain was here. I almost laughed at the thought.

"Your name is Karlene?" he asked, as he pressed himself up against me. These weren't waltzes and foxtrots. This was dancing pressed as close together as possible, grinding and sliding together. His hands curled in, grabbing my hips right at the bone. And he moved me. I should be thankful that he was dominate, so that I could just move. I mummed my agreement to my name, but I didn't ask for his. Clear I had no incline for him.

When the two dances ended, I walked away from him, without a backwards glance. Another partner came up to offer me a dance, but I declined. It became clear to them I had no use for power or position only their physical appearance. Compared to humans they were all striking, but if I compared them to each other it was much easier to find the ones who were of extraordinary beauty.

I danced with males for two each, all in a row. Each getting handsyier and handsyier. Until I walked away from one who tried to slide his hand down the top of my dress. I walked away without warning or reprimand. He had no choice to let me go. They thought I had the power to kill them, and they knew Rhysand would.

After that the offers came less quickly. I still agreed to half of them. I was on my thirteenth dance when Azriel appeared. He offered his hand and I detached from my partner.

No questions of where we were going, no comments that the High Lord needed my assistance. Silent as his shadows we winded out of the hall. Azriel appeared my fur jacket again, and wrapped me up tightly.

"It started snowing," he mumbled.

"At least it will be pretty." I commented as he scooped me up. "Even if I freeze my toes off." He didn't even chuckle at my small joke. "What's wrong?"

"Rhysand will make a deal with the devil to ensure we win this war." He answered, tightly.

I studied his face. "We have to win."

"I know," and that was all he said. We didn't fly all the way to Velaris, but to a pocket of shadows in the forest where Azriel disappeared us through. It was similar to winnowing, but more cynical, like we had disappeared into a crueler space to get to our destination, instead of whatever world winnowing took us through.


	16. Chapter 16: Summer Court Attack

Some dialogue is directly from Sarah J. Maas's A Court of Wings and Ruin

 **Chapter 16: Summer is Attacked**

 **Karlene:**

Mor came back for me.

They had cleared the palace, but there was still panic all around. What remained of the guards were scattered. It was safe, as long as I kept my wits about me and stayed to main paths. She pressed a blade into my hand and disappeared.

I took it in, tried to see the pattern in the movements. There were bodies being piled in the main entry. Only a few more bodies and the doors would be blocked. There was no one clearly in charge. Where was the High Lord or anyone? I watched them all for a few more seconds, they hadn't even noticed my appearance. There were no healers or at least none in this area.

I walked up to the one of the men dumping bodies unemotionally into a pile. "Excuse me?"

His eyes immediately went to my very clean state. "Yes,"

"Where are the injured? I'm a healer from Night Court."

"We have only been moving the dead so far. If you want to help them, you have to get deeper in the palace." He shrugged.

"Do you think we could change that. The organizing of this," I gestured around, "is lacking."

He shrugged again. "I do what I'm told."

"Who told you to prioritize the dead over the living? Who told you to put dead bodies inside, to block doors, in a pile?" I asked exasperated. By now there several guards looking at me.

"Well," The first guard prompted, "what should we be doing?"

I blinked. Were they really that desperate for coordination, for direction. Could I really do better than this? I had a second to decide, then they would turn back to their jobs.

"Outside, on the lawn in neat rows with faces uncovered. Injured in here, the more severe put closest to the middle of the hall." I pointed to the grand entry way. "Also in rows, but further spaced apart. Any healing supplies you find, particularly bandages, on the tables. When we get all the injured on this level, I'll give you new instructions." I spoke loudly so they could all hear me, but softly so didn't sound like such a command. After all, I didn't have real rank.

I used my powers slowly, only where I absolutely had to. The threat outside would be dealt with. These people didn't have to rush back into battle. They had time to heal naturally. I was grateful that we were in the water lord's domain. Water was essential to healing, and the assistance of their magic made things go much faster, and probably saved lives.

When the soldiers started pouring in from elsewhere, we had to readjust. There were too many people in the hall and those who didn't have thoracic trauma or weren't bleeding out were sent into other rooms. There were too many. The nearly dead we were forced to keep outside. There were too many inside for the healers to deal with as it was.

When supplies ran low I ordered the beds stripped and the linens cut. We never ran out of clean water.

By the time the intake of soldiers slowed, the hall was so full you could barely walk without stepping on a person. The original team of guards were directing traffic. Telling the ones who carried their friends and fellow males into the hall where to go based on the severity of injuries. Pushing those who screamed for help for their dead friends back outside. It was brutal and bloody, too many times I had to leave patient because they had died before I could get to them.

The battle had clearly ended, and people were flooding in to help. I was beyond grateful for the extra hands to hold down thrashing bodies while I cut or stitched them. Soon I had my own little team of soldiers who followed me from patient to patient, following my word as if it were law.

My powers stalled before I saw Feyre or Mor or anyone I knew. I was covered blood, it had soaked right through all my layers. I had been trying to magically knit an artery together. My powers had been lagging, slower to rejoin body parts, but here it stopped. Just refused.

I was about to try again when one of the original guards got my attention from across the room. He was frantic. I bandaged the arm as tightly as I could and weaved through the people to him.

I opened my mouth to ask a question, but he turned me into another room, we thankfully hadn't had to use yet, and pushed me through.

A man-no male was standing behind a desk, holding his arm. Several others went kept discussing quietly.

"I was told you're responsible for taking over my reception hall." If his silver armor and brilliant cape weren't enough to tell me who he was, then the pure authority with which he spoke was. The High Lord of Summer. My eyes traced the outline of his cape, a beautiful blue that would have looked like the waters beyond had it not been splattered with blood.

"I did not think you would mind sacrificing your carpets to the injured." I replied surprisingly calm, I didn't feel it. Now would be a good time for Feyre to show up.

"Who are you?" He asked, and with a flick of his hand he gestured for me to come closer. I wanted to, I wanted to drop myself into the chair right across from him. I wanted to sit just for a minute, but there were many, many Fae in here covered in different patterns of blood. And as much as I wanted a moment of rest, there was also common sense telling me that this man had sent a blood ruby to my sister, and her mate, and their second. I could be easy revenge.

"I'm Karlene, Feyre's sister." I took a few steps closer, to stay civil, but still kept a few steps away from all of them.

"Her sisters are human." He said more to himself.

"Not anymore." And I couldn't hide my repulsion of the memory. Then I looked at the way he was holding his arm. Broken. He was holding the splintered pieces together.

"How are you Fae?" He asked, it was a quiet question, with no order in it. I didn't have to tell him, I really didn't.

The question made me move again. I came around the desk and took his arm in my hands as I said, "The King of Hybern dunked me in the Cauldron after Tamlin sold me and sisters to have Feyre back." I laid his arm on the desk and set it against it, then poured the dregs of my healing magic into it.

He said when I finally released his arm, "My name is Tarquin."

I raised an eyebrow. Taking him in. I must have been the fact that I was still used to humans, but the Fae were attractive. Even covered in blood and guts.

I stepped back to the other side of the desk. "High Lord of Summer," I mused. "Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"I thank you for helping my court, but I want you to leave." He said sorely. There was a trace of anger, but also regret.

"Karly," Feyre yelped from the doorway.

"Leave us," Tarquin said to the group, now with a growl.

"What are you doing here?" Feyre asked, her question clearly directed at me.

"Mor brought me." I pressed my lips together. I started backing away from Tarquin.

I watched her jaw tighten, but she said nothing to me or Mor as she turned her attention to the High Lord. His expression held none of the curiousness, none of the regret only seconds ago was there. In my moment I had taken to stare, the others had filed out. The room was suddenly very empty.

"I heard you two cleared the palace. And helped clear the island." Even when he spoke to me he didn't sound so gone.

Mor straightened, "Your soldiers fought bravely beside us."

Tarquin didn't look at Mor, at me, only pierced Feyre with a stare. "I thought you came to finish the job. I heard Tamlin took you. Then I heard the Spring Court fell. Collapsed from within. Its people in revolt. And you had vanished. And when I saw the Illyrians legion sweeping in… I thought you had come for me, too. To help Hybern finish us off."

I didn't move. My silent retreat, maybe I should, but I couldn't move. The relived fear from him, the current fear from my sister. I couldn't leave.

"We would never ally with Hybern," Mor said.

Tarquin bristled. "I'm talking to Feyre Archeron." His tone was pure wrath, but he still had not raised his voice. And then he added, "why?"

"Our dreams are the same." Feyre whispered. That set me moving. Even if they didn't agree, and got into it again, I would be little help in a fight. People who I could help were outside, dying.

"Is that how you justified stealing from me?"

I started to slink out the doorway, forgotten, but Rhysand caught me with a look. He was surprised I was here too.

"My mate and I had our reasons, Tarquin." Seeing him, hearing his voice felt like a safety net. This wouldn't end in death of people I cared about after all.

They launched into a volley about faults and actions of Hybern. Then I heard it. Tarquin was so, so, so pissed.

"Tend to your wounded, Tarquin." Feyre finally snapped. She turned and gave me an angry look. As if my actions were criminal.

I didn't get to sit down until the morning. Feyre joined me, following me for hours, fetching water and holding males down better any of the others. Perhaps it was because I was more comfortable giving her stern and specific tasks. She followed them all without comment or complaint. Until in the late hours of the night, she didn't come back. Likely fell asleep on the way, the poor girl.

Her job had been to clear the field and she was likely just as drained as I was.

Cassian was damn menace. He would put siphon bandages on the critical that I couldn't get off. How was I supposed to help when the bandages were on there with magic I didn't have. He disappeared for long stretches, however. Most of the healers stayed up with me, working through the night to breathe life into the dying. Walking the line of death with hundreds that night.

Occasionally one healer would collapse and those helping without healing expertise would carry them to an open bed to rest for the night. I was beginning to fear I would be one of them. Every sprinkle of power I got back, I pushed into someone else.

"You look awful." Cassian said from behind me. I turned for a brief second to see Azriel and Cassian coming to stop at the foot of the bed I was working on. They likely were coming to haul me off to bed.

"You couldn't see me until I turned." I huffed a chunk of hair out of my eyes. "And I was bloodier earlier, Feyre dumped water on me." I said, not looking at them again.

"You looked half dead last time I saw you," Cassian quipped.

"There is still work to be done." I said as I rinsed my hands and made to move across the aisle.

Azriel moved to block my way. "You can hurt yourself badly, kill yourself, if you use too much power."

"I'm aware." I stared him down. Right into his eyes that were still swimming from the battle. "I'll be sure to stop before then."

"You should rest now." Cassian cocked his head.

"There is still work to be done." I parroted.

"Karlene," Azriel reached for my hand and I was too tired to object to the movement. He squeezed my hand, my fingers. "Let's get you to bed, if only-"

I jerked my hand back and shook it out. My fingers had been well worked today and without my own healing, they were very tender. The specific movements of stitching had been draining down to my fingernails.

"We can't sleep until you do. So, let's go." Cassian said. Ignoring our reactions.

I gave in. "I am not supposed to be here. I don't have a bed. I was thinking of sleeping in one of the empty ones one the end."

"No, you have a tent come on." Cassian pulled me away.

I'm pretty sure one of them just lifted me into their arms because I didn't remember making it to the tent or where I was when Rhysand stormed in.

"Az, we are packing up-" He only made it a few steps. "Karlene?"

Afternoon light streamed in through the front flap.

"Good morning," I smiled sleepily at him.

"I didn't know you slept in here." He said carefully, eyes on the bed.

"Neither did I." I stretched, my limbs aching as if I had undergone some marathon.

"We are packing up. We need to take the tent down." Rhysand crossed the room and poured a glass of water, then handed it to me. I drank it in one go, he refilled it.

"What was the final count?" I asked him between sips.

"Too many, but it would have been more if you didn't help. I know Feyre is opposed to you being so close to the battle, of seeing the horrors this has to offer, but you are truly gifted. I've already heard of the miracles you made happen."

"It wouldn't have been so if I was still human." I said solemnly.

"No, and I am so sorry." He filled the glass again. Eyes not on me or the bed anymore.

I shook my head. "I am sorry I can't do more. I just can't learn to fight that quickly."

He smiled lightly. "Are you kidding? I heard about the mess turned hospital down the hill."

"I'm just as bossy as Nesta, when I have to be." I sighed, stretching again.

"Maybe by the end of the war, I'll have to invent some new position for head healer." He looked calm, unfazed by the events of the day before. I knew I only reflected the expression because of careful practice healing.

One of the reasons my original mentor had taken me on was because I was so calm in the face of someone coming in franticly. They had cut their hand nearly off in a wood chopping accident. I didn't faint at the dangling limb, or blood. I just helped them to lay down, and set to work beside her.

I never told Feyre about that. I never told anyone about the bad ones. It was probably good the battle had drained me too much to dream.


	17. Chapter 17:Fallout--mini Rhys and Az POV

**Chapter 17: Fallout**

 **Rhysand:**

Cassian was off to the Steppes, to meet with families about the fallen. Azriel and Karly had gone to the southern border to set up a semi-permanent camp, and to continue healing who they could.

When the living room came into view, I noticed Nesta freeze from her stalking. Armen rose from her chair. Then Nesta pounced. Right at Feyre.

"What happened?" Had she been anyone else I might have killed her for the tone alone.

"There was a battle. We won." I was teasing her. And being cruel to Armen, but I far from a fan of Nesta.

"We know that, what happened with Tarquin." Armen padded forward, and I debated connecting to her mind so that I could show just how shitty it had gone, but Feyre answered instead.

"Well, he didn't try to slaughter us on sight, so things went decently." She offered me a small smile. Decent, but not good.

Armen, though cool and unbothered by everything looked slightly antsy.

"The royal family remains alive and well. Tarquin's armada suffered losses, but the prince and princess were unscathed." I watched the tension roll out of Armen and right into Nesta. It was just too easy to play with Nesta. To prey on the first emotion other than anger I had seen from her.

"Where is he?" She demanded.

"Who?" I smiled. Hands shoved in pockets.

"Cassian." The word was a hiss.

No one answered her. I figured this was a good place to stop with the taunting. Taking out my anger from the big losses of the battle was not the way to get her to be a feeling member of society.

"He's busy," Mor lashed, Nesta actually recoiled from the ice in the words. Nesta stared Mor down, but she had flinched, it was already a lost battle.

The seconds turned longer, then just because I could barely help myself, "Maybe you should ask about your sister too."

"She's fine." Nesta said and waved a hand Feyre.

Not who I meant. Clearly Feyre had understood my intent too because she bristled.

"Karlene is also fine." Mor spat. There was abeat of silence while Nesta realized her mistake, realized we all knew her ill feelings towards her little sister.

"Nesta," Feyre snapped too. "It's Karlene's birthday soon."

Nesta cocked her head, predatory.

"We need to do something for her." Feyre explained.

"We are at war, Feyre, Karlene hardly needs a cake right now." Nesta waved a hand at Feyre in dismissal. She crossed back to where Armen's books were laid out.

"As if you have actually done anything for this war effort." Mor snipped. "Or have ever done anything for Karlene."

Nesta didn't respond, and not wanting to fight I offered my hand to Feyre and we disappeared upstairs.

 **Azriel:**

Karlene was far too dedicated to be looked down on as she was. The Illyrian healers didn't accept her help, and now that the troops weren't mainly unconscious they often pushed her away too. To them she was too young, too human, or too high Fae. It was a testament to her skill as a healer that she found things to do and ways to help even though she wasn't wanted.

I hoped that when the rest of Pythian gathered, she would be able to help others without so much pushback.

Karlene may not have noticed the guards we had posted at the ends of the healers tents, but they were there for her, not the injured.

Rhys sent messages to me all day, with Cassian off to the Steppes to deliver news to families, and Rhys busy with the High Lords, so the Illyrian command fell to me. Mor stopped by with the more sensitive messages that shouldn't be written down.

I kept running over the length of visit Mor made. Almost like she didn't want leave, but I didn't think it was because she wanted to be around me more. Nesta, she had said, was out of line. I had less negative feelings towards her than Mor, but she was still bothersome.

I couldn't imagine the love and desire Cassian felt towards her. She was beautiful, but the hate and rudeness she fronted with ruined it. Now that she had forever, I figured I could grow to like her or at least not hate her.

On the last evening that we could afford to give the Illyrians, Karlene, Cassian and I returned to the house. The High Lord meeting would take place tomorrow. Mor, in her other preparations had helped Elain and Feyre set up a small party for Karlene.

Normally we only had dinner together or went out somewhere. Nothing huge for birthdays since they happened so often. Now we had doubled the size of our family, we might have a dinner every month.

Karlene trudged into the townhouse, Cassian behind her.

"Happy Birthday!" Feyre yelled. She had so much energy and happiness for her sisters, even though we all had been covered in blood so recently. A perfect sister and High Lady.

"You didn't have to do all of this for me." Karlene said and round of hugs began, starting with Feyre.

"Eighteen is a big year." Rhys explained when it was his turn to hug Karlene. "And you deserve a cake for all the healing you've been doing."

"Well, I can never say no to frosting." Karlene made her way to the table where we all watched carefully as Elain took a seat and waited for everyone to sit.

I trudged over the thick carpet to the dining table. "Allow me," I served Karlene and Elain. Everyone else could fend for themselves. Especially Nesta who had not taken a seat, but was just staring and staring at Cassian.

"Sit," Feyre barked at Nesta. Something must have happened.

I took a seat opposite of Elain. Mor on my other side. Feyre sat on the other side of Karlene, the rest on the other side of the table. It was more than a little cramped. This must be why we usually ate at the House.

We didn't dare get drunk. There was too much at stake for the morning, but we did eat the food until we were bursting. Feyre and Karlene shared stories of their past, mostly highly embarrassing ones that ended in a fit of giggles. Elain chimed in a few times to alter details. Nesta sat, and did not comment, or laugh. As soon as dinner was cleared, Nesta disappeared up the stairs.


	18. Chapter 18: The High Lord Meeting

**Hello, I just wanted to say that I was really into this post high lord-meeting scene. I write all of this for fun, but I love to know what you think about this chapter especially.**

 **I only just realized that the scene transitions I have been putting in on the Word doc aren't transferring over, so I'm using … (ellipsis) now, sorry about that.**

 **Lastly, I just finished all my final exams for Fall term, and as such will have a lot more time to work on things other than homework. I plan to post 1-3 chapters a day, until the story is finished.**

 **Happy reading, -Court.**

…

…

 **Chapter 18: The High Lords**

 **Karlene:**

The High Lords were a bunch of sycophantic assholes. There was not one of them I liked, even Rhysand was being an asshole right now. Tamlin was being the worst of them all.

After his spat with Feyre and Rhys, I thought he was done. I really thought we could get down to business. I was very, very wrong.

"I'm sorry." I intruppted what was sure to be another insult from the blonde bastard. Everyone turned to me.

He didn't bother with words, only hissed at me. The weight of everyone else's eyes was near suffocating.

"Did you not just say you support the humans, and therefore Night Court in this war?" I asked, doing my best to appear more commanding than I ever had before.

"I do." Tamlin started, "I don't think-"

"Then," I said loudly, interrupting him before he could get the upper hand in this argument. Maybe arguing with Nesta was good for something. "I am confused why you continue to interrupt," I gave him an ironic smile, "the only people who have actually accomplished something, and who are the only ones who have raised an army against Hybern so far." I clasped my hands together, waiting for an answer.

"I have been working against him inside." Tamlin growled.

I felt Cassian shift beside me, as if readying to jump in front of me. "After you sold me and my sisters to Hybern. Forgive me if I don't think you are very honest."

"Ianthe did that." He roared, literally roared the words.

"For you." I quipped.

"How can you be mad that you're now immortal?" Beron asked before Tamlin could explode.

"Would you be mad if someone killed all your guards, your servants, burned your house to the ground, and kidnapped you in your bedclothes? Could you even fathom the terror of seeing your friends bleeding out on the floor, your family yanked between guards? Have you ever been _forced_ to do anything, ever?" My voice had gone cold, incessant that he understands. "The king did this as a _favor_ to Feyre, to you," I gestured to Tamlin. "I am terrified of what he will do to the humans that he means ill of."

"The humans have the wall, and they have their own armies. They will be fine, and if they finally prove that they are too weak to protect themselves then I say, let them fall. Autumn still feels the financial pains of sending our slaves away. If it is time we should call them back…" Beron's voice was casual and calm. Nothing would suggest he was contemplating enslaving thousands of people.

I shook my head, defeated. The other High Lords though, maybe they would be convinced.

Cassian patted my hand. I wasn't a speaker or a politician. I had failed at the social drama during the season. I was better at showing, at doing things, not talking. I had failed again, but hopefully Nesta or Feyre could still convince them.

The meeting continued, and I found myself thinking about the Illyrian patients I had back at the Steppes, I was better off with them.

…

We retired to a large suite, with doors lining either side of the main room, that lead to separate bedrooms. Everyone claimed theirs while I settled in at the table.

Madja had given me an endless amount of reading to do. She didn't give me a deadline, she never did. She let me work at my own pace. Likely knowing that being a High Lady's sister would divert my time and attentions elsewhere. She didn't need to stress the importance of my lessons. The more I learned, the more people I could help in the coming months.

I set up a giant textbook next to my already battered notebook. I kept everything I wanted to memorize, questions I had for Majda and other bits and pieces that I might need when I didn't have the textbook.

The thing about the textbook was it was dense, and written by scholars. I had really only learned how to read a little over a year ago, and while my skills in that fact had already surpassed Tremaine, it was not quite up to the level I needed with the textbook.

Madja had known this about me too, giving me pop quizzes verbally, not with pen and paper as she had in the past. I was grateful that a mastery of literature wasn't also on my to-do list.

The High Lords flitted in and out of the room, discussing sometimes seriously sometimes not. When Thesan came to sit at the table, Azriel moved to sit next me. Filling the space with even more warmth.

Mor was flirting with Helion, even though I was sure Azriel would be very upset about it later. At what point did Mor's disregard for his feelings drive him away, where was that line. I was jealous of that, jealous of not having someone who loved me around. Feyre and Rhysand made that positively painful at times.

At least there was a chance that Tremaine would still want me. He would love me, I knew, but you could love someone because of your past and not want them in the future because of…changes. Elain had Grayson ripped away from her. There was no chance of that relationship, but even though she disliked Lucien, he was there. Solid and there, loving her despite himself. Even Nesta had Cassian in whatever unholy capacity.

Mercy from mates.

Thesan, our host, sat across from me. Watching my notations with one eye while he surveyed Helion's seduction of Mor with the other.

The book before me produced another string of words I couldn't decipher. When reading, I did a better job of identifying the medical words that I had learned and used many times, than I did the explanations of the body parts or substances.

I pushed away from the table and lugged the book into my arms. Cassian had offered to help me with my studies when he was still recovering, and since then, he had been the main one I had come to with academic questions. At least when I wasn't with Madja. He had been more considerate in the gift of knowledge he continually gave me than I could have hoped.

Reading, it seemed, was a more important skill than fighting.

I twisted the book so he could read it and pointed to the three words that had stopped me.

"Palpation, bilious, and friable." He said as I pointed to each in turn. This time, thankfully, I knew what each word meant. I wasn't sure I could stand having Cassian be a dictionary in front of four High Lords. Though maybe Rhysand didn't count. I nodded my thanks and retreated back to the table.

"You're learning about tumors?" Thesan asked once I had settled back into my seat.

"Yes," I answered without looking up.

"That's rather advanced." He said with some reproach in his eye.

"I'm mainly learning it at this time because there aren't as many comprehensive texts on extracting foreign bodies from such a variety of body parts. I imagine most injuries will not be the typical clean cuts I have spent the last few months bandaging." My voice had more of a bite to it than I meant, but I knew my stuff and I didn't like people suggesting otherwise.

"I suppose, but even with the war coming, this is much more advanced material than I would ever give anyone your age." He tried this time to sound polite, more questioning than condescending.

I didn't respond. There was nothing nice I could say to him. The conversation on the couches had become stilted. Listening to us, to what I might say. Trying to gage if they would need to step in. Beside me, Azriel shifted slightly.

"How long have you been studying medicine?" He asked softly.

I looked up at, to make my annoyance clear. "Fae or human?"

"Both," he answered. Eager, too eager for my answer.

"I learned under a human healer for four years, and then was my own for almost two more. Rhys brought me Fae books starting in the winter. I did not begin practicing Fae healing until three months ago. Cassian was my first patient."

He looked thoughtful, as if weighing whether to push me or not. I put my pen down, surrendering to the onslaught of questions. Rhys had turned his attention even more fully to our conversation, I could almost see the question he wanted to ask.

"I would repeat myself on the complexity of this textbook." He tapped it fervently. "I wonder, about your training in the human realm. Are you just brilliant and unable to read, or are the humans more advanced than I ever could dream?"

I didn't respond. Feyre had advised me not to share my powers with anyone. Now though it would be very hard to do that, to say anything that didn't make me sound stupid or helpless. I couldn't look over to my friends for help. I wouldn't.

"Did the Cauldron give you divine healing knowledge?" Thesan said with half a smile.

"That is not what it gave me." I said quietly, though everyone heard. I picked up my pen again.

"Will you take the standardized test I give all those who wish to heal, before they can do so without an overseer, that is. Just to compare where you are, and what the humans have influenced in you?" He asked lightly.

I didn't even need to answer. "No, Thesan, leave her be. She doesn't want to join your flock. Harass her after the war." Rhysand drawled from his seat.

Thesan didn't look away from me, as if hoping I would contradict Rhys's announcement.

Nesta speared into the room. Headed right for me.

"Karly," she said. An order. I rose quickly, moving away from the warmth of Azriel. Just as quickly as she came, she stalked back into her room. She sat on the edge of her bed and looked at me with reluctance. "I'm sick."

Relief filled me, but it was quickly replaced by a new kind of concern. The Fae didn't get sick.

"What kind of sick?"

"That's your job to figure out." Nesta seethed. Her hands were shaking, and her forehead was a bit sweaty.

"Alright," I sat on the edge of the bed next to her. "What are your symptoms?"

"My whole-body hurts, like I overexerted. And I think I'm going to throw up." She looked at me intently, either for diagnoses or a reaction. "And," she whispered something even quieter, "I think something is wrong."

"Nesta," I started carefully. "Let me see if there's anything to heal." I laid a hand on her arm, but there was really nothing I could do for her. When the magic turned up nothing, I braced myself for the worst question I could ask her. "A likely cause of the symptoms you described is early stage pregnancy. Is there a chance that is causing your problems?"

To my surprise Nesta just shook her head, no verbal battery, just a no.

"Nesta, Fae reproduction is different."

"You still have to have sex, Karlene." Nesta snapped.

I thought for a minute. "Then I don't know what else it could be." I had been queasy all day, I thought it was because of the meeting, because of the intimidating High Lords, but maybe it was because we were Made or maybe it was something else.

I fetched Feyre, and before Nesta could declare something was wrong, Cassian sauntered in. Nesta explained her belief that something was wrong to both. They then looked to me, as if confirming that I could sense nothing wrong with her.

Azriel and Cassian disappeared to somewhere, looking for the problem. Nothing turned up.

Nothing turned up until morning when Nesta seized and vomited everywhere at collapse of the Wall.


	19. Chapter 19: Grayson's Estate

**Chapter 19: Tremaine**

 **Karlene:**

We moved to the Illyrian camp right after returning from the High Lord meeting. A group of us were going to Grayson's estate to ask them to house the humans who had nowhere to go.

My sisters and I had Fae guards and we were still taken, I didn't know what walls would really do. I was still a fan of my plan to spread the news, and have families plan to flee in the forest. I hoped Tremaine was continuing the work we started.

Grayson's estate was exactly as I remembered it. High walls and sour odor. Even worse than before, now that I was Fae.

I walked behind Elain, who had recovered her old demeanor significantly. She ordered that Grayson be fetched. And we were bidden to enter the little guard house.

It was agony waiting for Grayson, and for his father that would likely come too.

"You don't have to do this Elain," Nesta whispered to her. I wondered if the humans heard that whisper. Elain shook her head and told Nesta that she indeed needed to be here. We could ask Grayson ourselves, it was more likely that she needed to see him because she still loved him. My heart was pounding faster than it should have been. I was so, so nervous for Elain. Grayson could potentially break Elain's heart or her hopes with only a few words.

The first figure through the door was not who I expected. Tremaine. The same as before. Whole and with a grin on his face. He looked like he would come to me, push Elain aside and hug me, but then Grayson and his father started talking. It was more yelling than talking.

I should have realized that without me, Tremaine would continue to build the small resistance we had put together. Damn myself, I was staring at Tremaine so much that I wasn't listening to terrible things Grayson was saying.

"Don't you ever even look at her again." Nesta spat. I reached for Elain's hand and pulled her behind me and Feyre. Feyre I knew would tear this little room apart with a blink.

"Jurian?" Feyre asked. Another man had come through the little door. I did not know this one. Another long exchange where Jurian explained his plans occurred. Then the dreaded bargaining. The threatening to get Grayson's father to agree. I was itching to talk to Tremaine, to get away from the hounds and smell and the horror of this place.

I was so, so grateful that Elain would never marry this man. Even if she never married Lucien, or never loved anyone. It was better than being locked up. It was better than all this hate.

My group turned to leave, and Tremaine took a step forward, to stop me. Mor raised her blade, she had never seen him. She didn't know who he was.

"Mor," I warned. She lowered the blade but not her look of ferocity. Tremaine followed us out of the estate and a bit further. There was a small set of trees where Tremaine and I could talk privately. The others began debating how to get the wards on the estate without their knowledge. I gestured to Feyre where I was going, and she nodded. They would either wait for me or come back. Elain looked close to crying, but Nesta was comforting her.

"You're Fae," Tremaine said quietly. We had walked far enough that the others would have to try to hear us.

I nodded and sat under a tree.

"You're even more beautiful." He twisted a lock of my hair. It wasn't just brassy anymore but full of golds and ruby tones.

"I wanted to see you many times, but Night Court is at the top of Prythian and I can't winnow. I also didn't know if you wanted to see me." I admitted. I had leaned myself against a tree, and Tremaine had sat cross legged in front of me. He dropped the strand of hair, and took my face in his hands. It felt like he was looking not at me, but my soul.

"I don't care how you look, or what you are. As long as you're happy, as long as you're you."

He pulled me forward, so I could rest against him. I fell into the easy pattern. It was different now, my arms were longer and more squished, my body more solid with muscle. It wasn't quite the fit I wanted, but it was more comfort than I had hoped for.

"I will outlive you." My composure broke.

Tremaine hands rubbed slowly up and down my back "That's alright. After the war we will figure it out."

"After then." I lifted my face to meet his.

I had never kissed anyone as Fae. It made sense that the only person I had ever kissed was the first I kissed in this body. It also made sense that in the corpse of trees we did other things that we hadn't done with anyone else. It was even better as a Fae.

I walked out of the trees, Tremaine was headed the other way and didn't want to face to others. I didn't blame him. They would smell it too easily.

"He's really not my type." Mor said. She was the only who had stayed.

"Thanks for waiting for me."

"I always wondered why you didn't respond to Cassian's flirting, you had another beautiful male."

"I didn't respond to his flirting because I don't want to be flayed by Nesta, plus Cassian isn't my type." I shrugged. Cassian only flirted with me to piss Nesta off.

"Let's get back then, let everyone know what you were up to while the scent is still so strong." Mor extended a hand.

"Better than being miserable like Nesta." I joked. I took her hand.

"Indeed." Mor smirked. She winnowed us back to the camp and continued her path of embarrassing me. "Since Tremaine will be old one day, and Cassian isn't your type, What about Azriel?"

I raised both of my eyebrows. "Azriel is after your attentions."

"He will never get them." Mor said still smirking.

I shook my head and ducked into my own tent, away from any teasing.


	20. Chapter 20: The First Battle

**Chapter 20: The First Battle**

 **Karlene:**

The camp was a mud pit. I considered all my clothing new, since I was given a totally new wardrobe after moving to Night Court, and I didn't want to ruin any of it with said mud.

Thesan, the one with more healers than soldiers, had not joined ranks just yet. I hoped that the healing tents would be in better order once they did come.

From the knowledge that Jurian had provided us, they made plan for the coming battle. One that gave us a steep advantage. If only it was enough of an advantage that I wouldn't be needed. It was a foolish hope, every battle had casualties and injuries.

Nesta braided my hair for me that morning. She pulled it so tight, either so it wouldn't come out or because she didn't know her strength. I didn't comment, only thanked her. She set to braiding her own hair, ignoring me.

Cassian explained that after the battle, someone would come to winnow all the healers and their supplies to a spot. The Feyre and Mor would be standing on the sidelines, and they invited both me and Nesta to watch the battle. Feyre and Mor would join the battle should it go badly, and I couldn't stand to be too far to help. Nesta opted to stay with Elain, though.

By the time Mor offered her hand to winnow us, the first crash of the lines had already happened. Illyrians were swooping down to tear into the back of the lines. Tarquin's soldiers and the Darkbringers mixed together, sending sprays of killing black wisps into the soldiers beyond.

There were clear orders and lines and movement, but it was also chaos. Everywhere I looked a slash of red or a spray blood burst forth. Many times, I found myself taking a step forward, as if I could help the soldier who had just taken a huge slash to the belly. I was on a hill far away, and they were in the middle of fighting hordes.

There a spot where many Illyrians had been forced to land, and they were surrounded by pressing forces. One after another fell, and across the field Cassian soared for that spot. Whatever reason had prompted that first one to land, perhaps an injury, didn't matter.

Cassian landed in the middle of the pressing horde and started to destroy them. He cut his way through the pack, and that might have been the others mistake. To keep moving meant he was still alive. He cut down male after male. Leaving a bloody wake for the only other living Illyrian to finish behind.

A commander up a gentle hill caught site of Cassian's disruption and a part in the chaotic mass of people formed. No order was given, but everything else slowed as Cassian and the general locked onto each other.

Cassian ripped a spear from someone's chest and tossed it at the general, the general's shield was splinted; the male became frantic as Cassian ran towards him. Cassian plucked another spear from seemingly nowhere and tossed it in a perfect arch. This one impaled the general through the chest, knocking him from his horse. Before the battles around the pair could pick up again, Cassian was upon the male, beheading him with a quick swipe.

Everything swept back up into the flow and intensity it was before Cassian started his attack.

It was hours still before Mor was sent to winnow the healers and their supplies.

As soon as the enemy fell to their knees, I took off running down the hill. I had developed the ability to appear and disappear things to a pocket in the worlds. I had used this in the attack on Summer, pulling splints I had stashed there to set broken arms and legs. Bandages were needed too much to hide away in that situation, but on this field, keeping them in the other realm would also keep them clean. Those who were only half covered in blood were covered in mud the rest of the way. Even a Fae's natural healing would not keep away every infection this place would breed.

The surrendered soldiers stopped clawing for air. Tarquin had his arms raised in concentration of his task. Controlling the water he kept blocking their windpipes. Before I could get down to the pit that had become a dying hole, the healer's tents appeared.

I was already down there, and Cassian gave the order to start moving the injured up to the tents. Like at Summer Court, there were some that only a breath away from death and those I told the soldiers to leave, among the already dead. Some had small injuries, I wrapped those or handed them bandages enough to do it themselves.

There weren't enough healers, not until Dawn Court arrived, and so clogging up the tents with those who couldn't be helped and those who barely needed help wasn't smart.

I waded through the mud that had turned red. Rhysand walked nearby, turning many of the bodies to black dust that mixed into the mud.

There were only about hundred healers with true healing abilities. So, when all the injured were finally transported off of the field, I turned to the tents. Nesta had taken a position next to me, helping me by holding soldiers down or fetching things like water. Feyre was there a while too. Mor worked nearby but not with me.

I used every drop of my magic by morning. I used it even more sparingly than I had at the last time, since I had more experience. The Fae healed much better than I had given them credit the last time. I also had a list of the injured started. The disorganization of the healers and honestly the whole camp was driving me mad. The state of the injured was recorded next their names and Court. There was only one blood speckled list of injured, and one of the men who did not make it through the night.

I personally delivered them to Cassian, Rhys, Tarquin, Helion, and few others that I didn't have the energy to acknowledge or meet. There was no wall or door to knock on, so I had to clear my throat to get their attention. Feyre was somewhere else.

"Karlene, you should be asleep." Rhysand answered.

I moved towards the table and set the lists in front of him. There was another list of the dead who did not make it to the healers' tents, somewhere, but that wasn't my concern. Rhys looked at it briefly before handing it to Helion. It had members from all the courts that had thus far assembled. The court separation and organization was abysmal.

"We have never had a list of the injured before." Tarquin commented.

"I was told, but that seems a bit silly." I said evenly.

Helion tilted his head. "Before we have deemed it a waste of time and energy, why did you create it?"

"With all due respect to your men, most of them should stick to killing the enemy, not trying to help the healers. They want to help, but quite a few of them just get in the way. I had the eager, but otherwise counterproductive create the list. It got them out my way at the very least." I hadn't slept all night and the continued questions of how someone could help was not always helpful, but also annoying.

"How many of the injured will be ready to fight before the next battle?" Cassian asked.

"When is the next battle?" I countered.

"We don't know."

"I would estimate that every day you will get at least hundred more healed enough to fight. Not forever though, some will never be able to walk, let alone fight again. If there is another battle, then healing energy that could have helped the already injured will be spent keeping people alive. So, another battle will interrupt progress."

"You have not done this before," One of Tarquin's generals commented, it wasn't really a question.

"I haven't, so I'm sure a more experienced healer could give you a less ambiguous guess. The others sent me to deliver this and answer questions, for a few reasons. The main one being my relationship to Night Court. It wasn't only me who came up with the hundred a day for two weeks, however." I pushed. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, but I had a short temper today.

"I was trying to comment how put together you are in the face of all of this." The male apologized.

I chuckled. "I'm sure that was your goal. I'm going to sleep, unless any of the effulgent high lords or generals need anything else."

"Effulgent?" Rhys asked, with half a chuckle.

I shrugged one shoulder and made my way out of the tent.


	21. Chapter 21: The Second Battle

**Chapter 21: The Second Battle**

 **Karlene:**

We were given five days.

I had saved all of my power since Azriel found the band of soldiers marching into Winter, but I was far from replenished. I probably wouldn't be until I got back to Velaris. If I ever got back to Velaris.

Just as the sun was setting in the heat of Summer Court, we assembled to leave. Azriel, having seen what I did after the last battle forced a thin bit of armor over my chest. Just broiled leather, just enough to deflect a blow, but everyone agreed if I was going to help in that manner, I had to dress the part.

The tents were being built as the battle began. The glamor was ripped off, but this time there were no screams of outrage. Only a collective grind as thousands of swords were pulled from their holdings, as arrows were knocked and aimed.

I had been busy all day, and so the tight braid that had served me well last time was forfeited. I braided my hair down the back of my head.

Nesta, Mor, and Feyre stood at the edge of the outlook. It offered a view of the valley below, where so many would die today. Already the bowl of the valley was bringing up the screams and clashing noises. I hurried to the healing tents to check on everything.

The healers currently accepted me as their spokesperson to the High Lords. I knew many by name, and I tried to check with many of them before my own worry brought me back to the edge where my sisters stood.

"They are dying." I breathed when I beheld what was happening.

The injured or the dead fell under foot, some were hauled behind to the back of the lines if they were lucky. But they were still dying. The grass had been green before this began, and now it was another red mud pit.

My eye sought the familiar silhouettes, and armored helms.

No one had bothered to respond to my comment. The soldiers being sent to the back of the lines, some would heal in a few minutes, some needed more help than that. With the current situation, I knew we needed more fighters to win this battle. I stopped watching the fight and started looking for a way down to the valley.

There was a small path.

"Shit, Shit!" Mor cursed, just as I had taken my first step. I immediately saw what was wrong. The lines had broken. Hybern was cleaving our army apart. All the more reason to get down there.

A moment later Feyre pulled Mor a few feet away and they started arguing.

"Are you going to come with me?" I whispered to Nesta.

She shook her head without taking her eyes off of Cassian. "I will watch you too, though."

"Thank you." I whispered again and slipped down the rocky path to small pile of injured waiting to be transported after the battle to the healing tents.

As I ran down the path, I pulled up my magic, so I would ready to feed it into everyone, quickly. I didn't have time to knit the membranes slowly, it meant they would scar more. The faster something healed, the worst it scarred. It was better than being dead, though.

The first few didn't recognize me. I only smiled at them before laying my hands over their injury. They might have muttered thanks before turning away, turning back to the battle, but clashing and screams were too loud for me to focus on anything but flesh.

Soon a line of sorts formed. Depending on the severity, some people were pushed ahead of others. Everyone seemed relieved to have a healer, and to have an objective after being pushed to the back. Once they were healed, at least enough to make it to either the healer tents, or to pick up a sword they slipped away. I wouldn't have healed them in the order they came. Sometimes it's easier to get a rhythm, doing severed arms all in a row, but I wasn't in the tents and didn't have the luxury to choose.

Some I only handed bandages or set their arms. Those ones chose whether to continue fighting or hike up the steep path. I was not a commander and I did not know these males. It was not for me to comment on. Likely they knew themselves better than even Cassian or Keir or Tarquin did.

I only was doing this style of healing for what felt like a short time. It could have been much longer though. Being this close to a battle field, having the adrenaline, made time flow in funny ways. I was using mostly magic, so it made sense that my powers flagged quickly. I wished more healers would come here to help, but I wasn't sure it was safe.

There was a sudden hush, like when Cassian had challenged the general. Then a voice screamed in fear and desperation above the remaining sounds.

"KARLENE!" Nesta was pointing into the middle of the field. I could not see, I didn't have the vantage point to see where she was pointing, and she was too far away for any other information to be conveyed.

I had little doubt who it was that was injured.

Especially as I made to climb up on a rock, abandoning my line of patients to see what had happened.

Mor and Azriel stood back to back. A bubble around them as they pushed soldier after soldier to their death. Between them on the ground lay a collapse of wings that had to be Cassian.

"What's going on out there, missy?" One in line asked.

"The general has been badly injured." I answered. "I have to get to him."

"Which one?" a Summer Court male asked.

"Cassian." I breathed. I searched and searched for some pathway to open or someone who would know who I was.

There was a light push or maybe a knock on my mental shields. I opened them, even though I knew Rhysand could have blasted in easily.

 _Where are you?_ Rhysand's voice was urgent, strained.

 _Behind the lines._ I willed him to see the vantage point from where I stood on the rock.

 _Cassian,_ Rhysand started.

I cut him off, we were losing time. _Get him to me or me to him._

 _Mor is afraid to move him, his guts are hanging out. You're easier to move, I'll winnow you from the rock, ready?_ Came his reply. I braced myself to land between Mor and Azriel. It was certainly a good thing I wore the breast plate.

 _Read-_ I didn't even have time to finish my reply before darkness swept before me.

I indeed landed between Mor and Azriel. They had moved a bit further apart to give me room to work.

Cassian's guts were hanging everywhere. Like a sadist had not just sliced him open but ripped him apart.

He was still conscious. I shoved magic into him, the membrane of the intestines healing first.

"Karly!" Mor warned and body fell only an inch away, not dead. I swiped one of the many knives from Cassian's person and shoved it through the temple of the male.

"Fine," I answered.

I turned back to Cassian, I had to heal the guts before I sealed him up. Even as they were still healing, I twisted them back into the cavity. Pulling them and pushing them, I had only a small amount of cleaning solution and I used that to clear the mud from inside of his body. He will have to take something to ensure he didn't fall ill from the blood and mud that I couldn't get out.

Cassian let out half of a scream and half a groan as I pooled the last of his intestines into him and patted them down.

"Sorry," I said him as he lost consciousness.

I set to work on the skin. The muscle and inner layers could wait until we were in a different area. Not surrounded by people trying to kill him. I might have to cut the skin back open in a few minutes, but at least he wouldn't bleed open or lose any guts in the transport.

The last inch of skin healed. I turned my face up to tell Az and caught a mouth full of blood.

"Okay, he's ready to be moved." I yelled to Mor and Azriel. Maybe not the best move considering stealth, but I wasn't used to this. I hoped I never be used to this enough to be good at it.

Both parties started backing closer. When Azriel and Mor's back nearly touched, we vanished again. Right into Cassian's war tent. I had been straddling Cassian's legs, and I now did that on his bed.

Mor and Azriel were heaving deep breaths behind me.

I should be able to heal the rest of him from the inside out. I told them that, and then urged them back to the field. Where they were needed.

"Thank you," Azriel said hoarsely.

I laid my hands-on Cassian again. "Make sure there is an army for him command in the morning." I replied with a dip of my head. I wanted to ask him to send for Nesta, but I was terrified of what she might do, I didn't really need help either.

I had only piled the intestine in, I would have to reorder them. Thankfully, it turned out that I could do that without cutting him back open. I could heal his abs quickly and then be done with it, or I could be slower and repair all his muscle mass. The slower I went, the more of it he would retain. Cassian had lost too much blood fight again in this battle anyway.

The battle didn't last long after I started healing again. I was still bent over Cassian when, Mor and Azriel and Rhysand all rushed in.

"He is fine, but unconscious" I answered before they could ask. Mor strode to the side of Cassian and plopped down. She brushed the hair from his face lovingly. I hadn't bothered. My hands were sticky with blood well past my elbows.

"Where is she?" Rhysand asked, death was still laced in his voice.

Mor's attention snapped to that. "Feyre is on the edge of the cliff with Nesta." It might have been my imagination, but I though Cassian jerked at the sound of Nesta's name.

I turned back to the injury.

"She is not there and Nesta will not tell me where she is." Rhysand thundered. "Where is she?" This time the question was broken with fear. I turned again away from Cassian to look at my family. My vision swam slightly. I blinked tightly and turned again to the injury. If they kept distracting me, I might be here all night.

"I have things I have to do. If she comes here first send for me." Rhysand ordered. "Az, are you coming or staying." Mor just blinking, my eyes were blurry enough I couldn't tell if she was crying or some other emotion was causing that.

"I'll come. I think he's in good hands." Azriel clapped me on the back before leaving.

I closed my eyes and healed.

When his guts were arranged and all his membranes were once again intake, I started on the muscle and tendons. He had to have the tendons reunited. The muscle he needed too, but knitting them together could be done with little effort if I didn't try to preserve the muscle mass.

The more I did, the slower and more cumbersome everything became.

Azriel, Feyre and Rhysand were arguing, Mor was hysterical. Cassian was starting to come out of his unresponsive state.

"Excuse me," I'm not sure how that came out, my head was very foggy. "Fight somewhere else or shut up."

"Karlene," Feyre chided.

I shot her a glare that set Rhysand growling, or maybe he already was growling. All of them filed out except Azriel.

I finished knitting the muscles together, really the barest I could have done. I told myself I would take a break and get back to it.

"Karly," He sighed and helped me off the bed. It was large enough for the massive wings, so I had to crawl to get free of it.

Blood soaked my knees and thighs and arms and chest.

It covered Cassian's bed as I slid off it, into Azriel's arms.

"You're bleeding." He said as he sat me into a chair.

I shook my head. I wasn't hurt. There was just a lot of blood on me.

He pressed a bandage to my nose. A trickle had started.

"You used too much magic." He scolded. Then handed me a pitcher of water to guzzle.

Cassian again shifted. "He needs water if he'll take it. He lost a lot of blood." I gestured over myself since it was mostly his blood I had seemingly bathed in.

"Done," Azriel said. "How long until he can do stuff?" He asked badly.

I snorted. "Depends on what stuff he wants to do, how much water he wants to drink, but the day after tomorrow he should be fine to do most anything."

"Let's get you a bath and then into bed then," Azriel ordered. I was inclined to lean back and sleep right here. Azriel seemed to understand because he scooped me up, and I asleep before we made it to my tent.


	22. Chapter 22: The Caldron's Attack

**Chapter 22: The Cauldron's Attack**

 **Karlene:**

 _Grayson stood on the knoll, calling to Elain. He stood over Tremaine. Tremaine who was bleeding out. The song to Elain was a call of love and hope, to me it was a desperate cry. The twin songs weaved in and out of my mind, love and hope for healing. I just had to get there._

 _Tremaine was bleeding from wound I could not see. He was dying._

 _I had to help him._

 _I had to save him._

I jerked up out the sleep I had been in. My body had been too exhausted to bathe myself or even get into bed myself. Azriel had done both for me, or someone had.

I would crawl to Tremaine.

I rolled off the bed, my whole body shook from the impact of the ground. I was sore everywhere. The sheets and a few pillows came with me. I pushed myself to my hands and knees. I could feel the bruises forming. I was never going to make it in time. I made myself move, but the sheets were tangled. I couldn't move, and it hurt so, so badly to move. I pulled at the sheets hoping to be fast enough.

The song recoiled, the hope and dread it brought, Tremaine was gone.

I collapsed in a heap on the ground. I didn't have the energy to cry. My love was dead because I couldn't get untangled from the beddings.

 _Pathetic. Useless. Unable to save anyone._

I sat crumbled in twisted sheets and sobbed.

…

 **Rhysand:**

Feyre had taken off running. Pulling on the closest article of clothing and just ran. Barefoot in the mud and grossness of the camp.

Something was very wrong. Pure fear raged in her scent.

I was not Made, and I could not sense what was happening. I could not protect her.

"If you all can sense it," Azriel huffed, having run here himself, "what about Elain and Karlene."

Nesta broke into a run then. Barreled into the tent that we have given to Elain. I did not follow Feyre and Nesta in. Feyre was out too soon for Elain to be in there. Feyre who gave me a helpless, broken look. I winnowed to find Elain. Going in the direction of her scent.

How could this happen. How could Elain just vanish. How could I fail to protect my mate's sisters so many times? I had failed my sister, and I could not, would not accept failing Feyre's sisters.

The scent led me to her cloak. There was nothing else. No trace, she had just vanished. Nesta came running over the hill a moment later. Feyre only a second after that.

I could feel Azriel behind me, in the shadows, looking for an answer.

"The Cauldron took her." Nesta screeched at the cloak I had found, still warm.

"Karlene?" I asked despite myself. Nesta seemed to have no consideration for her littlest sister.

Nesta's eyes seemed to be alight. "She is blubbering on the floor of her tent. Had she not spent all of her energy healing Cassian, she would be gone too."

"You left her?" I asked again.

Smoke might have come from Nesta's nose if she had control of fire. "Elain was taken."

"Then we will get her back. I will go, right now." Feyre declared.

My heart seized. My mate going into danger. My mate, my love, my High Lady.

I gave my orders to them after they laid out their plan. It was cleaver and it might work, but there was no choice but to try. Elain was our family, and no one should be at the mercy of the king. Every second counted. "You protect her," I ordered Azriel, "and you all come back."

"With my life, High Lord." He responded. Feyre, wearing the slippery skin of Ianthe kissed me quickly.

I watched them vanish. Then I watched the spot where they vanished. I sent Feyre to the Weaver of the Wood, she could handle sneaking into an army.

I turned to where Nesta stood, Cassian had a hand on her shoulder. Offering comfort, but not wanting to violate their—well whatever it was.

I dipped into Karlene's tent. It was a mess. Karlene was in the middle of the floor. Mor rocking her gently. She was sobbing hard enough that she had to gasp for air. Armen squatted in front of Karlene whispering to her. Varian stood awkwardly, either waiting for Armen so they could leave, or for a job.

"It was an illusion. Tremaine is not hurt. He is with the humans in Grayson's estate. We have spies that have determined this."

"If the Cauldron can snatch Elain from the middle of a war camp, I think Tremaine could well be with her." Karlene blubbered.

"Feyre just left to get Elain, if Tremaine is there, she will bring him too." I offered.

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Karlene dissolved again. She wasn't just grieving for Tremaine's apparent death, but she was scared. Terrified for Tremaine, Elain, Feyre, and probably Azriel.

"I can't save anyone." She mumbled. "That's what it told me."

"It not only your job to save people." Mor chided.

Karlene set her jaw. I could tell there was an argument waiting to burst forth, but she didn't say it. Feyre and Mor were fighting and I could tell Karlene didn't want to add to it. I could tell Karlene bit her lip because she knew she upset herself, and didn't want to say anything she would regret.

We were all worried, all scared.

Tarquin knocked on the tent support. Karlene didn't bother to call him in or send him away. I gestured for him to come in, he was good enough to know that he should leave after he understood what was going on. Maybe he would take Varian with him.

"I couldn't help over hearing."

Karlene whipped her eyes, still sitting on the floor with Mor and Armen. Tarquin shifted his gaze to Karlene. He looked remorseful. He cleared his throat then knelt before Karlene, taking her hand.

"Healers walk the line of life and death with soldiers. They try to keep us on this side of the line. Cassian would have died without you. Do not think that the lack of energy following such a rough healing is a weakness or means you are not enough. We are all drained, it not your fault when you cannot keep someone amongst the living."

"My sister has been taken," Karlene snapped. Mor and Armen tensed. Most High Lords would have someone killed for talking to them like that.

"That's not the only reason you're upset." Tarquin said kindly.

Karlene looked away, breaking that heartfelt comforting moment.

"Let's get you some tea." Tarquin offered, and pushed up, off of the pile of sheets and out of the tent.

"I feel like a fool sitting on the floor." Karlene said to herself. I stepped forward. She had clearly fallen out of bed trying to get to the Caldron and Tremaine, even if he was never here.

She took both of my hands and stood, using a lot of support. I was inclined to scoop her up and put her back on the bed, but that would probably make her feel even more useless.

"Are you wearing Azriel's shirt?" Mor asked too evenly.

"Hours later and I can't even walk, do you think I could clean all of Cassian's blood off of myself?" Karlene answered, light heartedly. A good sign I supposed.

Mor had nothing to said back. She did try to sneak a smile to Karlene while she helped me tuck Karlene back into bed, albeit sitting up.

Karlene, smirking right back said, "I don't think he knows how to put women's nightwear on, only take it off."

Mor turned away quickly with a snort. "I didn't need to know that."

"Oh, it's only a guess." Karlene smiled.

Tarquin came back quickly and handed each of us a mug of some tea.

I hoped that there was long while before she had to heal again. I hoped Feyre or Az wouldn't be the ones who needed healing.


	23. Chapter 23: The Third Battle

**Chapter 23: The Third Battle**

 **Karlene:**

I spent most of the days healing or helping, Dawn and Winter Court joined us, and the burden of healing was alleviated slightly. They continued to look to me and another general of Dawn to communicate with the High Lords.

I didn't mind sitting in the councils and listening to the arguments. I had little to say, I didn't know war or troops or even the lands we were travelling over.

Armen, a few days later, found the spell to nullify the Cauldron. She needed all of my sisters and me.

We hauled ass, as one of the High Lords said, to the coast. The last stand. It didn't sound like it would go well. Before this war was truly started, all I wanted was for my family to live through it, and for humans not to be enslaved. Now, that I could help, I didn't mind risking my life or even dying if the rest of my hopes came true.

I worried about Elain, but after being taken captive by the Cauldron she wanted the thing gone too.

…

I knelt beside Elain, she was vomiting from terror. She couldn't do this. I was debating whether I could.

Nesta screamed again, screamed for Cassian.

The Cauldron erupted. Ash rained from the sky. A few were only half blasted, and their counterparts struggled to keep them alive, aloft.

I had to help them.

Azriel wrapped an arm around my middle. I had moved towards the edge of our outlook. "You can't help them. You are needed here." I fought against his tight grip. I had to do something.

I looked to Feyre. "I have to."

She nodded and Azriel let me go. I sprinted down the hill to the tents. The few injured Illyrians were already being taken there.

The battle had just begun when I skidded into the tents. People were being hauled in, bloody and dying. Thesan had much better healing systems in place than what had been going on before.

I lost myself in the screaming and bleeding and goriness. It was a battle of another sort.

…

Hours or minutes later, just as I was sewing up a stump of an arm, I was winnowed away.

Like when I had stood on the rock in Winter, I just disappeared of someone's accord.

"Karlene!" Nesta cried. "What are you doing here?"

I had been winnowed here. Nesta, holding the head of the King of Hybern was angled towards Cassian.

"Can you heal him?" Elain asked sadly.

I hadn't even noticed Elain. The area they stood in was smoldering slightly.

"How did you get here?" Nesta demanded.

"I think you winnowed me, Nest." I offered quietly.

Her eyes were molten with rage and something else. I set to moving, I skirted around Nesta and the head. Cassian had a lot of broken bones. It would take me a bit to get all of them right. Fae healed fast, so it was important to set them quicker than they healed.

"Karly," Elain called again. "Can you heal him?" She pointed to another spot I hadn't looked. Our father lay unmoving. There was no call of my powers to heal him. He was already dead.

I went to him anyway.

The man who was never a father, who never praised my skills of a healer. Never offered me advise or had a thing to say about Nesta's bullying. Who never approved of Tremaine or even acknowledged him as a person. The man who had lost himself when we lost our fortune.

He had died doing something, for this war, and for us.

He was dead, and whatever resentment I had towards him would swallow me if I didn't forgive him. I had no memory of him being fatherly, but it wasn't fair to hate a man who had tried in the end. It wasn't fair to hate a man who might have saved my sister's life.

He was my father, and I could offer him this forgiveness in death. I closed my eyes and let the anger I hadn't touched in so long go.

"I will heal Cassian, here." I kissed his forehead. May he find peace. I rose from where I sat before my father.

"It's not over." Elain said as she surveyed the valley below us.

I nodded, and knelt before Cassian who tried and failed to sit up. I healed his arm, which was broken in several spots. Luckily only his bones were broken, the tears were the scary parts in wing healing.

I started to heal his wings. They had taken not little damage. Only his broken legs remained when a scream cut through the field.

"Feyre," Nesta, Elain and I all said together.

Cassian shook his head. "It's Rhys,"

"Then I'll finish you later. You're not in danger of dying, even if it hurts." I patted his cheek and looked around for the source of the scream. The valley had amplified it.

Mor appeared on the hill, and then winnowed us to another ledge. Feyre was screaming and screaming and screaming into Rhys's chest.

My magic found the old wounds, but I couldn't help him unless he was alive. Similar to what I had felt a hundred times, but not quite the same. Like there was a chance, like he was in a limbo.

I fell before him. If he wasn't quite gone I had to act fast. Feyre looked up, and pulled only slightly back from his chest. Clutching at his hand. I laid my hands on his cheeks, his neck, his wings, his chest. His wounds knit beneath my hands, but he didn't breathe, his heart didn't beat. When there was nothing more for me to, I shook my head.

"What's wrong?" Feyre screeched.

I swallowed. "He isn't alive, Feyre. I healed his wounds, but that isn't what killed him."

"What killed him?" Tarquin asked, in a tone that suggested he already knew the answer.

"He doesn't have any magic." I informed everyone. In the time I spent healing, an audience had formed.

Feyre seemed to have an idea at that. "Bring him back." She demanded. I felt her own power start to accumulate.

"We can't," Helion said softly.

"Bring him back like you did me." She growled. Snot and tears were running down her face.

"You were human, he is not. It's different." Beron protested.

Tarquin stepped forward. "I will try. For all that he gave, before and now." He gestured to the Cauldron.

Lucien, who had also appeared, came up behind me to pull me back to the crowd. I let him help me to my feet and walk me back to Cassian. Lucien stayed close by, likely because Elain was here.

Cassian was supported by Mor and Az. Nesta still held the head of the king. I shot healing into Cassian and his legs were healed, his ribs were bruised, and all the bones would be weak, but it was enough for him to stand and walk on his own. Maybe with a bit of a limp.

While I was doing that, the other High Lords had come forward to offer bits and pieces of themselves.

"If we are all here, then either something went very right or very wrong." Rhys's familiar voice filled the ledge followed by a rush of nervous laughter, complete with Feyre's relived sobs.


	24. Chapter 24: After the Final Battle

**Chapter 24: Post battle**

 **Karlene:**

The Fae weren't bothering to heal the humans and I was desperate to make sure people I knew weren't among the dead or nearly dead.

Then Tremaine appeared. Scaring me so badly, but he was alive and that was all that mattered.

"Karly," His voice was hoarse, but I recognized it instantly.

Tremaine was here. He had fought in the battle. He was fine.

This was only the second time I had seen him since I was turned into a Fae.

I took him in, triple checking he wasn't injured, then hugged him. All but forgetting the man I was working on. Tremaine still had most of his armor on. His was more restricting than the Fae's, even more restricting than Tarquin's shiny armor I had admired every time he donned it. It was an effort to get close to each other.

"Tremaine," I was crying now. I had had no hope for a happy ending, for time with him. Yet here we were, on the other side of the battle. Seeing him fine was like finally being able to breathe.

I'm not sure how long we stood like that. Maybe an hour, maybe only a few minutes. A red-headed figure came running up the aisle towards us.

"You, Archeron." He pointed, then jerked his hand towards himself. "My brother was hurt. Come with me."

I detangled myself from Tremaine, straightened my clothes, wiped my tears. He waited, affording me that. "There's a line, I see to him after I finish this row." I pointed to the remaining three beds.

"No, Eris said to bring you now. That means now." The male walked closer, but Tremaine blocked his path.

"She told you, he can wait, or you can find another healer." Tremaine growled.

"Move," the red-heads voice was pure order. I flinched. Tremaine held his ground. Not a good place for him be, considering the fragile humanness of him.

"Tremaine, you should go handle your affairs." I said in low warning.

"Kars, if think I'm going to leave you here to deal with this." Tremaine didn't look at me, didn't break that glare with the Autumn son.

"Tremaine." The red-heads voice was a mocking hiss. "You should leave before you get hurt. Let your pretty Fae girlfriend fight your battles for you."

To his credit, Tremaine didn't react. He had respected when my wealth had grown far greater than his without complaint or desire for more. He respected the fact that I was now stronger and faster, and in all ways, more powerful than him now. He was not a proud man, and I was grateful this was the one I had given my heart to. That he didn't react, might have been the only thing keeping him alive.

Still neither party moved. Then without warning, the leash on the redhead snapped. He shoved Tremaine with his Fae strength. Tremaine flew, fast and hard enough that if he hit his head it would be bad.

The male grabbed my wrist, and yanked me to him hard enough my joints popped. I came off my feet stumbling to the ground. He yanked me up by my arm pits.

Then Tremaine was there. He made to slash the attackers throat, but with Fae speed, the red-head produced his own dagger and buried it in Tremaine's stomach. Tremaine fell to the ground.

He couldn't hold me after that, I ripped away from him with a strength that likely bruised him. My hands grappled for the knife, I would pull it out and pour all my healing energy I had left. If that wasn't enough, I would find Feyre or Thesan to help me.

My healing power wouldn't cooperate. It didn't flood him. Even while blood still spilled out of the wound, Tremaine was dead.

He had died before he hit the ground, his heart pierced by the male behind me.

Tremaine was dead.

I'm not sure when I started screaming, but people came quickly. My face pressed into Tremaine, desperate to bring him back to life.


	25. Chapter 25: Burial

**Chapter 25: Summer Court Visit**

 **Mor:**

Everyone heard Karly's scream. It was not sound I had ever heard from her before, but it was unmistakable. The only problem was everyone was still in the tent, discussing next steps.

Rhys could barely move, and Feyre had latched onto him. Cassian was injured, and Az was busy. Shit. That left me on comfort or protection duty. Whatever was wrong.

The scene was bloody nightmare. Eris and all of his brothers stood to one side, while Karlene was crouched over a body with Tarquin murmuring things to her, rubbing her back.

Bloody had been splattered all over Karlene as if she had bathed in. Tarquin who was out of his armor, was also painted quite red.

"What happened?" I demanded. An eyebrow raised at the Autumn hotheads. I fought to stay in the moment, for Karlene and for myself.

"Karlene refused to tend to Eris, and when I tried to bring her to him, that one got in the way." One the brothers said calmly.

"How dare you try to drag her to him. That's practically kidnapping." I shouted, maybe Feyre should have been here anyway. Honestly Rhys should have been here.

"If my elder brother, my heir, is injured he is my main concern."

"She is not in your court. She belongs in Night Court and you will not touch her." Venom dipped in every word, a threat sharp in my eyes as I looked at each of them.

I turned to Karlene who was sobbing harder than I had ever seen her, the other night when she had thought she sister and Tremaine was dead didn't compare to this. It was like reliving the last hour. Feyre thrown over Rhys. I had not heard much about Tremaine. She had shared some details, fucked him in the forest, but she wasn't obsessive like Elain with Grayson.

"Karlene," I crouched. My boots sank a bit in the pool of blood. "Tremaine is dead. Let's get you cleaned up. Then we can talk about it, then we can clean him up and send him on his way."

"Mor," Karly choked. "We have to bring him back to his mother. She-" then Karlene was sobbing again. Tarquin got her to brace on him instead of the dead body. Sobbing into the High Lord instead of her lovers unmoving chest.

"We can do that," I said quietly, "but we have to clean you up a bit first."

"Will you watch him until we can go?" She barely got the words out. Her breathing was shaking, and her tears interrupted her speech.

"I will set a guard on him." I offered. She nodded.

"Karlene, if he lived in the village you used to, his parents are likely in Summer Court." Tarquin reminded them both. Karlene started to crumple again. "I will send word to Cressida to find them if you'll tell me the names to look for."

"Renee and Tristan Evalar. He also has a little brother, only four. Tyler, he's very sick so it might be easier for to find them through healers." Her crying was stopping, all business now. Karly had fought for there to be medical care for the human population in Summer Court, perhaps it was all for Tyler and Tremaine.

When I had set the shaking Karly up with a warm bath, she stopped shaking. She was still crying, but her sobs didn't make her gasp for air. I went back to Tremaine, Tarquin had set him on a hospital bed and magically cleaned him.

"Who was he?" He asked me, when I appeared to move him to the Night Court section of the camp.

"They were in love, for years. They never got married mostly because there was no money, until Tamlin sent so much that her family no longer thought he was a good match for her." And now they never would. Another crime of Nesta's to add to ever growing list. She had taken what little happiness Karlene had found. Now Karlene would never get married to the boy she loved.

"I want to kill him, for hurting her, for touching her." Tarquin's voice was just as angry and cold as the day Summer Court had been attacked.

"I might join you, if we hadn't just gotten them to cooperate." I grumbled.

Karlene insisted on going to Summer Court, where Tremaine's parents had been located before her hair dried. Inconsolable, was a good word to use, I couldn't blame her.

The rest of her sisters were preoccupied with their own grief. Feyre had asked Karlene to help bury their father before we left, but she refused. Karlene had nothing to offer her father. Someone she had no memory of every being a father. Nesta had screamed at her telling Karlene how horrible a person she was and another round of insults, but Karlene ignored her. Whether it was the combined grief or the hate for her father finally bubbling up I didn't know. I hoped she wouldn't regret her the apathy towards her father years down the line. At the same I knew I would react similarly if it had been my father and lover were killed in the same day.

…

Summer Court had opened one of the palaces to the humans, only a thousand humans had been evacuated and the rooms they gave the families were larger than most of their homes.

The room Renee and Tristan Evalar shared with their child Tyler was large. Likely one of the largest rooms in the palace.

Tremaine was brought along and set in another room. Best not to winnow directly in with their dead son.

Karlene knocked on the door. From the way she did it, I wondered if the people inside would recognize the pattern, the weight to the movement.

An old man, with only one hand opened the door. From the way he angled himself, I knew he held a weapon just beyond.

"Karly?" His voice was gruff, but still disbelieving.

She couldn't respond, only let out a short sob before covering her mouth. Tristan opened the door wider, and reached for Karlene with his stump. He gave me a rough glare before letting me in too. The beautiful sword, he indeed had hidden behind the door, was not set down.

He led us into a dining room, that was completely separate from the rest of the living area. After we both sat, he retreated from the room and returned a full minute later with his wife, and child.

And a child he was. I couldn't believe the age difference between in the siblings, human siblings. All the Archeron sisters were no more than three years younger than the next. Feyre and Karlene only a year. I wouldn't be surprised if Tyler was twenty years younger than Tremaine. Maybe the age of his mother was one of the reasons Tyler was so sick.

He didn't look sick now. He threw himself at Karlene. Without a blink of time, there he was wiggling in her lap. But the mother, Renee, started crying. Karlene pushed out of her chair, holding Tyler aloft, and hugged the older woman.

"There is much that has changed since we spoke." The woman smiled and patted Karlene's cheek.

Karlene nodded, and then sat. The parents followed suit, Tyler again took up his perch in her lap.

"This is Mor, she is a high-ranking official in the Night Court, and one of my best friends." Karlene started.

"They said our ties to Night Court are why we got such a room. Well," Tristan snorted, " _rooms_. Until they said it, I've never heard of a Night Court."

"My sister is now High Lady of Night Court. It is through her, and me that the connection was determined."

"Nesta is a High Lady?" Renee asked, clearly fearful.

"No, Feyre. When she went away to my aunts' she actually was taken to Prythian. There she was turned into a Fae after sacrificing herself to end a tyrannical reign. Later she fell in love with the High Lord of Night Court, Rhysand. Mor is Rhysand's cousin."

"And you, darling, how are you Fae too?" Renee asked, setting a hand on Karly's.

"The person that my sister worked against, was not the head of the evil. The King of Hybern sought to continue the war, and my sister and Rhys worked against him. That angered him, and so he had Nesta, Elain, and I brought to Hybern to demonstrate a new magic he had found. A magic to turn us into Fae. It was not our choice, nor was it without bloodshed." Karlene swallowed. "We lived in Night Court while preparing for the war."

"And Tremaine is off at the war too," The little boy chirped. Karlene shook her head. Tears she had done a miraculous job of keeping out until then lined her eyes. "Where is he then?"

"Some of the Fae are very rude to those they believe beneath them. A High Lords son came to fetch me to heal his older brother. I was very busy and refused him as the injury wasn't life threatening. Of course, I should have known better than to refuse a High Lord's spawn. Tremaine tried," Karlene closed her eyes as more and more tears leaked out. "He got in-between me and the High Lords son and was killed for it."

"But you healed him." Tyler furrowed his brow.

"His heart was pierced. He was dead before I even knew there was blade in him." Karlene shook with sobs. "He survived the fighting, it was me that killed him."

Renee slide out of her seat and knelt before Karlene. "Darling Karly, Tremaine would have stood between any girl and a bully. That Lord's son killed him. He would have been glad to protect you. Glad to help you. I'm only glad that you're alright. We knew the risks of him going to war. I am so thankful he was with you in his final moments." Renee held out her hands and Karlene crumpled herself into the older woman. Tyler, wisely slipping out of the embrace.

Over the next several hours the pair of them only cried on the floor. Sometimes Tyler would sit and offer words of comfort, sometimes Tristan would. When night was just about to fall, Renee asked where her son was.

I floated between the Evalar's rooms and the room where they were preparing the body. They had hostile feelings towards Fae, but they did not see Karlene as Fae. It did not take long, but when they were done Cressida appeared out of no-where. She greeted them and offered to have the body taken to their cemetery where they could mark his grave however they wished. She also offered to have the body sent out to sea, as was custom in Summer.

Tristan whispered something I couldn't hear into his wife's ear, who looked long in Karlene's direction before nodding.

"Princess Cressida, we would like to bury our son here. We would also like to inform you that we would like to stay in Summer Court permanently. We cannot go back to where we had two son's and we will not move further away from Karlene." Tristan spoke like a soldier giving a report. He knew the chain of command and how to speak to superiors without any disrespect.

Karlene opened her mouth, as if to offer living in Velaris, but closed it. Of course, if she offered, we would honor it, but it wasn't really her authority to start moving humans into Velaris. Also, here it was a different scene, beaches and constant warmth. In the Night Court the weather was almost as harsh as below the wall, and the city would be likely be too much for the old couple.

"I'm pleased you'll be staying, but I wish it were for a more pleasant reason." Cressida recited. After the plans were made, Karlene wanted to stay with the Evalars. I wasn't inclined to leave her alone, I also couldn't sit with them all day. Cressida spent time with them, and me. I wanted so badly to burst forth and offer friendship to Cressida, but I didn't want to scare her away. Karlene would likely spend a lot of time here, so I could convince Cressida to be my friend over time.

…

 **Karlene:**

The inscription read:

Tremaine Evalar

The best son and brother

filled with hope and kindness.

A savior to all he loved.

I had written it. His mother wanted me to do it, since he would be buried in a Fae cemetery. The message in the stone was not something common amongst the poor so she had no clue how to memorialize him. Neither did I.

I hadn't cried that hard since the day he died. I made sure she liked it, and Tristan and Tyler. They all cried, even Tyler. I wasn't sure how much he would remember from this, or how much of Tremaine he would remember. That was what hurt the most. The stone and me would be the only ones to remember him longer than a hundred years


	26. Chapter 26: Winter Solstice

**This chapter is based on the solstice from ACOFAS, so spoiler warning!**

 **Chapter 26: Solstice, roughly four months later:**

 **Karlene:**

I was stupid. I thought after all of this time, it wouldn't hurt to watch all of the happiness. I was stupid for even getting upset.

When Cassian ran out after Nesta. She took the envelope of money, the present of books from Elain, and to my surprise she even took my present. I had gotten her a large jar of tonic that would negate the effects of any nefarious interactions.

It was meant to be a jab, but Nesta took it. Likely didn't have the money to buy it herself.

Still.

Cassian ran after her. Azriel was inclined to let Elain curl up right next to him, and Rhys and Feyre were off doing something especially sweet together.

Armen, even, had perched herself next to Varian, the latter doing his best not to swamp all of us in his scent.

I couldn't do this. I couldn't pretend to be happy when everyone had someone to be with. Nesta had the choice even if she didn't want it.

I wanted to scream about how unfair everything was.

No one, even Mor, who was far into her own bottle of wine, saw it. Not it was their fault. I normally didn't mind this much. I normally didn't feel like I was drowning.

"My cousin and sister are coming soon. They wanted you have some time to yourselves." Varian said to everyone who had not slipped away.

Right as he said it a knock sounded on the townhouse door. Elain rose to let Tarquin and Cressida into the warm.

Cressida and Mor made eye contact in a way that had Mor not been so drunk, she could have covered their blatant attraction for each other.

I let out the groan that I couldn't keep back.

Armen nudged me with her foot. "What is your problem?"

I chugged the last of my drink and stood, just as the others made to sit.

"I think I'll go make sure Cassian and Nesta don't destroy the whole city." I stomped to the door way, threw on my cloak, then Feyre's cloak and scarf. It was very cold and if I went up to my room I would just sit there and cry. Better to go outside, maybe someone would need healing. In Velaris, while few went hungry, many went without checkups or much medical care. Medicine just wasn't a priority to food or warm clothes.

Tarquin cleared his throat. "If you don't want us here, then we can…"

"It's not you I mind." I interjected. I opened the door.

"… leave. It is your home, I would hate to make you uncomfortable." Tarquin finished. Or that's what I thought he said, I had already shut the door behind me.

Tremaine would be angry I couldn't sit with my family. He would be angry at himself that I was still so hurt that I couldn't stand people falling and being in love. What a terrible thing love was. The endless fear and hopes you had for all of those you loved, yet being with them held too much good to refuse it.

Like being robbed of your sanity, in exchange for a healing that even I could reproduce.

Love was healing.

Love was healing, and I had plenty of it from and for my sisters. Maybe I would even say I loved the others. I had so much love in my life, but it just wasn't the specific kind I wanted, from who I wanted.

I watched Cassian flap over the sky. We were the only figures outside on this day. The only heartbroken among our little circle. He landed lightly, close enough I could tell the glistening on his cheeks wasn't from the flakes.

"Nesta always makes me cry too." I closed the distance between us and took his hand. "Come on, let's go find someone to heal. We'll both feel better."

His hand warmed my fingers as we crossed into the outskirts of the city. The paths were slick everywhere, but here they were less even and kempt so I almost lost balance a few times.

Here an old looking male huddled in the ally, wedged between the buildings hoping to keep warm. He was shaking violently. I could feel the pain in his leg from here. I sent a probe of magic to it, just to see if he was too far gone for magic alone. He wasn't.

Cassian asked if he wanted healing, no charge, and the male agreed. I laid a bare hand on his thigh, his leg knit together in seconds, the blood cleaning itself.

"Happy solstice," the man coughed. Cassian and I echoed it back.

We knocked on one door, where the lure of death was so powerful, I almost couldn't breathe.

"Thank the Cauldron." The healthy male said when I knelt before his mate. They had called a healer a week ago, but after an initial checkup, there was no more money to pay for the services or tonics. He had to watch his mate faded away. A pain even I didn't understand. Tremaine was gone too fast for me to save him. Perhaps it was mercy from watching him fade into old age and pass long before me.

I coaxed tumor after tumor from the male's body. Cassian held the other male as he wept. It wasn't the prettiest of operations, he had to cough each mass up and out of his body. His throat was already bloody from coughing so much.

I hadn't used this much magic for months. I also hadn't even used this much magic on one person.

When at last there was nothing else hurting his lungs, and his blood was clear I extracted myself. Cassian stopped comforting the healthy male only to have to support me. Not having to move from patient to patient, I didn't feel how draining this healing was.

Then he fell over his mate, only to thank us over and over. He then tried to feed us, well me. I shook my head. They didn't have enough money for a pain tonic, they wouldn't have enough money for all of the food I needed after healing someone so much.

Cassian flew us back to the townhouse. Not much time had passed, and Elain, Az, and Tarquin were all still up. Drinking, very drunk, but awake. Though Mor and Cressida had mysteriously disappeared. I slipped into the kitchen to finish off the dinner feast we had.

Elain came to sit at the bar, watching me shovel food into my mouth. I couldn't hear their laughter from in here.

"Feel better?" Elain asked, suddenly serious.

I nodded. "I could use a drink still." Elain smirked at that. After I had ate three helpings of pasta and some sauce I still couldn't name, she proceeded to give me a glass of very expensive amber liquid.

Cassian, who looked like he was trying to catch up to Azriel's level of inebriation, touted, "Water first, you did too much."

I stuck out my tongue at Cassian, but did drink a glass of water, which was on the coffee table.

I was too tired to stay up drinking with the others for very long at all. Elain looked almost sick from how much she was trying to keep up, so we both went upstairs at the same time.

In the morning, I went down stairs to make something for breakfast. Cassian and Azriel were sprawled in a couch, arms wrapped around each other to keep from pushing the other off the couch. Their wings were tucked in so tight. I draped a blanket over them even though they would wake up as soon as I started cooking in the kitchen. Trained warriors didn't sleep through the sound of metal on metal even ifs it was pots and pans on a range.

Tarquin was on the other sofa, but he was already bundled up, likely thought Velaris was near freezing since he lived in Summer Court year round.

True to my estimate as soon as the eggs were into the pan, Cassian and Azriel were sitting up at the table. Moaning and complaining about their head. I set juice and cups on the table which they groggily poured themselves.

Elain padded down the stairs shortly followed by Feyre and Rhysand. I was surprised Rhysand was here, he was usually off already getting to work. Tarquin sat at the table only after Mor and Cressida did. I would probably need more eggs.


	27. Chapter 27: Feysand Wedding-- 1 yr later

**Hello all,**

 **I also was inspired by a Tumbler post by Starfall-velaris for Feyre's vows. I think it's important I mention that! At the bottom I included the URL's of dresses closest to what the characters wear to the wedding, if you're interested, check them out!**

 **Happy reading, Court**

… **.**

… **.**

 **Chapter 27: Feysand Wedding**

 **One year later**

 **Tarquin:**

It was Rhysand and Feyre's wedding. Exactly a year from the final battle. As if they had planned it to give everyone something else to think about, instead of grieving. It was smart, it was kind.

They had asked me to be in the wedding. Rhysand didn't have as many brothers as Feyre had sisters, so he was looking for a match. Armen apparently had recommended me and Varian.

I stood in the graveyard, looking at Tremaine's stone. Beautiful, heartfelt words that would live here, not in Night Court, not in the human lands. I often wondered what about Summer Court had made the Evalar's feel so at home, in fact I had asked the couple, who still lived at the palace, that question. They had smiled and said Karlene. Karlene who was the sister to the High Lady of Night Court, who by all accounts should redirect her friends and family to Night Court. She had made the Evalar's comfortable enough in Summer Court that they stayed.

We housed them in the palace still because the age of the parents. Karlene visited as often as Armen to heal the old couple of their aliments and to spend time with the boy. I had personally picked the tutors for the boy, knowing that Karlene would be appreciative of it.

Karlene crept in behind me. I knew it was her. No one else came here, not even that Evalars. She set flowers down on the grave.

"You haven't been here for a while," I said quietly.

"He would want me to only visit him when I needed to." She said calmly. "I imagine today will not the be easiest."

"A man like that leaves a large whole." I offered.

"Yes." She sighed. "I also came because he loved bright flowers very much, and would be very jealous about not getting any."

"And you came to winnow the Evalar's." He prompted.

"Yes, the last time they did that was a year ago." She studied the stone, the ground before her. There was a long pause of silence until speech burst forward, "I came here today because I miss him. I miss having the normal visits and just sitting together or going into town together or just being around him. It's like having a ghost follow me around, but when I reach for him and he isn't there, it hurts. Getting ready for this wedding I've done it more times than I can count." She wiped one tear away.

"When I was under the mountain, I was very young, I still am. Only a few years in, my parents arranged an escape plan, and it wasn't successful. I was High Lord of a Court so suddenly, so young, I was trapped, but all there was in my heart was pain from losing them. I only have a few memories of them. My father was always working, and my mother was always entertaining. You are lucky to have so many memories of your love, even if it makes it hurt more from the absence." I hadn't meant to lay my thoughts my out so broadly, but I had to. I had to share my feelings even if she didn't need to hear them. Somehow I knew she would understand.

Another moment of silence. Karlene looked up from the grass and the stone and to me. "We better drink enough for them all." Her lips curved up, and she extended a hand.

I might have taken it a bit eagerly. But we walked out of the graveyard together, hand in hand.

…

The wedding was being held in large riverside state house. It had clearly been built with view and beauty in mind. It was large enough for thousands of seats, and the ceiling was only half domed, the other half was open to the night sky. Great windows on the river side showed the glittering of the city lights against the black water. Sliver lined the moldings and the walls were covered in swirling wall paper. With the river and the city to look upon, the wedding would be gorgeous, and that was without the giant collections of flowers, purples and blues of every shade flowers grew, and white roses tucked in every spot. Even the chairs were plush and tied with perfect bows.

The guests had filed in, and the coordinator was lining everyone up. Officials and the rest of the High Lords filling the front rows before the wedding party would enter.

Nesta and Cassian stood closest to Feyre, then Mor and Azriel, Elain and Varian, and then myself. Karlene was not here yet. The small children that would proceed them were growing impatient, but the coordinator would not start without Karlene.

Karlene's bouquet was here, they had handed it me when they went in search of her.

"Usually, it's the bride who holds up the wedding, not the little sister." Nesta drawled from her spot in the line only a moment before Karlene appeared at the top of the staircase. She had her dress pulled up, so she come the stairs quickly, and shoes in the other hand.

"Usually, a bridesmaid doesn't have to heal one of the caterers. Don't worry, I didn't get blood on the dress." She ran down the stairs and slipped right next to me. She dropped the dress and latched onto my arm, so she could put the heeled shoes on her feet without falling.

Karlene had been gorgeous at the grave in plain clothes, and nothing done to her hair or face. Now she looked spectacular. Her hair had been swept up and twisted elaborately. The angles of her face were even more sharp and sculpted.

Nesta, Elain, Mor, and Karlene were all wearing the same dress, but Karlene owned in a different way. The top was a swatch of black chiffon, from that spilled layers of fading night sky. The skirt looked like the dark of night was turning as it moved down from black to navy to blue to pale blue that skimmed the floor. Little crystals had been inlaid to look like stars, they were brightest and most concentrated were on the top of the dress, in the darkest of night.

"Ready?" The coordinator asked. Karlene looked up from straightening her dress.

"Me? yes, yes." She mumbled then let go of my arm and properly threaded her arm through mine. I handed her the bouquet. "Oh shit," she whispered. "I forgot about that."

"It's no sweat." I whispered back.

"Well I am sweating; do you know how far the kitchens are from here. And Kitchens upstairs! Who designed this place?" She hissed still flustered. The first youngling was let through the doors. They moved forward a step.

"How does my hair look?" Karlene asked, nudging my side with her elbow.

"Perfect." I answered, grateful for another excuse to look at her. She blew air through her nose in humor.

"Don't let me fall, alright. These shoes are more likely to make me break my neck than anything." She whispered again. A group of little girls was let down the aisle, throwing flower peddles.

"You wouldn't have so much trouble if you practiced in them." Elain said, poking Karlene in the exposed part of her back.

"It would have been unnecessary pain." Karlene gave her sister a look over her shoulder.

"You won't say that if you fall in front of whole of Velaris." Mor said, singsong.

Before Karlene could bite back about the shoes, the doors opened for us to walk down the aisle. I whispered, without turning my head, "I won't let you fall." We lead the way down the aisle, splitting just before the dais.

The officiant, Armen, talked about time, promises of companionship, protection, and love until the end of time. She talked about love for their Court and for their people and their family, but she finished with an antidote about their love for each other. I watched as Karlene smiled, wider than she had in a long time, Elain and Mor crying silently, and even Nesta blinked more often than necessary. Nesta also kept dropping her gaze to Cassian, before quickly looking back to the couple.

Feyre was dazzling, her dress looked like she had been cloaked by the stars themselves. Her skirt was full, but not a monstrosity of tulle. The front was clearly made to show off her body. The only time Rhysand looked away from her, was to wipe his eyes.

Armen prompted Rhysand to read his vows. Even I had to wipe a tear away after that. Then Armen prompted Feyre. Feyre didn't not bring out a small folded piece of paper, but a whole sheet, several. They were crumpled and a little yellow. She cleared her throat dramatically.

"Rhysand is the most handsome High Lord. Rhysand is the most delightful High Lord. Rhysand is the most cunning High Lord." Feyre moved on to the next page. Karlene, Mor, Cassian, and Azriel all had hands pressing into their mouths to stifle their laughter. "Rhysand is interesting, Rhysand is gorgeous, Rhysand is flawless." She again shuffled the pages. "Rhysand is a spectacular person. Rhysand is the center of my world. Rhysand is the best lover a female can dream of."

I was confused. Karlene met my eyes and mouthed, from across the stage: _I'll explain in a minute_.

Armen, who also was in on the joke that was Feyre's vows, pronounced them married. They kissed to thunderous applause and sped out of the hall. Nesta and Cassian following them. Mor and Azriel, Elain and Varian, then myself and Karlene bringing the rear instead of the front.

The outside of the hall was also for entertaining. While the inside chairs were being rearranged, people mingled and smiled outside on the docks and the patios of the building. Karlene was hastily explaining how Feyre had learned how to read with Rhysand's worksheets.

We stood together, in a line of the others while well-wishers inquired with Feyre and Rhysand. Some complimented the females on their dresses or commented on the wings exposed from three of the groomsmen. Other than the bride and groom, the most people stopped to talk to Karlene and me. It was mostly Karlene they talked to. They thanked her for healing them, some cried when they talked about the life of a loved one she had saved during the war or since. They kissed her hands, her cheeks. Some bowed to me, some didn't even notice me when they talked to Karlene.

When there was a lull in the line to talk to them, Karlene leaned her head against my shoulder.

"You're so popular." I commented.

"So are you."

"You're not a High Lord or Lady."

"Nope, I have a more important job." She winked at me. "A High Lord and Lady, and General healer. I keep 'em alive."

I laughed. "Very true. When we go to war to again, I'll be sure to keep you close."

"When do you think that will be?" She asked, eyes wide.

"It depends. Not for a long while I hope." I wrapped my arm around her waist and she relaxed a bit more.

The dancing started not long after that. Feyre had asked the wedding party to share a dance with them before the floor was opened up. When Karlene and I joined the floor, she was much shorter.

"Where are your shoes?" I asked quietly.

Karlene pressed her lips together to suppress a smile. "I left them in a dark corner where I will never see them again. Do try not step on my feet."

"Such demands from you today. I've never heard you even ask for anything until today." She placed her hand delicately on my shoulder, and took my other hand.

Karlene plastered on fake smugness, "weddings bring out our worst sides." My hand slid against the fabric of her dress, around to her back.

I snorted, lightly. "If this is your worst then I think we should be married next." The music started, and we moved together around the hall.

"Maybe, if I catch the bouquet, I'll have to get married within the year." She said in false seriousness.

"How about a year to the day, you can even pick out what ring you want from the treasuries." I offered. This might be a joke, but I was fully ready to commit to this female.

"It would take me more than a year to even go through one room. No, if you want to marry me, it'll have to be with a ring of your choosing." She smiled devilishly as I spun her.

"Well, I'll promote you too." I announced, plowing on with this fantasy.

"Oh?" she raised an eyebrow, mid-spin.

"Yes, a joint ceremony, becoming my wife and High Lady." I explained. I couldn't tell if her heart was beating so intensely from the dancing or the proximity. We had started to get closer and closer every time we reset ourselves after a spin.

Karlene took that and continued. "On a ship, though so only a few people can come to the ceremony. Not the whole city. We can do a parade or something after. You have three big cities, so something in each."

"Should I tell Cressida to plan it?" I asked, half hopeful her tone would change to seriousness, half scared it would change to something I didn't want to hear.

"Yes, tell her I want gladiolus and some sea flowers for decorations." She nodded, with that fake air we had started this conversation with.

I laughed again, mostly from relief of my nerves. "Is that all of your demands?"

"Well," Karlene lifted her hand off his shoulder to set a finger against her lips, pretending to think, "since I can only make them today, I suppose I can think of a few more."

"We should serve a dinner if only a few people are coming." I prompted.

"You're right. I'm so glad my future husband knows how to entertain. We should have," Karlene flicked her gaze up to the ceiling, thinking, "a chilled soup and a type of fish that's really long so a second one can be the table center piece." She smiled at the thought.

"But only two courses, so we can have a hundred types of dessert." I finished.

Karlene smiled, wide and full. "Perfect."

The rest of night they danced in a group. There were very few slow songs after that, and after Karlene's presentation job was over she started drinking. She only danced with me and the rest of the wedding party. Refusing dozens of offers. I grew sweaty from the heat of people and dancing. There was one offer she didn't dare refuse.

Tyler was dashing in a navy-blue suit. He had fought his way through to the middle of the dancing where we were and lifted his arms in Karlene's direction. She passed her drink to Cassian who drank it one gulp. She picked up the boy and began swaying with him. Only six years old and dancing with the prettiest girl at the wedding.

After a few dances, Tyler was put down. Karlene was very drunk and really shouldn't be holding him for fear of dropping him. He held both Karlene's hands and they danced that way for a few more songs. He said something to Karlene that she had to bend down to hear. A second after, she straightened and kissed him on the head. Tyler threaded his way out of the mob, leaving Karlene open again. The wedding party had stayed close together, Varian dancing with Armen, Elain with Azriel, Cassian with Mor, Nesta was not dancing but Feyre and Rhysand were close too. I hoped it wasn't because there was no one she knew, but Karlene reached her hand out to me, drawing herself closer as bodies were separating us.

She laid her head on my shoulder. With everyone around dancing wildly, we just swayed, in time to anything and nothing.

"You should go back home. You've had a long day." I said into her hair, close enough to her ear she could hear over the pounding of drums and the shriek of many instruments. She hummed her agreement to me. I led her out of the mess of people, but she stopped before we got much further.

"We have to wait for the send-off." She dropped my hand. "Go dance, I'll sit somewhere."

"There are a lot of people here and you're very drunk. Plus, without you I have no one to dance with." I smiled and grabbed her hand again. She didn't say anything, but let me lead her around to an empty table.

"You know, there are lots of females, and males, who want to dance with you. You are a High Lord, and nice, and hot." She slurred. Her brain seemed to catch up with what she said because she winced and covered her face with a hand.

I took the seat next to her and rubbed her back. She turned her head, seriousness written in every line of her face, the drunkenness pushed back as far as she could get it. "I can't give you any more than this. If you want to wait, a hundred years when I'm finally over Tremaine, then great. Until then, I can't do anything more with you or anyone."

I had known this was coming. There was a lot I wanted to say. How would she react to most it, I had no clue. "Rhysand waited five hundred years for Feyre, I think one hundred is easy compared. Plus, you have to visit me whenever you visit Tyler."

She furrowed her brow, trying to say what she meant when words alluded her in this state. We likely wouldn't even probably be saying these things if we weren't both a little drunk. "That's not what I meant, and you shouldn't have to wait for me to get over Tremaine."

"I will." I vowed. An easy promise.

Her eyes filled with tears. Tyler and his mother came tottering over.

"What's this? I thought you came to hide in the dark to hide your romance, not your tears." Renee said.

"Did he make you cry?" Tyler asked as he climbed into Karlene's lap. Staring daggers at me.

"No, Tyler. I'm just tired and drunk." Karlene sighed.

"Dad's drunk too. Mom put him in a corner and said we would get him later." Tyler chirped.

"Faerie wine is not the same as human drinks." Karlene sighed. Her terms, she could have said anything to tie her to the humans, _ours, before, back home_. She was finally accepting being a Fae. Renee noticed too, but did not comment.

"Dad said I should practice my complimenting tonight." Tyler changed the subject.

"Have you done well?" I found myself asking.

"No, I've been too scared to try." Tyler turned his whole body towards me.

"I have a secret to tell you." I said and leaned forward slightly. Tyler leaned so far forward he had to brace a hand on the table to keep from falling off Karlene's lap. "Karlene and your mom are the prettiest females here. It will be easy to find something to complement, and they're nice too. You won't get a rude response." Karlene rolled her eyes not very subtly. Renee had not heard his secret and looked interested.

Tyler got off of Karlene and came to around on the side of her. "Beautiful Karlene," Tyler started. Karlene looked down at him with concern, "I just have to comment on how your eyes sparkle under the starry sky. And how dazzling you are in your dress."

"Thank you, Tyler," Karlene cut him off, "but you stole those from Tremaine."

"He said I can use them. So, it's not stealing." Tyler said seriously.

"Alright, your mom now." She turned him around.

In the end, we left only minutes after Feyre and Rhysand did. Karlene assured me that they would not be going back to the manor, but to some cabin. A cabin, that after she mentioned it, she clamped her hand over her mouth. She told me she isn't supposed to tell others about the cabin. She wanted to walk back to the manor, it wasn't far, so I didn't object. She never put her shoes back on, and so walked the streets barefoot, luckily it was the cleaner side of Velaris.

She made me undo the buttons on her dress then shoved me out of her room. It was not-so early in the morning, the ceremony happened when the stars were in full view. Karlene opened her door after putting on very fuzzy and lumpy socks and a matching sweater that did little to cover her legs. She declared she was going to bed, her hair only half unpinned.

We stood staring at each other. She didn't move, only looked at me with a glaze over her face. Either drunken or from the magic of weddings. With that thought, I bid her goodnight, and after a teetering second, she sighed and shut her door again.

I should have kissed her, just once.

…

…

 **Hello All,**

 **I'm not sure if this allowed, but I found these dresses online, and they are the most similar to the dresses I describe in the wedding scene. I hope the URL's transfer correctly so everyone can view them. You'll probably have to copy/paste the URL's but let me know if it works or if you like it.**

 **The bridesmaid dress inspiration: **

**collections/marchesa-notte/fall-2018/collection/23**

 **Feyre's wedding dress inspiration:**

 **products/24186861-a-line-prom-dress-deep-v-neck-party-dress-train-pink-prom-dress-backless-wi**

 **...**


	28. Chapter 28: Human Project--5 Years Later

**Chapter 28: The Human project**

 **5 years after the war:**

 **Tarquin:**

The Evalar's, the elder two, had been getting sicker and sicker over time. As much as I hated the suffering, it assured Karlene's presence in Summer Court. I had moved them closer to the royal quarters, and given Karlene the queens chambers. She didn't know that there was a door that would lead directly into my room, or that there was no larger suite in the whole of the city. She was shocked when I showed it, personally, to her. She had asked to live in Summer Court permanently, or until the Evalar's passed away, and I couldn't resist giving her the rooms that were rightfully hers.

Karlene was hunched over her table. Books open and charts scattered around. There was a pattern to it, but not one I could pick out.

"What's all this?" I asked coming around to where she was scribbling numbers down.

"The hospital finances. There were many more donations that we anticipated this solstice, so we are trying to rework the numbers to make the hospital more independent of the Court, at least until the novelty of it wears off and donations aren't as frequent." Karlene explained without looking up at me.

I knew she was brilliant, in more than just healing but money and logistics too. "The hospital you invented."

"No, I didn't not invent hospitals. They are common on the main land, but I designed my own, for Velaris." She said then flipped through papers to find some other number.

"Do you do this often?" I asked, trying to get her full attention.

"What deal with large amounts of money? I guess I do. I managed a lot for my dad, now I help Feyre and Rhys with some projects when they are busy." She finally looked at me. At the flowers I had, already in a vase.

"I don't think I can put them on the table like I planned." I smiled.

"There are lots of empty surfaces in the bedroom." She pointed with her pen and then bent back over the papers. I walked in the direction she pointed, set the vase on the nightstand and came back to the table.

I straighten a stack of paper. "I've never known anyone so enthused with paperwork."

"I like organizing things, it's like a puzzle." She thought for a minute. "Like diagnosing, but no lives will be at risk if you're wrong, just time and money, which I can live with."

Her hair was piled on top of her head. One chunk had fallen out and was coiled at the base of her neck. It was an effort to press the conversation on and not that little chunk of hair. "That makes my job seem much easier."

A musical laugh filled the room. "No, you have to make the decisions. I'm just the grunt that figures out how to make a vision come true, the planning side of things."

I considered, "is the hospital the only thing you've worked on?"

"No, I helped with the planning of the River Manor, figuring out how we want the training room to the kitchen and the garden to the offices, and my goodness, how many bedrooms we really need. Feyre is a brilliant artist, but she never dreamed of designing a house so grand." She set the report she was reading down, wrote a final figure, and circled it.

I pulled a chair out across form her, and sat. "And you have?"

"I have a mind for organizing, so yes. Sometimes I can't help it. I've thought of exactly how I would organize my own house many times. The River Manor remains Feyre's, but it," she flicked her eyes up searching for the right word, "flows better with my few adjustments."

"How would you reorganize the palace, to flow better?" I asked, just to see if she had thought about.

"Which one?" She smiled devilishly. Indeed, the High Lord of Summer Court moved between three palaces depending on the actual season, the Evalar's and therefore Karlene had moved palaces with him over these few years.

A notebook appeared on the table. Karlene flipped it to a page without touching it. Inside was the layout of the ground floor of the palace. Below that was a redone one. "I haven't done all the floors, and I've only changed the problems I've seen with flow. Not a total redesign."

I flipped through the pages, there were changes in them, almost all the changes were things I had noticed, but a few showed flaws that I had overlooked. I kept flipping until the pages were sealed shut, not an invitation to go through her whole notebook. Maybe she was working on something for Night Court that I didn't know about, something for the Illyiran's which I knew next to nothing about. I set the book down.

I noticed then I had not commented on any of her work. And she had been watching me very closely. "Organization, huh?" I said at last.

She blew out a breath. "I just like fixing or reordering things."

I was not like that at all. The random winds and rare big waves were more like to me than the numbers and straight lines that sat before my mate. Strange that the Cauldron would pair me with her. Maybe it knew that the wild ideas I came up with would only get done with her. I knew there was a wild fun side once that paperwork was done. There were many similarities between us, but that difference was so strong that I sometimes doubted the bond. The bond that she did not yet know about.

"What are we doing for your birthday," She tilted her head. Eyes dropping just a bit.

I was told she would be back in Velaris by the time my birthday came around. I said as much. She shook her head sadly. "I don't want to take away from any energy I could use to heal them."

"If you ever want to go to Velaris, I will winnow you, or Cressida can." I offered. Not that I didn't want her here, but I didn't want the others here. They would notice how much I deferred to her, looked at her, loved her. And they would tell her.

"I don't need to go to there. I'll leave for a few months soon enough."

"What?" I blubbered.

Her expression changed to one of light amusement. "Nesta and Feyre are pregnant, I'll come back only for a week or two in between the births." She sighed when my expression did not relax. "They are my sisters, it's my job be there to help them."

"To deliver the baby." I clarified. If her sisters were already having children, did that mean Karly wanted kids now. Amongst Fae, siblings tried to have their kids as close together as possible, usually within a couple decades of each other if only to keep the generation lines the same. It often didn't work, but it was something more common and successful amongst humans.

"And after. I'm confident that Feyre won't want outside help, so it will be a lot of family taking care of the baby." She explained.

"I'm surprised you aren't sitting next to her the whole pregnancy." I commented. Always grateful that she chose to be here.

"I would be if Rhysand got his way," She smiled at the memory of whatever fight that was. "I won't leave Renee and Tristan until I have to. I'm not sure how much daily healing is improving their symptoms."

"I could always arrange for other healers to see to them when you are called away." I offered, halfheartedly.

She cocked her head, as if picking up on the reluctant to give her a reason to leave. "That's very generous, but they are private people so I'm sure they'll be fine for a month or so."

She would come back until the Evalar's passed, and even then, would she visit to check on Tyler, she let him live his life. He was barely into his double digits, but with human children they were adults at eighteen. It didn't seem right to strip Tyler of parenting and adult guidance, Karlene would have to visit.

A thought clanged through me, was Tyler going to be a copy of Tremaine, would she fall in love with this little brother when he got older? Would I have to wait another hundred years for her to notice me. It was starting to seem like a bad idea to have her family hosted here. I would have to watch her fall in love for maybe generations of Evalar's. Flitting back to Night Court to deliver her sister's assorted babies.

I could tell her. She clearly enjoyed her time in Summer Court. The words she said to me at Feyre and Rhysand's wedding clanged through me, as they did every time I thought about telling her about the bond. _"I can't give you any more than this. If you want to wait, a hundred years when I'm finally over Tremaine, then great. Until then, I can't do anything more with you or anyone."_


	29. Chapter 29: Tarquin's Birthday

**Chapter 29: Tarquin's Birthday**

 **Renee:**

I had never liked boats. The last time I was on one, I was pregnant with Tremaine and fleeing the human Queens. This, I was told, was a pleasure barge. I then tried to tell a giddy Karlene, that I was too old for pleasure excursions.

She had laughed at that and pulled me on the boat.

On the first floor above the water, there was dancing and loud music, and the further up or down you went, the more cushioned, private areas you could find.

Dinner was served on the beach. Then some people fled back to the palace, more than ready to be intimate with whoever they had attended with, others filled on the boat. Tyler and Karlene hurried ahead hand in hand.

There was no glass in the windows, only swatches of silk or thinnest gossamer. The boat had flowers tucked into every nook and cranny. The walls painted with tiny seashells or waves.

I wondered if the High Lord got sick of the sea themes. I certainly did. Our suite had not one seashell or wave.

I found a seat on the edge of the dance floor and watched Tristan and Tyler and Karlene twist and swing around. A very different flow from those around them.

Many of Karlene's Night Court Friends had come. The High Lord and Lady, swayed slowly in each other's arms. They might have been at a party with a hundred people, but to them they just under the stars with each other. That was true love.

Mor and Cressida were dancing increasingly closer, with hands roving in very intimate places. No one payed them any mind, they were far form the most nefarious. The others did not make it to Tarquin's party.

Earlier in the day, Karly and Tyler and Cressida made Tarquin a cake. They baked it and frosted it themselves. That was the real reason I had come. I was the cake carrier until they were ready to reveal it.

When one of the songs ended, Tyler came bounding over. He informed me that Karlene was bringing Tarquin to the center of the party so that we could wish him a happy birthday.

I raised the cake to give to Tyler, warning him to slow down and be careful. If he dropped it, likely one of the Fae would catch it before it hit the ground.

Karlene pulled Tarquin over to where she and Tyler agreed to meet, she held Tarquin by both arms, pushing him before her. A small crowd formed around the pair, Tyler facing the group.

"Happy Birthday!" He chirped. Everyone echoed it. "We made it ourselves."

Tarquin complimented the decorating and dessert was served. No one cut into the cake that they made, there were too many other desserts.

Karlene trailed Tarquin, letting him pile her plate higher and higher.

She was laughing and flirting, slightly. She was happy. After knowing Tarquin, I was happy for her too. I was getting sicker and sicker, and every time Karlene left, I worried I wouldn't make it long enough for her return. I was glad Tarquin would be there for her and for Tyler.

He doted on my boy more than I ever could.

When they started dancing again, Tristan pulled me to my feet. Tyler dancing with me as Karlene was spun and twirled by Tarquin. It was good to have her so care free. It felt like I hadn't seen her so happy in a long time.

She had always held herself in reserve around people she didn't trust absolutely, something Nesta likely bullied into her. Either Nesta's foul teachings were slowly being erased, or she trusted Tarquin.

The music slowed, and everyone hurried to find a partner. A careful placement of songs, to get some of the people to slink into the dark before they got too drunk to make decisions themselves.

I commended the conductor. I had never been to party like this until I moved to Summer Court. There was something about the richness and letting what little worries ebb away with the music and wine.

Wine that we couldn't drink, well maybe a sip. They only served faerie wine, and that wasn't a good choice for anyone who wasn't a faerie.

Tristan had more than proven that at Rhysand and Feyre's wedding.

How strange to be poor farmers, and now parting with High Lords and all powerful Fae. How strange that I didn't have paralyzing fear just being around them. Tension, a bit of fear, if I wasn't in public with ones I didn't know. Tyler would never have the prejudice, how could he with an older sister as a high Fae.

He would know to love everyone, no matter things they couldn't control. For that alone I was glad he was here.

…

 **Karlene:**

All night I watched Feyre closely. Even as I danced and twirled with all of my friends, Tarquin most of all. Ever since Feyre's wedding, we had always made every excuse to dance together. We didn't always dance the prettiest or respect each other's space, but we always had the most fun. Making up fake plans or commenting on some of the more feral fashion choices.

There was always fun with Tarquin. Perhaps I had always needed more of that.

Varian had commented how serious and reserved I was during the war, compared to now. Now where my hair flipped and coiled however it pleased, without me batting it back into place.

I was turning into a wild Summer child. I loved it.

I didn't even mind getting on the boat with so many with water manipulation. I had done a good job of being busy anytime there was a beach party though. Not being able to swim was a scandal at my age.

Feyre, I watched because she had told me this morning that she was pregnant. Finally, I wanted to shout. She was keeping it a secret and had been for a several months already.

Nesta and her pregnant at the same time. Albeit, they didn't live together anymore. Nesta had kept herself in the little house that Cassian owned. I didn't blame her. The cities were a lot. I was glad of the palace, a happy medium, though, not too crowded but not a tiny little town in the middle of a mountain range.

"Lovely, Karlene." Varian called from somewhere. Tarquin twirled closer to where he was dancing with Armen. Armen who didn't dance unless she was especially drunk. "Why do you always let Tarquin dress you? I have much better options."

Tarquin had dressed me. It was an odd habit of his, one I think he copied from Rhysand only recently. Tarquin always put me in blue. This outfit was flowing peachy gossamer with blue and purple and pink flowers sewn into the cuffs and edges of the two piece set. The top had long flowing sleeves with a cut right down the middle, so my arms were more bare. A strip of my middle was exposed, and the pants had similar cuts down the sides. Exposing my legs and giving more room for flowers.

It was a gorgeous outfit, everything he gave me to wear was pretty, and I was more comfortable in it than many of the styles in Summer Court.

I was just too human to let myself be so, very exposed. I wondered if Tarquin designed the clothes himself or where he got them. He seemed to do more shopping for me than himself.

I danced for the whole night, slipping back to shore with Feyre and Rhys. We bid each other good night and they winnowed back to Night Court, and I trudged up the beach to my room.


	30. Chapter 30: Nesta's Baby

**Chapter 30: Nesta's Baby**

 **Karlene:**

In the six or so years I had been a Fae, this was only my fourth Fae baby, if you counted Illyrian babies as Fae. First births were always more intimidating than the one that followed, and Nesta was having the first baby in our generation. How her labor and delivery went would likely be representative of all the Acheron sister's labors.

I almost wanted to turn down being the primary midwife for this birth. It was a lot of pressure and I was more interested in meeting my niece or nephew than keeping everyone alive and healthy.

Fae births, I had also learned, took three times as long. Cassian had started to fly Nesta to the main house, the panic from her water breaking lead to him forgetting that Nesta had developed the ability to winnow. They still stayed in the little house in the mountains when they weren't needed in Night Court. Mor had winnowed into the palace in Summer Court to get me.

Nesta was laying in bed, everyone standing around her.

"Yes well, I'm not interested in someone else, Karlene is coming just give her a minute."

"You really need someone here, and if somethings wrong in Summer Court, you know Karlene won't leave." Feyre countered, rubbing her own swelling belly.

"I'm right here." I said, and threaded through our growing group of family. "Tell me what happened."

Nesta launched into a tale about how she had taken one step outside and her water burst. Freezing to her almost instantly. Cassian had swept her up and into the sky without even a word from her. It was late winter, and the liquid had frozen to her before she could focus enough to winnow.

I gave Cassian a look of annoyance. Nesta's pants had icy patches sticking to the skin. He had the decency to look ashamed, but he didn't stop wringing his hands. I'd never seen him so nervous.

"Run a room temperature bath, only fill it a few inches." I instructed. "Take off the clothes aren't frozen to you. I'll be back with my things." And also, warmer clothes for myself. I was fighting shivers. In the breezy Summer Court clothes, even the natural warming powers on the house weren't quite enough to stop my teeth from chattering.

I shepherded everyone but Cassian and Nesta out of the room, and slipped into my own for nice fleece lined leggings and super soft sweater. I had missed wearing such soft clothes. The silky things Tarquin gave me to wear were nice, but not made for warmth. I rolled up my sleeves before I even left my room. I would be very upset if I got them wet so soon. I grabbed giant fluffy socks too, but didn't put them on yet.

Nesta had settled into the bath, the water still filling the tub. I switched the water's flow, so it came out the spout at the top, but unhooked the spout so I could direct the water on to her legs, and her belly. Warming the water until the ice melted and we could slide her clothes off without hurting her. Every few minutes, I turned the temperature up until she was taking a hot bath.

"I'm turning pruney." She whined.

Cassian helped her out and wrapped her in a towel. I pulled a nightgown out for her to put on.

"Try and get some rest. If your contractions get worse, let me know. If not, I'll be back in a few hours to check on you. I also suggest you use this time to eat." I sighed and pushed out of their room.

I headed down stairs to the kitchen and made myself some tea. I really should follow my own advice and eat or sleep. There were voices in the nook and I assumed Azriel and Elain were talking about something while something scrumptious was baking. It was a favorite spot of theirs.

"When was the last time you made yourself tea?" Rhysand asked from the nook. I practically jumped. "Tarquin has a very attentive staff. Mor also says you have a very large set of rooms. Even bigger than Feyre and mine."

"I think Tarquin likes to keep me close." I answered and poured the hot water into the cup. I walked to the nook and slumped into a seat.

"Exhausted already?" Mor smirked.

"Cassian means well, but I swear he doesn't think anything through." I sighed and inhaled the warm steam.

"What did you mean Tarquin likes to keep you close?" Feyre asked, head leaning against Rhysand.

I considered lying, the truth would sound inappropriate. "He gave me a room with a door that connects our bedrooms. I think he's worried he'll need healing in the middle of the night." I answered blandly.

"I think he's more concerned for you than for himself." Mor said with a smirk. Always the one to tease me about boys. I rolled my eyes.

"I hardly think Tarquin is that concerned with my safety." I countered.

Mor tapped her fingers on the tabletop. "He asked to come, after the baby the is born, to meet it."

Interesting. "What did you tell him?"

Mor shook her head. "It's not up to me."

"And, before you roll your eyes again, it's not up to us either." Rhysand said. "It's Cassian and Nesta's baby not ours. Though if I was going to other High Lord into my house after a birth it would be Tarquin."

"Varian is quite good with children, Cressida is not, but I would imagine Tarquin is too." Armen appeared from nowhere and helped herself to tea too. "He is also so smitten with Karlene that I don't think he would even look at the baby." Armen drawled. She poked my arm.

I rose from the table. "It is not like that at all." I gritted out. My cheeks flared red, and so I took my leave. I was not about to be teased by all of them because of Tarquin's actions.

…

I spent the night beside Nesta, taking turns with Elain to help her breathe and wipe the sweat from her brow. Feyre, whom Rhysand desperately tried to send to bed, sat nearby and worried. She was desperate to help, but there was little for her to, and even less that she could do with such a large belly in the way.

Nesta was supported by Cassian and Mor as I pulled the child from her. She stood, using the power of gravity to help her along. The gray child screamed louder than any I had ever heard.

When all was once more calm, I cleaned the little one, Cassian watched over my shoulder. I doubted he had ever even held a baby until I placed his son in his hands.

Nesta never asked to hold the baby, even when Elain held him before her. She was too wrecked from the labor and pregnancy to do very much at all. I dressed him in a small outfit, careful to pull his wings through slots in the fabric. What joy he has brought to us in such short hours. I felt so full and happy, much more than when I had delivered any other baby. To think I would get see him everyday, and I would have another nephew in only two months.

He was the most perfect thing in the world. My beautiful little nephew. I knew we each felt the same as we passed him gently from person to person. He snoozed happily, with his mouth open, while we stared at the prefect little one. We hopped for his sweet future, a better life. Better than we ever had. We hoped for life without war or any struggle. While it was unlikely there would be such a world, I knew Feyre and Rhys would do whatever they could to make it come true. I would too.

He was perfect. He was so, so prefect.

Nesta's little boy, with dark wings and darker hair, was so loved. But Nesta was too tired to do much. After the birth she only lay in bed, staring at the ceiling or sleeping while the baby was passed around. She didn't bother to tell us a name or acknowledge Cassian at all. She only slept, which I suppose was well earned. I doubted she got much sleep, as birth was painful. I was reluctant to give her much of a pain relief tonic, since she had such a terrible history with chronic abuse of substances. I gave her a bit anyway, but kept the bottle in my own room.

The next day, it was the same. She barely looked at the baby, but to feed him. Didn't chat with anyone, or kiss Cassian. She had no fire, and while it was possible that she was truly just tired, I doubted it. And since I doubted her vacancy was something more, I pushed her. Trying to reel her back into herself before she was too far gone, like last time.

I pushed and pushed for a week, and all I got was that she wanted her baby taken care of. She didn't care to change diapers, did not want to dress him in little outfits, didn't want to bathe him or play with him. She didn't want to feed him, but that one she actually did, until Cassian asked me to find another way to feed the baby.

I had a theory that Nesta didn't think she was worthy enough to be a mother. Our mother was barely one to us, and Nesta likely didn't think she could do a better job. She believed Feyre, Elain and I could do better than her. She didn't want to mess her baby up, and so thrust the job to me, mainly.

I knew it was possible to make a type of milk enriched for baby's consumption, but I hadn't expected to need it. I went to Madja for a recipe and she gave me a long list of ingredients to dump into a vat of cow or goat milk.

Having taken care of the baby all night, so Cassian could sleep, I sent one of the new servants Feyre had decided she needed after all. They had few jobs beyond cooking and cleaning, so they were more than happy to go shopping for me. They almost exclusively worked at night, or when they wouldn't be seen around.

Since I had to stay in Night Court for Nesta, I wrote to Tarquin, telling him that I wouldn't be returning until after Feyre gave birth. He had written back to say that he would look in on the Evalars for me. I couldn't think of something to write for a response other than a thank you. I was missing his company much more than I cared to admit. Perhaps there was more to Rhysand's teasing than I thought.

I would have to help Nesta, have to find a way to reach her soon. But having not slept, it was far too easy to drift into sleep myself.


	31. Chapter 31: Borrowed Time

**Chapter 31: Borrowed time**

 **Karlene:**

After writing to Tarquin I fell asleep on one of the many couches. I haven't bathed, and I hadn't changed. There was likely spit up on me too, so I was embarrassed when Tarquin shook me awake.

He wasn't supposed to be here. Nesta had flatly rejected him coming. I think I was just as disappointed as Tarquin was at that rejection, and I made sure Armen said as much when she went to Summer Court weeks ago.

"Karlene, Renee isn't doing well, you need to come back to Summer Court." He said gently.

I sat up and looked at the gathered people, Azriel, Rhys, and Feyre. They all looked somber. I looked back to Tarquin. "How bad?" I asked.

"None of the healers I have asked to attend her had returned with hopeful time frames." He answered. "They expect she will pass within a day or two, even with considerable healing."

I felt my jaw drop. This was because I had taken away a near constant source of healing. She had declined to death in less than a month. I had been keeping her alive, I had been keeping her functional.

Why hadn't she asked for me, or any other healer. But I knew the answer before I could even ask the question, the Evalars were private people. They knew that they would die one day, and while Tyler was still young, they had had a hard life. Not sending for me could be because of many things, one of them is that they couldn't write. Renee probably didn't want me to sit at her bedside for the next year, keeping her alive in body.

"I'll change, and we can go."

Tarquin shook his head. "She won't care what you're wearing, just that you're there." He extended his hand. We really were going to leave right this second, it must very, very bad. I took it and we instantly disappeared into shadows and mist, only to arrive in very bright room.

"My baby boy, I need you to watch Karly. She will be very upset after I'm gone, and she will watch after you." Renee smoothed Tyler's tears. "I love you very much, you have defeated all the odds, and now you will grow up without being hungry ever again, and you will never feel the cold of winter. I am so happy you will be able to live the life you want to. I want you to do great things, but I want you to be happy first. I love you baby."

Tyler murmured the words back and slipped off the bed, giving me room to talk to her. He hadn't even turned his head, maybe he was getting more observant with his other senses.

"You smell like baby puke." Renee coughed then, a hacking, terrible cough that set me moving towards the bed to catch the bloody phlegm with a cloth. "When you have your own babies, let them have their own identity, don't you name them after someone long dead."

I laughed, nervously at that. I don't know what I wanted for my future.

"Don't forget to live your life too, you aren't just some healer, Karly. I love you, sweet one." She patted my cheek as a couple tears flowed down my face. "The High Lord, needn't' hide from me."

Tarquin took a step closer. "I just wanted to give you privacy."

"And what if I wanted to tell you something too?" Renee launched into another coughing fit. I leaked some healing into her, if only to stop her throat from hurting. "Karly, could you give me a minute with the High Lord."

I nodded and rose on slightly shaking legs. I had seen so, so many people die. Yet this was first one in almost six years. Maybe it was a terrible trade in the balance of things. As one life I'd brought into the world, one must leave. How horrible that Renee would never meet my children, Tyler's children. How horrible endings were.

Tears spilled and spilled from my eyes until I had to lean against wall. I couldn't see straight, and I couldn't get enough air.

I couldn't imagine being without the guidance that Renee gave, the steadiness was going to be gone. Dead. In the ground like Tremaine, or shoved out into the Ocean like the Summer Court residence she is.

I composed myself before I went into the main sitting area. Tristan was beside himself. She wasn't even dead, and he couldn't say a word. A healer was sitting with him now. I nodded to him, and sunk into a chaise. Tyler curled into me and I laid with him, stroking his hair until the shock and hurt would leave. If it would ever leave.

Soon after, Tarquin exited from the bedroom and sent Tristan in. Tarquin ordered food and sat with us, really with me. He pulled off my heavy socks which I couldn't reach without waking Tyler. He had only stopped crying to sink into unconsciousness. I silently thanked him, but he didn't leave.

He sat, and sat, until I picked Tyler up and laid his in his own bed. I needed my own comforting then. Tristan did not emerge from the bedroom, so I settled next to Tarquin, who stroked my hair as I had done with Tyler.

The beautiful sunrise was not representative of my disposition. I wanted to sink into nothing and cry. Tarquin, was not awake, but he had banded his arms around me so that if I stirred even a little he would wake. I didn't move, I had fallen asleep with my head on his chest, the fabric of his shirt was still damp from my tears.

What a terrible day.

The door to the bedroom opened and a red-eyed Tristan exited. He mumbled something about being gone and I knew the healer's predictions were accurate. Renee had not made it through the night. I had not been able to thank her for keeping me alive, for keeping me sane, or giving me some light in my life. I had not been able to say anything to her. And she had only told me to remember myself, and to let my children have their own names.


	32. Chapter 32: New Normal

**Chapter 32: New Normal**

 **Karlene:**

I hadn't planned to leave for Summer Court, Nesta and Cassian needed all the help they could get. Now, Tristan and Tyler's need outweighed Nesta's.

I told Tarquin I was planning to stay until Feyre went into labor. Before I had asked every time to come or go, but he had always been adamant that I didn't have to ask to come or go. He did say he appreciated being notified of where I was, but not because he wanted to control my movements.

Tristan never recovered his demeanor. He stopped doing anything but sleeping and drinking. I had done similar things when Tremaine died, and having something to do that got me back on track. Tristan had no job or obligations, no expectations but to raise his son. I had been filling in that job more and more. I worried about him increasingly.

A week after Renee passed away, Tristan's heart stopped. I had been reading a story to Tyler so that he might fall asleep. Tristan had been sleeping more and more, and through the walls, my power felt the stalling and stop of his heart. It felt the need to pull someone back from death, but as with Renee my victory would have been fleeting. All he wanted to do was hold her hand again, joke and be with his son. Tyler was well taken care of, and as much as I hate to say it, nearly grown.

I finished the story I was reading, thankful that Tyler was fully asleep. I tiptoed into Tristan's room. I had to make sure. He looked peaceful, he didn't cough himself to death, but I knew his death was just as painful. Death by broken heart.

I stood staring and staring. My true father and mother were dead. Tyler was the last Evalar. He was all alone. How could I possibly tell him? I should wake him up, so he could say goodbye.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how be strong for him. I didn't know what to do. I wished Tremaine was right here. I needed him, I needed help.

I didn't know when I sunk onto the floor, crying silently about the dead. That's all I did anymore.

…

It was very early in the morning, Cressida knocked on the door to the Evalar's suite.

I opened the door and smell of death funneled out of the room.

"Oh, dear." She extended her arms and I fell into them. More tears rushed out, tears I thought I had run out of. "Let me go get people to take care of this."

"Tyler has to be able to say goodbye." I got out.

"Let's do that first, then." Cressida smoothed my hair. "He's not awake though, so I'll send for Tarquin and Varian." I nodded and she extracted herself.

I tucked my feet under me when breakfast was laid out. It was an incredibly bright spread. Fruits of every color and shade. Juices and teas of even more vibrancy. I ate a scone, just a plain tan. It fit my mood more than the rest. I knew Cressida would try to shove food into me until I did eat, and I wanted that even less than I wanted to eat.

Tyler woke up and sat himself at the table. He didn't comment on his father's absence, as if he had accepted that his mother's death had broken him. Tyler would be an orphan. I knew it was one of the more likely outcomes, but I always imagined that Tremaine and I would take him in.

"Tyler," I started when he finished eating. Tarquin and Cressida watched me closely. Varian was explaining the situation to the courtiers. Giving the reason why the High Lord had canceled all of his meetings. "Your father passed away last night."

"He's dead?" Tyler furrowed his brow and huffed a shallow breath.

I nodded my confirmation. "Do you want to say goodbye?" My voice broke.

"He's dead, so he's not in his body anymore." Tyler said, more of a question.

"I think that's how that works, yes." I pressed my lips together.

"I don't need to say goodbye, because he can always hear me now." Tyler smiled a little. "I could talk to him right now, and he'll hear me, Tremaine and mom too."

I nodded. "I hope so."

In the days after, I could barely take care of myself. I was presentable and put together outside, around tyler, but after all of that I just stared and wanted nothing.

Tarquin took too much notice. Sitting with me until I fell sleep, reading, still there when I woke up. He sat in the large bathroom when I bathed, afraid I would drown myself in the bath. He was always there. I liked it, somehow. It was exactly what I had gotten so angry about. Not having someone to fall asleep with, hold me when I cried. Someone who knew I what I needed and wanted.

There was less than a month until Feyre gave birth, and I stopped pretending I didn't want to be near him. I started sleeping in his bed, sitting in his office when there wasn't someone else there for him to talk to.

…

 **Tarquin:**

"We can do something fun tomorrow." I offered. "Whatever you want." We were laying in my bed. As was somehow our new custom.

"I've actually have been meaning to ask a favor of you." She propped an elbow up so she could watch my reaction. Her movement pressed her into me more. I had an enormous bed, but she still had be so close. She needed to be so close, I needed it too.

"Anything," I said, expression blank, ready for anything she could say. I had been wrong when I thought this female was predictable and bookish. She was just as prone to throw her agenda out the window as I was.

"I want you to teach me how to swim." She declared.

I had been ready to hear everything but that, "you don't know how to swim? How can you be-" I stopped myself. "Of course, let's go right now."

Her smile was small, relief, but also shame.

"It's not your fault if you never had a chance to learn, your parents weren't the best." I amended.

"Feyre tried to teach me once, but I wouldn't get the water." Eyes were laced with fear, vacant in a way that told me she was back in the spot where Feyre had likely tried to shove her into the water. "It was the only thing I ever refused to learn."

"And you're ready now?" I asked tentatively.

"I can't live on an island without knowing how to swim. And from the shock in your expression, I'm probably the only one who doesn't know how in the whole of Summer Court."

"There are maybe a few younglings who don't know how yet." I teased. She smacked my arm lightly.

We would not go right then. In the morning, I would take her to my retreat. A place on a cliff, overlooking the sea and prefect for parties. Of course, we would be the only ones there if she was learning how to swim. Tonight, we would lay in my bed and read together.

It was a wonder I never noticed, Karlene was busy and had used that to make excuses to avoid all other gatherings in the water. She hardly ever looked comfortable on a boat, and never had I seen her at a railing. I could not imagine the fear of being surrounded by something that you had no control over. Knowing how to swim such a valuable lesson and agency, especially for someone who lived on an island for part of the year.

Karlene had begun her knew hobby of reading for pleasure, but every time something funny happened in her books, she interrupted my reading to share it. It was another endearing quality I loved about her. She was so excited about everything. She loved learning and life. If I was being honest, I did little reading when she lay in my bed with me, choosing instead to watch her read. The ticks and expressions she made at every happening, the curves of her body when she couldn't lay still. It was entrancing and entertaining. Especially now she was herself again. The initial grief was ebbing again.


	33. Chapter 33: Swimming Lessons

**Chapter 33: Swimming Lessons**

 **Karlene:**

If the prospect of getting in the water wasn't terrifying enough, then wearing this tight suit was. Maybe the real reason I have avoided the water was just so I didn't have to wear this. It was tight and uncomfortable. No one would be at the pools that Tarquin was taking me to, well, except Tarquin. I'm not sure the tight material cutting into my thighs was my best look.

"Elain would have a heart attack if I wore this in public." I said before opening the door from my bathing room, now my changing room.

Tarquin chuckled and extended a hand to winnow us. We were going to a private pool area he had somewhere in his territory.

It was gorgeous. The retreat was sitting at the top of the cliff. With lattice furnishings scattered around the patio. At the center was the largest pool I had ever seen, but with the ocean right below us, the water pool seemed pointless. I could tell from the waters coloring that it was deeper towards the middle, some of the edges even had seating carved into it. One end had seating that came up to a ledge that cups and bottles of alcohol sat behind. Across the middle was another ledge that water pulsed off, right into the ocean below.

I took a step backwards. Tarquin stopped my retreat with a hand to my back. "There is no one here. I have full control over the water. You can touch on the edges, and you said you wanted to learn. Forever is a long time to go without being in the ocean."

"Easy for you to say, you could probably swim before you could walk." I bit back. My heart was raging in my chest. I could trust Tarquin. I had never had such a private time with him, we were completely alone, and completely terrified was not how I wanted to spend the time.

I took control of my fear, I had to. I sat on the edge of the pool, dipping my feet into the water. Tarquin wadded in. All the way to his chest. He extended a hand for me to follow him.

"You can touch." He assured me again.

I pushed off of the edge and slinked into the water. It was a delightful feeling even if the fear of drowning was in the back of my mind. Even if the memory of the Cauldron was screaming at me. But this wasn't Hybern and this wasn't the Cauldron. I was fine, in full control of myself, and there was plenty of room to move and swim around. I was not shoved into a muddy pond by our house and I was not shoved into the Cauldron. This was water, but it was a pool, it was different, it was safe.

I was safe. I was with Tarquin.

"Swim to me," Tarquin said. I gave him an exasperated look. I didn't know how. That was the reason we were here. He gestured with his arms what to do. He was still in the region I could touch, so I half bounced, half swam to him. He complimented me and then instructed me to do another type of swimming. Most importantly he told me how to propel with my legs and to swim over the area where I couldn't touch.

I pushed up on the floor of the pool and started kicking and pushing the water around, trying to keep my head above the water, and move. It worked, kind of. When I was in the middle of the pool, I broke my pattern and swallowed a gulp of water. The water shot out of my throat before I could fully swallow it. My strokes lagged, and the water was somehow supporting me, keeping me from sinking.

"You have to keep going, when I'm not around, you likely would have stopped swimming and drowned." Tarquin called from the shallows.

…

We were there all day. I learned all kinds of techniques including floating.

I washed the salt water from my hair and pulled on pajamas. I normally wore day clothes when I walked around the palace. I had to walk a bit to get to Tyler's room to put him to bed. If felt odd to be so relaxed in a palace, but I pretty much lived here, and I was tired.

When I shuffled back into my room, the door between my bedroom and Tarquin's room was open. I had spent the night in his bed last night, but that was because of my grief. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. We had spent the whole day together, surely, he was sick of me.

"Are you sleeping in here?" He asked, when I peeked my head in. He was reading a book.

I thought for a minute. My body was very tired, but I wasn't ready to end the day. I picked up a book of my own and thumped on to the soft covers. It was too hot for even sheets.

"I'll just read for a while. I don't want to get my pillows wet." I twisted my still wet hair up over the edge of one of his pillows. He gave me an odd look and suddenly my hair was very dry. The water leeched out of it by magic.

"You never ask for anything outright." He chuckled. I hadn't meant I wanted him to do that. I thanked him and opened my book.

Swimming was hard work. I barely read a page before I drifted into unconsciousness.

…

I woke up with my face pressed into Tarquin's arm. His other arm was draped around my back, tracing shapes into it. It was so very bright in Summer Court.

I rolled away from him and stretched thoroughly, then rolled back to my spot. I used his arm as a pillow this time.

"Good morning." He said and kissed the top of my head.

One of my hands had rested on his collar bone, just naturally going there. I traced the long since healed break on it.

"How did you get this?" I asked. He looked at me funny. "The broken collarbone?" I clarified.

He was still looking at me a bit quizzically, as if he couldn't believe I knew where the injury was. I nudged him to remind him to answer. "I got it under the mountain."

I met his eyes again. There was a lot of pain and unsaid things there. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Your sister saved us from the worst of it. How did you get this, it seems to be your only blemish?" Tarquin picked my hand up. The hand that the Ravens sword had sliced. Right in-between my thumb and forefinger, it had cut all the way to where my thumb rejoined the other bones of my hand. It was far from pretty, but pretty hands weren't important among the Fae.

"I was told not to talk about that incident. Night Court secret." I smiled lightly, and apologetically.

"Just tell me, that the person who did it is dead." Tarquin asked with quiet malice.

I nodded, "It was not a clean death."

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it.

"Mor is here, Feyre began her contractions this morning, and she is waiting for you to wake up, so she can take you." He said, still holding my hand.

I groaned and laid my hand down completely. "It's a good thing I slept in today. I didn't sleep for a week after Nesta gave birth."

"Well, Rhysand is not as bumbling as Cassian, he could help you." Tarquin offered.

"He's more likely to bite my head off, and you know it."

Tarquin banded his arms around me. "Then you'll have to stay." He said in mock seriousness.

"Five more minutes," I smiled and laid my head, again on his chest.

After a moment, "Do you really have no other scars, but the one on your hand," he asked.

I twisted, so the spot on my head was exposed, "I have two on my head as well. People like to bash it against something."

"What do you mean?" he asked, tensely.

"I had my head banged against the side of the Cauldron and a bookcase within a few months of each other. It's just a raised line, now." I took his hand and ran his finger along the raised masses on the side of my head.

I braced myself on my elbows. Starring him down. "Why did you ask a question that was just going to upset you?"

"I needed to know." He said simply, then teetered on saying more, with a puff of breath added, "Because I love you."

It was my turn to teeter. My eyes dropped to his lips. I was foolish and silly. But I wanted to kiss him, I had wanted to before, but now I could hardly resist. He loved me. What harm could come from one kiss? Were we really going to wait a hundred years like I told him at Feyre's wedding? I don't think I could wait that long.

I lowered my face to his.

The first kiss was quick, almost chaste. As if asking each other if we really wanted to do it. I broke the kiss, afraid I had made a huge mistake. Tarquin's hand threaded through my hair, pulling me to him once more. The next kiss was longer, more need than question.

When my hand started moving of its own accord I shot back to reality. This was not okay. I could not kiss a High Lord.

I pressed my fingers to my lips. If only to keep them to myself, and slid off of the bed. Practically running to Mor without so much of a sorry.


	34. Chapter 34: Feyre's Baby

**Chapter 34: Feyre's baby**

I left the first day that Feyre started having contractions. The Fae had much longer labors, so I wasn't technically needed for a few days. I had to get away from Tarquin. After Renee and Tristan died, I had dropped the level of propriety that I needed to keep between us.

I had slept in his bed. I had kissed him.

He had only been comforting me, and distracting me. I had taken advantage of his kindness. It would be a miracle if he ever let me come back to Summer.

The whole family was here. Cassian and Azriel took turns running into the city to get whatever food Feyre decided she could eat. Rhysand never left Feyre's side. I could tell that Feyre needed the space, as much as I needed him to leave, so I could tell her what happened.

Elain was with Lucien in the human lands, but she would be back soon. Likely for only a few days, if that. She loved the human lands, and Vassa gave her many jobs that made her fulfilled, it gave her a purpose other than helping Feyre. I wasn't sure why she went so far south when Lucien was there. Last time I had talked to her about it, she had made a face when I brought up being around Lucien all day. It wasn't a lovely look. It didn't matter who she was with or wasn't with, as long as she was happy. I had been under the impression that she and Azriel were intimate. I hope she wasn't as confused as I was.

It was four days of this. Of me sleeping on the couches in their suite, Azriel sitting nearby, offering tea or something every time I awoke to some noise. It was four days and nights of sitting near Feyre and helping, where Rhysand would let me.

It was a different sort of tension as with waiting for Nesta's body to be ready for birth. Feyre was High Lady, and where Cassian had not known what to do or how to help, Rhysand was overly helpful and overprotective. He knew we would never hurt Feyre or her baby, but seeing her in so much pain drove him into some state of primal dominance that was difficult for everyone else. Azriel, I knew would be the one sitting next to Feyre so I didn't have to every time, but Rhys had made it clear that Az was stay on the couches. I had never seen him so feral.

Somehow, Feyre got Rhysand to leave her for a few minutes. Likely to go get her something. Azriel was getting dinner from one of Feyre's favorite restaurants. Before I could even begin my transition into the story, Feyre demanded I tell her what was bothering me.

"Karly," Feyre prompted when I didn't answer. She was lounging on the couch in her suite. She and Rhys had very large rooms.

"I kissed Tarquin." I blurted.

She raised an eyebrow. "Was it a good kiss, or a regretful one?"

I drew my brows together. That was the problem. It shouldn't have happened, but I wanted to do it again.

"If this is about Tremaine, Karly." Feyre started, but I shook my head. I would always love Tremaine, but he would want me to live fully. It had been six years, I could kiss anyone I wanted, except High Lords.

"I just shouldn't have kissed him. It jeopardizes my position and I don't want to make Tyler move here." I buried my face in my lap.

Feyre sucked in a hard breath. I watched her. Reminded her to breathe and counted out the breathes for her. She finally sagged as the contraction ended.

"Tarquin is a good male, he won't blame you or take it out on Tyler. Did you run away after you kissed him?" My cheeks flushed at her question. "Then he probably feels guilty himself." Feyre finished.

"I kissed him." I shouted in protest. Feyre gave me a long-suffering look, as if to remind me that we were far from alone in this manor. I blushed again.

"You have to talk to him. Soon." She ordered. I almost dissolved from the prospect.

I pushed it aside. I really did need help. "What do I say?"

"Well," Feyre sat up differently. Angling for an attack. "Do you want to do it again?"

"The whole reason we are having this conversation is because I shouldn't have done it in the first place." I yelled again. This was too much.

"Yeah, but he's only the second person you have ever kissed. That has to mean something, you shouldn't dismiss him because he's a High Lord." Feyre advised.

The door opened and both of us tried to look like we weren't having a conversation about my feelings. Mor plopped onto the couch next to me. "Well, you are being much too loud for me not to hear this."

I grimaced. I was so embarrassed I could barely move.

"Oh please, Tarquin is hot. He is also young and single and sweet. Perfect for you." Mor smiled. "At least to get back into the swing of things."

"Mor," Feyre chided.

Mor smirked at me. I was suddenly reminded of when she tried to get me to like Azriel as more than a friend. "It's not good for anyone to suppress their feelings. You have to tell Tarquin how you feel." She lectured again. What a hypocrite. She only told Azriel about her feelings towards females after Cressida and her were an item. Though maybe, having kept her feelings to herself for hundreds of years, she regretted it, and she didn't want the same for me.

Feyre again slid into a tensed position and Mor took a turn helping Feyre breathe by counting for her. When she finished the contraction, I checked the time again. Rhys had been gone for ten minutes, and Feyre's contractions were picking up significantly.

"How much longer?" Feyre moaned. The first complaint I had heard from her.

I smiled slightly. I guess she had faults too. It was early afternoon. "I wouldn't be surprised if he was here in the morning."

…

It was barely night fall when the contractions led to Feyre being completely dilated.

Feyre, ever the warrior, pushed him out faster than I had ever seen. She was desperate to meet her little one.

I pulled the baby fully from her and wrapped him loosely before placing him gently on Feyre's chest. I wanted to oh and aww at the little one too, but there were a few more things for me to do before I could.

I had done these last steps so many times, that I could do them with slightly blurry eyes. They waited so long not just for each other, but for this moment. Six years of trying to have a youngling and he was here, and he was healthy.

Only a few minutes old and Illyrian wings burst from his back. They were the tiniest and most precious things I had ever seen.

After the room was again clean, and the baby had been cleaned and dressed, we all slipped from the room to let them have a few minutes alone with the little one.

"What do you think they are going to name him?" Cassian nudged me.

I had no idea, but I was sure it would be brilliant, and so I didn't want to speculate.

I bathed myself and then went to find the rest of the family. They were all in the main sitting room. They had broken out drinks and a dessert platter. For all of the warriors and working out everyone did, we never ate healthy in this house. I hadn't expected anyone else, so I was in clothes I slept in. Comfy shorts and sweater, and giant thick socks. I suddenly felt very under dressed, as Tarquin and Varian were here.

"Karly," Az rose to pour me my own glass of some burning liquid. My hair was wet and unbrushed. This was not where I wanted to have this conversation, in front of everyone.

I took Azriel's seat, as the only other one was on the other end of the couch Tarquin was on. After I sat, I realized if I had sat on the same plane as him, then I wouldn't have to look at him.

"Who does the baby look like, in your opinion?" Varian asked. I pulled my knees up to my chest and cradled the drink Az gave me in the little space between.

"The baby looks like Rhysand in coloring, and the wings, but I think he looks more like Feyre in the face." I smiled a little. The baby was precious.

They began a round of speculation what the baby's name would be, what he would be interested in when he grew up, whether he would have all of the magical gifts that Feyre did. It was a family talking and joking and teasing. It would have been perfect if I wasn't so nervous to open my mouth that had kissed Tarquin.

"Where is Tyler?" I asked when there was lull in the conversation.

Tarquin tilted his head at me, the first time I had acknowledged him. He seemed to try and tell me something between the space, without talking or changing his expression. _I wanted to kiss you too, you know. Why are you so embarrassed when I kissed you back?_

 _I can't just go around kissing High Lords when my sister is a High Lady_. I shot back with an exasperated look.

"Tyler has a party to attend, Cressida is bringing him later." Tarquin said with a smirk. Did he understand me?  
"I'm glad he is making friends." Azriel commented. I nodded. Tyler was just as popular as Tremaine had been, only Tyler had friends that were many kinds of Faerie, human, or somewhere in between.

The conversation flowed back and forth, until Feyre, Rhysand, and the baby started down the stairs. Rhysand was carrying the baby, and while I had healed Feyre, it was probably for the best. I made eye contact with Azriel and tilted my head towards the stairs, so he would go help Feyre. He rose instantly, crossing to them.

Already a bassinette sat in the living room. We had been expecting them, and the baby. I doubted the baby would have much time sleeping by itself, everyone wanted to hold him. Cassian had been holding his own child, but I could tell he was almost as excited for his nephew.

The baby was passed around, starting with Elain. Then Mor took him, practically clawing him from Elain after a few minutes. Azriel took the baby next, then Cassian, Nesta, Me, Armen, Varian, then Tarquin.

"I've never held a baby before." He said when Elain took the baby from Varian to pass him to Tarquin.

I blinked, completely surprised. "Karly, give him the pillow thing you have." Elain said sweetly.

I'd brought the feeding pillow I had bought in the quarter. It propped the baby up so you didn't have to hold them with both hands, or any hands. There was no risk in hurting their neck that way.

I put the pillow in his lap. "You really don't need this." I said quietly enough that only Varian heard. I took the baby from Elain and laid him gently on the pillow.

After a very short time he made to pass on to someone else. Elain, again, rose to collect the baby.

"Precious," Tarquin said of the child when he left his lap.

The front door opened, and Tyler galloped over to the sitting room. "I want to see the baby" he whisper-yelled. Cressida must have told him to be quiet. Both babies were asleep.

Tyler clambered onto my lap and held out his hands expectantly. I repositioned just as Elain made to put him in his arms. I kept my hand on the back of Tyler's, for just a little extra neck support.

"Why is he so little?" Tyler asked.

"Well, he almost didn't fit in Feyre's belly as big as he is now. I don't think it would be very pleasant if he was much bigger." I explained.

Tyler seemed a bit at a loss. Tyler then wanted to hold Cassian and Nesta's baby, but by himself. We let him, but with the feeding pillow. He was old enough to hold a baby, but he had a short attention span and I was worried he would forget what he was doing and just set the baby down or push him off.

Indeed, it wasn't long before Tyler convinced Cassian that they needed to go run around the obstacle course before I sent him to bed.

Cassian made a joke, that I had no authority to send him to bed, unless he was drunk. Which Tyler rolled on the floor laughing at. Mor and Cressida left in the direction of Mor's bedroom.

I helped Rhys and Feyre and Nesta get the babies into bed, and then turned to my own bed. I had to dodge Tarquin each night, he was the one who was going to bring Tyler to me.

Even though I had been trying to avoid him, I still had a moment with him, not just the moment of mental talking, but when I laid the newborn on his lap. It was hard to avoid a person I wanted nothing more than to kiss. Another reason I had to keep the distance between us.


	35. Chapter 35: Trouble Brews

**Chapter 35: Trouble brews**

 **Karlene:**

There was a problem. The Illyrians, I knew had been unhappy since the end of the war, but now that unhappiness had leached into the next generation. Unhappiness that turned into outright rebellion. And since populations always boomed after a war, it was a huge problem for Night Court. Rhysand and Cassian had done their best to slow the dissent, but real, bloody action had to be taken. Rhys had been waiting for this move until after Feyre had recovered from giving birth. She wanted to be there, and she wanted to fight herself.

I agreed to watch both babies, with Elain. Neither of us were fighters, and I would be waiting for them to come back with bandages and healing magic at the ready.

We shared one last night with Tyler. Usually Tyler was dropped off at the River Manor, and then someone would drop him off for lesson in Summer Court.

In the morning we'd go over the plan again and then they would leave. We didn't want Tyler or Tarquin anywhere near here, even if the latter knew something was happening. We didn't need other Courts getting involved, so we tried to keep them both in the dark. As much as possible. Tarquin was no fool and knew something was happening. He offered to have me, Elain, and babies stay in Summer until whatever was over. There would be no threat to Velaris though.

That night, no one was talkative. Tyler even seemed more somber, and each party slinked into their rooms. Tyler fell asleep on the couches, tonight he would be sleeping Summer Court, and Tarquin would take him home.

The last to leave, Feyre and Rhys, gave me a look that made it clear I was supposed to talk to Tarquin, the only other conscious person in the sitting room. I gave her a look back, one that told her mind her own business.

"Karly," Tarquin started when I set my cup down. He stood and started to cross to me. I had no intention of having this conversation. Ever if I could help it. "Karly, I don't want you think I'm mad."

I looked up through my lashes. He was standing, not wanting to come close enough to block me from leaving.

"I shouldn't have kissed you, there can never be anything between us. I wouldn't want to have to keep important secrets from you, or from Feyre." I explained. "Kissing you was a lapse in boundaries, that we need, for sake of the Courts."

Tarquin knelt before me. "I would never ask you keep secrets from Feyre or Rhysand. I find it very, very unlikely that will ever be something so important that you can't tell them. We have the same values, the same hopes for the future. That will never change. If secret keeping is the only reason you are reluctant to share a future with me, then I swear we will find a way to assuage your worries."

Tarquin was fumbling for something in his pocket. I knew it was a ring before there was a shine. I couldn't say yes, not like this. I also couldn't say no once he asked. I wanted to marry him and love him, but I had to talk to Feyre first. I had to make sure that that balance he talked about was achievable.

I had to walk away again, at the wrong time. Upset him when he likely was feeling very discouraged.

I did, before he could pull the ring from his pocket.

"I just need time to think," I said, already feet away.

"Karlene, I," Tarquin sputtered. I landed on the first step.

"I'm sorry Tarquin. I will talk to you about this after the Illyrians are dealt with, and after I have slept for more than a few hours." I turned away and hurried up the stairs.

…

As Cassian went through the plan one last time, I stopped listening. Feyre had called me silly for running from Tarquin again. Silly for thinking I couldn't marry whoever I wanted. I would have to apologize to Tarquin. Though, I needed that time. I had never imagined I would ever want to marry another person after Tremaine, if I got engaged again, I would have to actually get married.

Nesta and Elain's opinion wouldn't be a bad thing to get. Elain likely would call it brilliant and ask to do the flower arrangements for the wedding. Nesta couldn't complain that he didn't have money. I was fairly confident that Summer Court was wealthier than Night Court, only because of it's better weather and proximity to the other courts. It also didn't barricade itself in secrets.

Thinking on it again, I wanted everyone's opinion on the matter. They knew the workings of this world better than I did.

I opened my mouth, as soon as Cassian called the meeting to conclude.

Armen stopped me from talking. "Before you ask girl, no one cares who you marry, as long as you love them."

I was shocked. Did Feyre tell everyone?

"Well, I mean another High Lord could create problems, and with what happened with Tamlin…" I struggled to explain my doubts. They were terrible doubts, more like excuses. Tarquin and Tamlin couldn't be more different. I had been living in Summer Court for years, and there was never an issue with secrets, except telling him about the cut on my hand. Now that the war was over, there wasn't a need to keep that a secret. There was no problem with this. Nothing.

I loved Tarquin, I adored our time together. He made me do fun and adventurous things I would never try without him. I loved him, and yet I was creating problems where there was none.

"I guess I'm just scared, a bit." I said finally. They all nodded, as if they had known this all along too.

They left after that.

Everyone, Nesta included, had gone to war. Well, that was bit dramatic. There would be battle, my family and a few loyal Illyrian's against the large population of the winged fiends.

They were going into their base, of sorts, to take out leadership, and they planned on making a bloody occasion of it. To prove, not just were they in charge, but they had the right ideas. It seemed odd that killing dissenters was the way people chose to prove they were right, but in this case the lives they took would save more in the long run.

I wasn't going, I would wait here, watching the babies with Elain, and twiddling my thumbs until they reappeared, likely with a need for healing.

The babies were asleep, and Tarquin had come to collected Tyler last night. I had restocked the medical supplies yesterday, anticipating at least a few problems with their confrontation.

I truly had nothing to do unless I wanted to cook dinner, but I didn't know when they would be home, so it would probably be a waste of effort. With nothing to do until one of the babies woke up, I had been sleeping a lot in between.


	36. Chapter 36: Illyrians in Velaris

**Hello All,**

 **The next two chapters I have rewritten more times than I can count. There were so many moments I wanted to put in these intense scenes, but I had to stay true to what I thought Karlene would do. More than all of the other chapters I hope you enjoy these, as I'm really nervous to share them.**

 **Happy reading,**

 **Court**

* * *

 **Chapter 36: Illyrians**

 **Karlene:**

I did not awake to the sounds of crying. There was a cool bite of metal on my neck.

An Illyrian blade pressed into my throat. I calmed my breathing, not daring to move any more of myself.

"Wakey, wakey. We need you to tell us which baby is which." One giant Illyrian with green siphons cooed.

I slowly sat up, surveying the room. Elain was standing in a similar position to what I was in, knife to the throat. She held Nesta and Cassian's baby. The other baby was being held by one of the attackers. I lunged for the baby, scolding words already coming out. He wasn't supporting his neck.

"He can't hold his head up like that yet, you could kill him." I reached for the month old. The Illyrian, was so shocked at my lecturing tone, that he dropped the baby into my arms. They continued to let me hold the baby correctly. Odd. They must have something planned if they didn't mind me having possession of the child. Now that I had him, I would not relinquish him. Elain was holding the other, so maybe they needed something more than the identity of the babies. If they tried to take them, I would find a way to go with them. Elain seemed to have a similar opinion, from the glint of her eyes and the set of her jaw.

"If you are taking the babies, let me pack a bag for them." I offered. Anything, anything to stall them. One of the Illyrians who was clearly in charge, tilted his head, assessing my offer, it's genuineness.

He nodded and the green one that had woken me smacked my back, so I moved forward. I could feel the bruise already.

If they didn't know whose baby was whose, then Elain must have had them both up and out of their nurseries. There was a small supply room, more of a linen closet really, that baby stuff had been piled into. I took them there. The nurseries could give away their identity, as they were attached to their parent's rooms and had different sized clothing in the drawers. If they didn't know which child would be the next High Lord, then they couldn't leave. Hopefully.

I pulled the folded stroller from the closet with one hand.

"We don't want that." The largest of them growled, I nodded but didn't move it. There was a small knife in the carrier pouch of the stroller. There were hidden weapons all over the house, but there was only this one knife in the babies' things.

Elain knew this too. She stooped to pull the bag from the undercarriage.

"Here, fill it with more clothes and soft towels." Elain held the bag open as best she could with one hand. The pocket with the knife increasingly closer. I could get it. Elain's hands were shaking, her hold on Nesta's kid was tight even though she was terrified. I didn't dare make eye contact with her, they might think we were planning something, better to pretend we kept our heads down out of fear and submission.

There were six in total. All stood in a semi-circle around Elain, they wouldn't see my movements as I faced them.

I filled the bag with towels and clothes and a few cloths for diapers. I pulled the knife free when I shoved the last of the diapers in, the bag near bursting. My heart rate might have given me away, but no one bothered to search me.

They didn't seem to mind the hold up. Like they didn't care how long they were here. Something must be wrong then. Everyone was due back soon, if they weren't concerned about running into the rest of the family, then there must be a huge problem.

"Will there be someone who knows how to take care of a baby, wherever it is you're taking them?" I asked as I handed the bag to one of them.

"I have a wife." He affirmed. I nodded, but did nothing else to try to continue their leave.

"I know these children well, I could come too." I offered.

They laughed at that. They weren't completely stupid. A pity.

I had to figure something out. No way I could kill six, even if I wasn't holding a baby. Even if Elain didn't have a knife to her throat, which was replaced after I gave the bag to one of them. Even if I had a real weapon. My heart rate increased until I thought it would pound right up my throat. Maybe I should have taken Cassian up on training more often than never. I hadn't imagined that they could get into Velaris, and never would I have thought they could get into the Manor.

"Well," I started again. Stall, stall, stall. But no one was coming, maybe not for hours. I needed help. I needed someone who could kill. I needed help.

My magic that I had dredged up was healing, even in the best of times I barely could hold a shield. My magic just didn't like that. I had no offensive magic and barely any defensive. The Illyrians here had ten siphons between the six of them. I couldn't hold off ten, I barely cold block the sea spray when I was in Summer Court.

Summer Court.

I could winnow us.

I could get us there, and even if one of the Illyrians somehow latched on and came, we would be protected. I just had to get us on the front porch. There was no winnowing in the Manor.

Elain seemed to sense my change. I was not helpless. I could run, I just needed to grab Elain and get us out the door.

"Well, he needs his blanket, otherwise he'll never sleep. It has soothing scents woven into it." I claimed. Neither child was old enough to have a favorite item, they were still both considered newborns, technically. I led the way down the stairs, at sword point. Down the stairs then out the door, we were getting closer to their goal, but also my new one. I could winnow faster than they could attack. They wouldn't dare hurt us while we held the babies. This would work. We would be just fine.

I could do this. I pushed my fear down, it would get us killed. In the sitting room we frequented most, the couches and arm chairs were arranged in a large circle. Along the wall were racks with blankets, a cabinet for wine and a liquor decanter. On the opposite wall, a decorative glass case filled with cards from this past solstice. Some of the cards were well-wishers for the babies.

My nephews were being hunted for being so powerful. I had no offensive power, and barely any defensive. The Cauldron had only given healing, everything else took too much concentration to use, not when I was surrounded by powerful Illyrian's all of the time.

I stopped with my back to all of them, facing the wall and the blanket rack. I pulled the knife from the folds of my sweater where I had hidden it.

I had a second to mentally and physically prepare.

I hefted Feyre's baby a bit higher, then I spun and slashed the knife through the jugular of the one had been following right behind me. I slashed deep and true. One of Cassian's first lessons. Not that I had kept up with those.

"I think you haven't thought this through. You should leave before the High Lord or Lady returns." I ordered, or I tried. I was really damn scared. I took a few hurried steps to grab Elain and get out the front door.

Elain was yanked tighter. A bead of blood was so vibrant against the white of her throat.

"Drop the knife, girly." The one holding Elain spit. Elain clung the to the baby, even as the leader tried to pull it from her.

"Stop," I screamed. This didn't work. I was stuck in a corner. I needed help. I couldn't do this myself after all. One of them made a gesture for me to drop the knife. It clattered to the floor, sprinkling more blood everywhere.

A blast of green shot from one of the siphons. I shielded, barely. I was untrained and terrible with defensive magic. I needed something else, I needed to use both hands. I backed up along the wall.

"You'll kill the baby." One screamed at the green siphon wielder.

My shield was still holding. Flickering a bit, I had not too long before that wasn't true.

My back hit the liquor cabinet.

The blinding green light was still covering my movements.

I opened the largest compartment and dropped the baby into one of the wine racks. The door shut with a satisfying click. There might not have been weapons in my nephews things, but I reached for the long blade behind the cabinet.

The siphon stopped bombarding my feeble shield.

"Karly," Elain screeched in warning, followed by a wet crunch and thud of her body on the floor. My eyes couldn't focus on the pool of blood forming.

I raised the blade I had pulled from hiding.

"Very well, let's see what the dog has taught you." One spit.

Not much I almost said. I hadn't bothered, hadn't thought it necessary. Now I was going to die. Die trying to protect my family from kidnappers.

I raised my blade, and the Illyrian met it lazily, as if expecting me to drop it from the first hit. I didn't, I dipped under his blade and scraped mine into the crack of his armor on his neck, blood welled. My power was desperate to heal it. His surprise showed. Using the momentum of the twisting dodge, I drove the blade through his throat and out the back.

They had realized I no longer had the baby. Another blast of siphon power shot for me. It was like he was trying to fill me with pain before melting my bones. I could only scream. I hadn't expected to need another shield, not that I had the ability to make one. Never had I felt so pathetic and slow and untrained.

I couldn't make another, thankfully the Illyrians were mad enough that they wanted to feel it as they killed me. That was it, thankfully, only a single, short blast to put me off guard. Funny since I had been off guard since I was woken up.

My arms, my torso was smoldering. My healing was working on it so slowly. I wouldn't be able to use the blade when they took the last steps to kill me.

The Cauldron was right.

I couldn't save anyone.


	37. Chapter 37: The High Lord of Summer

**Chapter 37: High Lord of Summer**

 **Karlene:**

The world seemed to slow. The throbbing of Elain's heart, pumping her life's blood on to the floor slowed, the screech of pain in my wounds dulled.

The doors to the manor blew open, drawing everyone's attention. I took the opening. Even if it ripped tears into the crisped skin on my arms. I shoved the blade through one of their chests.

Three more.

A wave of water rose in the doorway, but didn't continue, as if looking to see what was happening. Checking where the babies were, where I was. Teetering before it the wave turned into tentacles that shoved down throats, knocking all but the one holding Nesta's baby to the ground.

A white haired, dark figure scooped the baby from the drowning Illryian's arms.

Time picked back up. I threw myself to Elain. I laid my blackened hands on her chest. Her throat had only a thin slice, which was a miracle in itself.

Another figure, a moment later, ran into the room. I heard his loud voice demanding I explain. Red hair, longer than mine, blocked the view of Elain. Lucien had all but thrown himself over her.

"Lucien," I choked. I couldn't heal her with him in the way. He receded only enough for me to see the wound.

I knit it quickly. She had lost a lot of blood and likely wouldn't wake up for a few hours. I tried to say so, only a sob came out.

Elain, Elain, Elain.

My hands were now covered in her blood, my pants soaked through in the knees and below.

I was so red. So, so, red.

…

 **Tarquin:**

Karlene was staring at her hands like she had never seen such a terrible thing. Her whole body was shaking almost violently, either from shock or fear or something else.

It was a miracle that I felt her wound through the bond, normally only life-threatening pains could be felt. What the Illyrians had done to her was disgusting, they had incinerated a small part of her torso and all up one of her arms. But with her healing there was little that was truly life-threatening to her.

I was shocked I had gotten here before Lucien, especially considering Elain's wound. I winnowed here the second I felt something, he should have felt Elain sooner, come sooner. To be fair he didn't know that there was something dangerous happening today. He might have felt it, but not known there was a true risk.

I shifted the baby to my hip. A twisting bit of water winded around Karly's hands. Cleaning them, washing away the blood from her kills and that of Elain.

I should have come when she had shot unease and fear down the bond. I thought the others had returned and were injured, something that would unsettle her, but was not an attack.

The water washed away the dead skin that had been healed over. The parts that weren't still blackened. Her natural healing was healing her torso first. It was more important than appendages.

"Karlene," I knelt next to her.

"Will they ever be safe?" her voice broke. The despair, the fear for her nephews leeched all the anger and hate I felt towards what had happened, turning it into something darker.

She had no more tears though. Karly, I had learned only really needed to cry about something once before she got over the sadness or frustration of something, and focused her energy into a solution.

This, though… I doubted she would recover so easily from being attacked in her own home. This wasn't the first time she was attacked in her house, this time though it wasn't a success.

A clack of shoes on the door frame alerted us that more people were entering the house. Karlene's attention went right to that.

"You ruined my carpets," Feyre offered halfheartedly. They were gory. Half of them were limping.

A quick sweep of the room by the group. Nesta fell over Elain. Cassian took his child from me.

"Where is he?" Rhysand asked with quiet malice, death promised.

Karlene had not bothered to stand, and still chose to crawl on the floor. No one spoke as she swung open the liquor cabinet door. A sleeping future High Lord within.

"I think," Karly said hoarsely, "It might be time to stop dodging Cassian's attempts to train me."

Weak laughs echoed in the manor.

Karlene healed the injuries of her family, she didn't bother to heal the lesser wounds. Armen suffered a particularly nasty gash to the shoulder, brushing it off as a scratch.

I helped Azriel and Mor move and dispose of the bodies. Lucien carried Elain to her room, under Feyre's supervision. When the bodies were removed, I sent water through the carpets trying to save them from complete ruin.

Cassian, the last patient, rose to give his little one a bath, he had a bit of Elain's blood on him. Leaving me and Karly in the sitting room alone after Rhysand thanked me profusely.

"How did you know to come?" She asked quietly. "How did you know we were in trouble?"

I looked at her profile. Blood speckled her nose like freckles. Her hair was unkempt and loose. Her clothes were burnt, and her hands had ash covering her skin. I didn't doubt that it wouldn't be unblemished any more. Remembering one of the last civil conversations we had had. She looked beaten down, exhausted in magic, body, and heart.

"You know," I answered. _You're my mate._ I sent it down the bond. It had cemented, clicked into place fully when the pain of her wound shot down it. There was no going back now. We were bonded in the most intimate way possible.

"I think I need help. Bathing. And not in as a rouse to get you have sex with me. I think I really need help." She sighed miserably.

"You're asking for something other than information?" I joked, but went to help her to her feet.

She took both of my hands when I pulled her up. She smiled a bit. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I found out the day Tremaine died, and I never wanted to force you into a relationship." She released one of my hands and traced the curve of my jaw.

"Thank you for saving me." She murmured.

My fingers reached around her back and I pulled her to me the last little bit. She still had that little smile when I kissed her.

When I pulled back, we stood hand in hand, eye to eye, soul to soul.


	38. Chapter 38: Summer Vibes

**Hello all,**

 **These are the last chapters of this story. I have plans to begin writing a TOG and ACOTAR cross over, set with the next generation of our favorites (and of course lots of our favs). I would love to hear your thoughts on this story and on requests for the next ventures. I'm looking for a beta-reader or maybe more of a partner for this coming story, because I think it'll be long and intense, too much for me to do alone, while taking so many credits.**

 **Thank you so much for all of your support and love. I truly want to thank you all, especially those who have commented and reviewed often. This story bugged and bugged me until I wrote it all out. I'm glad that so many have enjoyed it.**

 **As always,**

 **Happy reading, Court**

* * *

 **Chapter 38: Summer Vibes**

 **Feyre:**

There was a massive engagement party for Karlene and Tarquin. For our wedding Rhys and I had invited most of the High Lords, and all of Velaris. Summer was more neutral than Night Court. That was clear since Karly and Tarquin seemed to have invited the whole of Pythian. As if they needed to share their love and happiness with everyone, as Rhysand and I had needed to the year after the war.

The party was on the beach. It stretched down further than I could see. Tables laden with food dotted down the beach, and people from all over milling about. I wondered if the party stretched the whole border of Summer.

Karlene had dressed herself in a gorgeous dress. The pale blue swaths of gossamer were embroidered with flowers real and beaded. The layers were flowy and light, perfect for summer heat. The sleeves and waist were tied with a gorgeous pink satin ribbon. Her hair was let down loose, something she had only done after moving to Summer Court. She looked as elegant as the waters, as flowing as the waves. Tarquin was a fan of symbolism.

We all wore intensely festive things. Apparently Karlene had a large wardrobe because she lent me a dress with a light flowy black bottom, but a full, riotous garden seemed to be sewn into the top of the dress. Bright colors were not something I wore often, it seemed almost wrong for the High Lady of Night. It was a gorgeous dress and I was in Summer, plus Karlene pulled dresses out for each of us, giving us all Summer Court clothes that fit her floral theme.

Elain's dress was a layered silk of every shade of pink and peach. Ruffled layers fell and stacked in tiers until she looked like a princess in a story. Azriel kept watching her, as he had with Mor when I first met him. Nesta wore one of Karlene's dresses that seemed more laid back. Full white flowers were sewn all over the light-colored gossamer and lace, almost a wedding dress.

Mor chose the only red dress, it was very short compared to the rest, with a large red bow and sheer top. Red and sexy, as Mor always dressed. Cressida wore a bright dress that matched Mor's for vibrancy. Cressida's dress had flowers in bright greens, reds, pinks, and oranges that looked like they were growing up from the top of the dress, the bottom was the brightest orange silk.

Karlene's clothes were art, not just fashion or a way to stay cool, or even a way to highlight her body. Fashion as an art form, all of them looked so gorgeous in the atmosphere of Summer.

Food was piled everywhere. Flowers arranged at the ends of the tables. Everything was in peak bloom and lightness. The abundance of Summer was never more clear. The unofficial host of the party, Helion, announced it was time for Karlene and Tarquin to dance together. The crowds from down the beach shoved in to get better views.

The tune started, a quick melody filled with different twisting and twining pieces that brought out the love and happiness that made me tear up just a bit.

It was perfect for them. They danced and twirled, normally they laughed their way through the dance floor, content to make jokes all night and dance freely, tonight they had eyes only for each other. As if they could see the whole world in only the eyes of the other. They stayed in normal formation, holding each other close.

Towards the end, Tarquin dipped Karlene slowly. Karly arched backward, her hair touching the sand. Tarquin kissed up her throat until she let out a giggle that bubbled over the sound of the music. The magic of two people so giddily in love was more powerful healing than whatever magic the Cauldron had given Karlene.

They finished their dance to riotous applause and set off to dance with everyone possible. The volume of the music grew as more and more people found partners to twirl and spin, sharing the love and light that Karly and Tarquin emanated before us all.

As the night progressed, it was apparent that Tamlin had come to the party as well. He approached only once, kept to other side of the party until he made his way to me. After a short conversation with me, he left all together. He came and congratulated me on my happiness, on my child. He pushed his way to Tarquin, whom he congratulated, then winnowed away. Further down the beach, or back to Spring most likely.

Rhysand was helping our son totter around the beach. Tamlin was kind to make a point of not being aggressive, but there was still discomfort there. I didn't need anything he could give me, not even his forgiveness, not when there was so much happiness right here. With my mate, my son, and my family.

The whole night, there was only love. As the night went on, Karlene laughed and giggled her way through the well-wishers, never letting go of Tarquin's hand. I wished every night could be as exciting and happy.

Likely we would be visiting them as often as they did us. Tarquin was a phenomenal party thrower.

At the end of the night, a fireworks show decorated the sky for an hour. Colors and shapes brought into the sky in giant bursts of colored fire. People gazed up at the sky, holding their loved ones close. Rhysand had our son sleeping over one of his shoulders, as we watched the sparkling of the sky, a different beauty of the night.


	39. Chapter 39: Happily, Ever After

**Chapter 39: Happily, ever after**

 **Karlene:**

The sun was shining extra bright this morning. I woke before Remi did. Now that he was out of his crib, he had taken to snuggling with us in the mornings. Before we faced the Court and long summer days.

Remi and our newborn daughter, Calista, completed our family. Tarquin had refused other help, nannies and wet nurses. Until morning sent us into meetings. He claimed that we didn't get enough with time our children, with Remi when he was that small. So, we cared for her as normal parents would.

There was nothing normal about us, though.

I watched my sleeping mate. Fully content to do that all day. We didn't wait long to have kids, maybe it was the lingering humanness of me, but I wanted their cousins to be close to the same age. It seemed all of us had similar ideas. Feyre and Rhysand weren't the only ones to have children in the years since the war.

There would be a whole new generation of High Lords and Ladies.

"Momma," Remi called from the door, cracking it just a bit. His skin was dark, not the deep tan that Tarquin had, but it was clear he was Summer baby. His hair was not quite white, but more blonde, with a mix of slivers and golds too. A Summer baby indeed.

I reached my hands off the edge of the bed, so Remi could have a boost up. He clambered over top of me, still so gentle after the months of having to be careful of my tummy. Then nestled next to his father, I curled around him too.

It was bliss. I didn't think I had ever been this happy.


	40. PREFACE of ACOGAS

**Hello All,**

 **This is the prologue to my new story! It will be a crossover, and since Karlene is SUCH an important character in the new story I thought some of ya'll might want a tease. If you're interested, search A Court of Glass and Shadows! More chapters coming soon-ish!**

 **Thanks for all the support!**

 **Much love,**

 **Court**

* * *

 **Before:**

 **Karlene:**

Gathering together was a good idea. The bad idea was bringing an army. Meeting with the High Lords of Prythian and the kings of the East was a good idea. There were things stirring, people going missing. War was coming. As much as I would like it to be not true, war was very nearly upon us.

Everyone was meeting, inspecting troops, making plans for when the invading army truly came. The scouts that were stealing lone magic users, were nothing compared to what was coming, the ones caught said as much.

I was in the healing tents, everyone else was at a practice pitch over a mile away in a field. Remi and Cassidy were helping me arrange things for the sore muscles and bruises that would come in later.

"Mom," Remi called from edge of tent line. If the fear wasn't clear in his voice, well, the scent rose swiftly from all around.

The sky was dotted with black winged creatures. They looked for all the world like some giant cross between Attor's and Illryians. I knew, from Azriel's spies, that these were Ilken.

"The alarms, love, go ring them." I told Remi. It would make him a target though. "Cassidy, go, winnow the children out of here."

Both of them were gone before I could say another word.

I ran towards the middle of the camp, I would be able to hold a shield best there.

Ilken didn't respond to magic, but healing was something different. I was truly the only one who could do this.

I wrapped a great golden dome of around the camp, hopefully it would be large enough that the others would see it. There once was time that I couldn't hold a shield against even an Illyrian, but not anymore. I had trained and worked so that this shield would hold. I had stopped trying to make shields of other things, and used some odd form of my healing power to make a shield. The ilken were charred by healing powers and so were incinerated upon touching the shield.

The first of the ilken hit the shield and were charred. Still they threw themselves against it, hoping that one could get through.

Remi rang the alarms then everyone came running to the middle walkways where my children could see and winnow them. Cassidy and Remi would winnow somewhere far enough to be called safe. They took as many as he could winnow back to the ships. Armies didn't move alone, camp mothers, children, wives, elder advisors were all here.

Everyone else was on the field so far away.

Cassidy and Remi made trip after trip, and I could tell that they were lagging. They were still so young. Still they would not stop until they were completely out of power or they got everyone out.

Large and larger chunks fell from the sky, meaning more of the ilken were getting through before being charred.

I hated to tell my children to not come back, to not save the rest, but there was only one or two more groups left. I could hold it that long.

Remi flashed before me, said something my pounding ears couldn't hear, then disappeared again.

There was no one here. I was all alone. The others didn't come for us. They must have never seen my shield. I let it drop.

Everyone was alive and that was enough.

…

 **Finnin:**

There was no sign of Aunt Karlene, but a few drops of blood. Remi had said his mother's nose was bleeding heavily before he left with the last group.

Tarquin was destroyed, and everyone else shaken. Aunt Karlene had delivered every High Lord's child since the last war. She was the most trusted, most kind person in this world.

Mother was convinced she was taken, not killed, Uncle Tarquin too.

I didn't know. I didn't know how we were going to beat the Valg, but having our most powerful healer stolen from us was not a good start.

We needed help.

Auntie Armen had been world jumping for fun, but she had found a world which might be able to help. It was directly next door, in a way that worlds were next door. Auntie Armen had also heard of Valg impact. They had survived this threat.

Bear would go. Bear always got to do the things that mattered. Bear would go and we would all rejoice when he brought back help.


End file.
